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Michelle Bachmann doesn’t think much of her husband

The Minnesota Republican warned that the gay community will “abolish age of consent laws, which means we will do away with statutory rape laws so that adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”

She also predicted that gay rights advocates will legalize polygamy and enact “hate speech laws across the United States” in order to bring about “the rise of tyranny.”

Perry campaign Sunday in Waterloo, Iowa

Self-loathing much?

Allegedly gay Texas Gov. Rick Perry went to San Francisco today to argue that homosexuality, like alcoholism, is just another lifestyle choice.

“Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that,” Perry said during an appearance at the Commonwealth Club of California, according to the San Francisco Chronicle newspaper. “I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”

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It begins

Oh, how I’ve dreaded this day, among the most holy on the hipster calendar.  It’s Christmas morning for Europhiles, who, as I write this, are summoning every ounce of faux passion within their eager-to-please-the-right-people beings in preparation for Day 1 of the World Cup. They’ll act like they’ve been waiting their whole lives for this moment, but in reality most have been waiting about three years, or whenever it was their collective informed them soccer (they get really pissed off when you call it that) is the new handlebar mustache.

This is particularly evident in New York creative circles, where the game’s aesthetics, Europhilic allure and fashionable otherness have made soccer the new baseball — the go-to sport of the thinking class.

Because nothing says intellectual quite like following the herd.

“It’s almost guaranteed that almost any male literary person under the age of 45 is going to be somewhat versed in soccer,” said Sean Wilsey, a writer who helped edit “The Thinking Fan’s Guide to the World Cup,” a 2006 compilation of essays by the likes of Dave Eggers and Robert Coover. As a conversation topic, it has become inevitable at book parties, in part because it is both sophisticated and safe. “Isn’t it sort of a relief to talk about the English Premier League instead of the sad state of publishing?” he added. “It’s a great default topic.”