Remembering Ralph

(originally posted 6/10/08) I found out my step-grandfather died tonight. No sympathy required — it’s sort of a funny story. Dark humor, you know. I’ve written about Ralph before, but there’s still much to tell. He was a fixture through my youth, though once my grandmother passed away our family cut Ralph loose. Withhold your … Continue reading Remembering Ralph

Deceptions (best of)

I’ve written before about the coffee table Bible and the prudish stripper, my two most ingenious fibs. Today I was reminded of two others. Roughly 12 years ago today my friend Ms. Ellie was expecting a very special visitor. What started as an outlandish joke evolved into a false promise that she would be paid … Continue reading Deceptions (best of)

Miley Cyrus is SEO friendly

I’ve been invited to a speak to a group of bloggers tonight during one of the Malcontent’s more pronounced lulls. Perhaps I’ll speak on selecting a new template, aka Redesigning your blog, OCD and me. Let’s see: Debt ceiling. Pass. Michele Bachmann. Still crazy. Weather. Still hot. Summer movies. Still lame. Ah, here we go. … Continue reading Miley Cyrus is SEO friendly

‘Six-time local Emmy award-winning weatherman, bearish top, Boy Scout leader’

Andrew Sullivan asks, “When did you lose your Internet cherry?” My story: I was the first of my friends to purchase a PC, a massive Compaq that set me back nearly $2,000. I was freelancing at the time, typing stories on a word processor, which I would save to a floppy disc then drive to … Continue reading ‘Six-time local Emmy award-winning weatherman, bearish top, Boy Scout leader’

How did I end up here?

I’ve found myself in some strange places over the years, including: Kate Jackson‘s bed, minus Kate Jackson; An “old-fashioned cross burning” at the home of Howard Stern’s favorite Klansmen, Daniel Carver. Work, not pleasure; On the telephone with Gallagher. Work, not pleasure; Reviewing Partridge Family memorabilia on a picnic table at Road Atlanta with Brian … Continue reading How did I end up here?

The Rapture and me

Despite accepting the “invitation to receive Christ” on more than one occasion, I wasn’t convinced of my salvation. I was only 11, after all — unprepared to handle the implications of eternal damnation. My family’s 1981 summer vacation was preceded by a Southern Baptist revival. For those of you lucky enough not to be raised … Continue reading The Rapture and me