Sarah Palin calls Tori Spelling ‘inspiring’

Besides gushing over the former “90210” prop, the reality show star turned “Today” host defended Jessica Simpson and criticized the new Steve Jobs biopic because she doesn’t like it when actors are paid to play real people. I guess she’d prefer Jobs portray himself.

Memo to Joe the Asshole: The media is not your P.R. arm

“Mr. Burns, your campaign has the momentum of a runaway train. Why are you so popular?”

It appears tea partiers take their cues from the Springfield despot when it comes to dealing with the media. Joe the Plumber, who on Tuesday secured the GOP nomination for Congress in Ohio, threw a hissy fit after a CNN anchor asked him if he still doesn’t want gay people “anywhere near” his children.

In an interview with CBS News’ Political Hotsheet, Wurzelbacher suggested that CNN had invited him on the show under false pretenses because “they asked me to come on the show to talk about what I want to do and accomplish,” and then questioned him on social issues.

Remember Sharron Angle, the dingbat U.S. Senate candidate from Nevada who couldn’t defeat Harry Reid in a Republican year? She refused to appear on any mainstream networks during her campaign because they wouldn’t let your ask for money or pimp her website.

The Angles and Wurzelbachers of the world exist in a bubble where it’s perfectly acceptable to spout homophobic slurs and speak in empty platitudes. The media’s job is not to regurgitate your propaganda — that’s what Fox and Friends are for.

CNN’s coverage of Whitney Houston funeral certain to take obsequiousness to new heights

Hyperbolic twat Piers Morgan and Don Lemon (who, when covering another famous singer’s death a few years ago, called Michael Jackson “an accidental civil rights leaders” and accused critics of CNN’s wall-to-wall coverage of being “elitist”) will co-anchor Whitney Houston’s funeral Saturday in what is sure to be a new low for the network that Ted built.

Piers Morgan interviewing Jermaine Jackson on CNN, as predicted

I didn’t predict the embarrassing assist from Don Lemming, er, Lemon, but otherwise, I called it:

The 10 Most Annoying People of 2011: Piers Morgan

When he wasn’t pimping the royal wedding as the most significant event since man learned to walk, obsequious twat Piers Morgan was lauding Matt Damon for turning the 2008 election.

Morgan had mentioned Damon’s decision to criticize Sarah Palin during the last presidential campaign:

So [you] won the election. Because you focused people’s attention in one moment on what was an extraordinary situation, where someone could come from nowhere, as you rightly said, and potentially run the country.

We can only hope perjury is a firing offense at CNN.

We’re halfway home — click here for the other honorees.

Except for the gulags, genocides and one-party rule, Communism was just dandy

The Guardian’s Neil Clark is a last-minute entrant for Useful Idiot of the Year:

No one questions that Havel, who went to prison twice, was a brave man who had the courage to stand up for his views. Yet the question which needs to be asked is whether his political campaigning made his country, and the world, a better place.

Havel’s anti-communist critique contained little if any acknowledgement of the positive achievements of the regimes of eastern Europe in the fields of employment, welfare provision, education and women’s rights. Or the fact that communism, for all its faults, was still a system which put the economic needs of the majority first.

Barbara Walters embarrasses herself

Gawker rips her interview with Syria’s tyrannical despot, and rightly so. Who the fuck vacations with dictators? Barbara Walters does.

From my experience, he was a very intelligent, a well informed, thoughtful, he spoke perfect English, wants very much to have relations with this country, has some solutions for ending the war in Iraq. She was educated in England, worked in this country, speaks English the way I’m talking to you, lovely, intelligent. I don’t want you to say- people say “oh you’re brainwashed.” But that was not it. They just were very charming and intelligent. She has a cooperative, a group teaching children to be entrepreneurs with Harvard University, was raised in England, worked in this country. So this is not what we expected in terms of the leaders.

No wonder she landed the interview. ABC would have better served sending Debbie Matenopoulos to Damascus.

Never confuse Greta Van Scientologist with a journalist

No one should be surprised that Sarah Palin’s chief media mouthpiece and BFF failed to disclose her husband was good friends with Herman Cain before interviewing the candidate’s wife.

Greta Van Susteren is no journalist — never has been, never will be. She’s an annoying media personality and cult member who just happens to score big interviews with political figures advised by her husband.

Opportunistic igmo feuds with overbearing Brit (and the most revealing Piers Morgan quote ever)

Christine O’Donnell, the poor woman’s Sarah Palin, steals a page from her mentor’s playbook to propagate the year’s most irrelevant feud.

Both shameless panderers to attention for its own sake, Christine O’Donnell and Piers Morgan are clearly a match made in heaven. This morning, having slowly walked off Morgan’s CNN show two nights ago, O’Donnell was on the Today show to declare, “I wanted to stop the borderline sexual harassment that was going on.”

Obviously the only winners in this ImbrogliO’Donnell are the people who weren’t watching CNN’s biggest mistake.

And yet I can’t stop myself  from hating on the British Pat O’Brien. Last year, the 1 British “celebrity” who matters least composed a list of the 100 British celebs who matter most.

Of Jude Law, Morgan wrote, “we shared an afternoon of cricket together at Lord’s and he wasn’t any more smug or annoying than me.”

Achingly stupid media rehabilitation du jour

From Grantland staff writer Chris Ryan:

Bay steals Hitchcock’s look

We’ve got plenty of auteurs working today. We’ve got Johnnie To’s and Tarantino’s and Cholodenko’s and Refn’s. But when you walk into a dark theater on a hot summer day with a soda big enough to power a used Prius and your hands are already sticky from popcorn “butter” and you sit down, you might have paid at the Regal or Landmark or AMC box office, but when that title card flashes, “A Michael Bay Film” you are in his house now. And whether or not you agree with his sociopolitical point of view, his treatment of robots or his treatment of Megan Fox, you must admit that, for a couple of hours, it’s a pretty awesome place to be.

Yeah, that’s the problem with today’s movies: Too many auteurs, not enough Michael Bays.