Conservative conspiracy du jour

Rush Limbaugh says Rick Santorum is the victim of a liberal conspiracy merely because Democrats are using the fundamentalist Christian’s words against him.

“The whole point of this contraception stuff [that] started last week is to make sure that if Santorum get this Republican nomination, that’s what he’s going to be known for, and of course the theme of that is: Santorum hates women, Republicans hate women, Republicans have no respect for women,” the conservative radio host said on his show. “Republicans want women in the kitchen constantly pregnant, blah, blah, whatever it is.”

No one’s saying Santorum hates women, merely that he thinks they should be ruled by his own fundamentalist beliefs.

Face it, conservatives, you may well be nominating a candidate who wants to build a bridge to the 1950s. Deal with the consequences.

Streisand to endorse Romney

Closet liberal

Clint Eastwood is such a passionate fiscal conservative that when he married his second wife, Dina Ruiz, in 1996, he included her finances in his own personal deficit-reduction campaign. “My wedding present to her was paying off her credit cards,” he told me the other day, using his bungalow on the Warner Bros. lot as a staging area for interviews touting “J. Edgar,” his new film about longtime FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover. When I asked if he’d made any similar offers as, well, an anniversary gift, Eastwood said with a laugh, “No, I told her it was a one-time deal.”

Now Eastwood, who says he has never voted for a Democrat, is being accused by conservative propagandists like Karl Rove and Michelle Malkin of serving as a pawn in some Chicago-style brainwashing. Because, as you know, EVERYTHING is a political metaphor and/or Obama conspiracy.

Good thing Rove and Malkin weren’t exposed to Sunday’s halftime pep talks. No doubt the respective coaches urged their players to come together for the common good, as Eastwood did in the Chrysler ad.

Just waiting for someone to call Eastwood a commie.

As lies mount, Cain’s hubris grows

Herman Cain plays the victim card — didn’t see that coming.

WEST CHESTER, Ohio (AP) — His campaign rocked anew, a feisty Herman Cain claimed a “groundswell of positive support” from backers on Wednesday and accused critics of trying to derail his White House bid as he worked to stem the fallout from allegations of a 13-year extramarital affair.

“They’re attacking my character, my reputation and my name in order to try to bring me down,” a feisty Cain told a friendly crowd without naming his critics. “But, you see, I don’t believe that America is going to let that happen.”

1/3 of S.C. GOP voters are ignorant

Ignorant being the most polite way to describe the “30 percent of self-identified S.C. Republicans and Republican-leaning voters [who] say Obama is a Muslim.” Another 36 percent say the president “probably” or “definitely” was born in another country.

Speaking of the president and  the Palmetto state:

Obama Visits South-Carolina-Ravaged South Carolina

The cult of conservative conspiracy theories

A recent Arbitron ratings report showed the ratings for Rusty Limbo and Helmethead dipped dramatically from the previous year.

The reason, according to an unnamed “industry leader” quoted by WingNutDaily: “Liberals,” working in consort with the Antichrist Administration, “are falsifying numbers … to kill talk radio.”

I thought that was the Fairness Doctrine’s job. It’s easy to confuse all the conspiracy theories coming from the right.

An exception to my rule on conspiracy theories

Ninety nine point nine percent of them are bullshit, but this one has teeth.

Gov. Nathan Deal has taken a page from the political playbook of Sonny Perdue by appointing the spouse of the top federal prosecutor for North Georgia to a seat on a state commission.

Deal’s office last week disclosed that the governor has reappointed J. Comer Yates, the husband of U.S. Attorney Sally Q. Yates, to a seat on the Georgia Commission on Hearing Impaired and Deaf Persons.

Because of that gubernatorial appointment of her spouse, Sally Yates, who has extensive experience prosecuting political corruption cases, will be required by Justice Department rules to recuse herself from any future investigations that her office may undertake involving Deal’s activities.

Deal has put himself in a similar position regarding potential federal investigations as his predecessor as governor, Perdue.

In August 2006, as Perdue was in the middle of his reelection campaign, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution published a series of articles that detailed Perdue’s real estate investments in Houston County and in Florida. …

About six weeks after the Salzer article detailing Perdue’s secret tax break appeared in the AJC, Perdue appointed Atlanta lawyer Catherine M. O’Neil to a seat on the state’s Criminal Justice Coordinating Council. The O’Neil appointment was announced by the governor’s office on Sept. 28, 2006.

O’Neil, then as now, is the wife of David Nahmias, who was the U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Georgia in 2006. Nahmias’ office would have been responsible for carrying out federal investigations, if any had occurred, into Perdue’s real estate dealings.

Coincidence? I doubt it, considering the track records of Deal and Perdue.

Which begs the question … is Anthony Weiner Muslim?

How to be a wingnut columnist:

1.) Tie everything to the Muslim plot to rule the world; 2.) Reference Obama allegiance to Saul Alinksy; 3.) Follow with ominous use of  “community organizing”; 4.) Add George Soros, the cherry on top.


Less than a year ago, in July 2010, Huma Abedin married Jewish U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner (D-NY). Attesting to the strength of her relationship with the Clintons, former President William J. Clinton officiated at the ceremony. Not unlike President Obama, the Clintons, as well as powerful politicos such as George Soros, are devotes of Saul Alinksy, who is considered “the founder of modern Community Organizing.” From my position, I clearly see that the actions of this group signal their socialist agenda, which includes domination of the U.S. by a Muslim ruled world.

Students, please note that, while an effective model, Eliana Benador’s column is not perfect. For one, she failed to mention Ronald Reagan or freedom.

Conspiracy theorists all the same

Left or right, they’re united by an eager mistrust that reveals a disturbing lack of curiosity. And they’re condescending as hell. Meet the “deathers”:

Radio host Alex Jones, a powerful hub of anti-government sentiment and leader of those who believe the American government was behind the September 11 attacks, instantly floated his own theory: “Government had Osama bin Laden frozen for years.”

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan wrote her supporters, “I am sorry, but if you believe the newest death of OBL, you’re stupid. Just think to yourself—they paraded Saddam’s dead sons around to prove they were dead—why do you suppose they hastily buried this version of OBL at sea? This lying, murderous Empire can only exist with your brainwashed consent—just put your flags away and THINK!”

And on the conservative site Big Government, J. Michael Walker demanded that Obama lay the corpse out in lower Manhattan. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” he wrote.

Guess who agrees with them.

An arm of a Pakistani Taliban group led the charge Monday, according to Pakistan’s GEO TV, insisting that Bin Laden is still alive. Supporters rallied around a new Facebook group called, “Osama bin Laden NOT DEAD.”

Wonder what Charlie Sheen thinks.

Un-American assholes

The HEAD of Tea Party Nation is a conspiratorial jackass. That’s being polite.

Obama is taking credit for this. He did give the order. Did he really have a choice? If word leaked out that he had solid intelligence on where Bin Laden was and did not act, it would have killed any chance he had at reelection. Of course, he made his announcement right in the middle of Donald Trump’s “Celebrity Apprentice” show. Of course, that was just a coincidence.

And in case you wondered what a teabagger would have done with bin Laden’s corpse …

Osama’s body should have not been immediately buried. We should have told everyone that the body was wrapped in pig fat before burial. …

It is not just the visceral insult. It is sending a message. Contrary to what the politically correct say, Osama does represent the mainstream of Islam. By defiling the body, we say that you are not getting your 72 virgins.

Driving into the office I heard some screeching Yankee named Andrew Wilkow whine that, when Saddam was captured, few cheered because Bush was president. That’s blatantly untrue. Wilkow also claimed there would be muted celebration had bin Laden’s death been engineered by W. Sorry, Andrew, most Americans aren’t as hyper-partisan as you. Wilkow also said last night’s impromptu rally outside of the White House was engineered by the Democratic Party.

The irrational right’s bubble grows more delusional and classless by the day. Looks as if they’ve reached a new low.

For the record, THEY are the ones injecting politics into what should be a nonpartisan day. Calling buffoons on their buffoonery is perfectly reasonable, and necessary. That’s what you do with un-American assholes.