‘They say children are a blessing but mine are holy terrors’

Musings from a real-life Doyle Harcavy (retired columnist for the Arlen Bystander):

I suppose the people around your pools in Arizona have the same kind of discussions these days! The folks who go to Florida love the water. And those who choose Arizona like the dry desert air.

Fox conspiring to destroy the animated sitcom

Fox has bought TWO new series featuring Russell Brand, the UK’s answer to Adam Sandler (or, as Heinrich suggests, the Brits’ idea of payback for Madonna). Besides an unscripted late night show on FX, Katy Perry’s husband has been tapped to appear in an animated comedy about himself. It’s written and produced by the team behind “Bob’s Burgers,” a show I’ve never read about, heard anyone discuss or watch. Not exactly buzzworthy, much like the network’s desperate attempt to bring back 2004 with an animated version of  “Napoleon Dynamite.” I don’t have to watch “Allen Gregory” to know I don’t like a show about an all-knowing, smart-ass prep schooler voiced by Jonah Hill. On top of that Fox has run “The Simpsons” so far into the ground they’re airing it live in China.

What’s next, a remake of “The Critic?”

The only thing worse than a hack …

Is a hack who contends he isn’t.

Ladies and gentleman, Garry Marshall, the man who introduced Robin Williams to a gullible public and director of such gems as “Runaway Bride,” “Exit to Eden,” “Valentine’s Day” and it’s follow-up, “New Year’s Eve”:

In Marshall’s defense, he was a part of one of the smartest comedy scenes ever written, from “Lost in America.” Needless to say Marshall neither wrote or directed it.

Hollywood is over: Sitcom edition

The scores of promos for “Whitney” during last Sunday night’s Falcons game promised something awful. It delivered.

Our heroine is rather less randy, and the central scene of the Whitney pilot concerns her effort to reheat a sex life that has reached a cryogenic temperature. To spice things up, Whitney gets herself a naughty nurse outfit, with the little white cap and frilly red knickers, and she surprises Alex with a frisky show of medical-care coquetry, pouting that he needs to check in for an appointment. Committing to the role-playing, she establishes that preliminaries will involve his filling out a lot of paperwork, and you steel yourself to witness a hardcore S&M scene involving health-insurance bureaucracy. But, no, Alex, racing to the boudoir with his trousers at his knees, slips and falls and sustains a concussion, and the sassy black nurse at the hospital denies Whitney’s attempts to follow her beau into the ER: “You either married or you not.” The studio audience receives a little lesson, if that’s what it is, about commitment. There is a peculiar flavor to this cheese. If you caught a snippet of Whitney unawares, you would be forgiven for assuming that it’s one of those shows-within-a-show that exists to caricature bad television.

Humorless queen du jour

Not everyone was amused by Greg the flamboyant kid on “Curb”:

Name: Stuffed Animal
Date posted: 9/13/2011 4:42:08 PM
Hometown: Kansas City


I despise any kind of crude humor that sneers at Gay identity, but it really infuriates me when children are involved. Gay and Transgender kids catch holy Hell from other kids; they don’t need adults adding to their misery. I don’t care how ‘supportive’ Larry David is of Gay Rights, he needs to f*cking get a clue.