South Carolina GOP making Strom Thurmond proud

It’s 2015 and you still can’t disown the Confederate flag? Hell, Georgia put that embarrassing relic behind us 10 years ago.

At least Gov. Nikki Haley, the Republican incumbent, didn’t refer to the “War of Northern Aggression” in this classic profile in this paean to cowardice:

“You know, the Confederate flag is a very sensitive issue, and what I can tell you is over the last three and a half years, I spend a lot of my days on the phones with CEOs and recruiting jobs to this state. I can honestly say I have not had one conversation with a single CEO about the Confederate flag… We really kind of fixed all that when you elected the first Indian American female governor. When we appointed the first African American senator.”

Libertarian opponent Steve French called bullshit:

“If you wanna paint your house in the Confederate flag, I am completely fine with that, as long as your HOA approves it. Now, Governor Haley talks about other businesses that never brought that up. Now, I disagree with that. I’ve got a friend, an MIT grad who works in California, who continues to bring up the fact that he wants to start his own business. And when I bring up it starting here in South Carolina, he laughs. He smirks. He still thinks of South Carolina as being this backwoods good old boy network. And that flag, I think, represents a lot of division in this state. And we need to be coming together.”




Dick du jour

The South Carolina GOP is rife with assholes, none bigger than the state party’s former executive director and general counsel, Todd Kincannon.

People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately. RT @AP: Dallas hospital: U.S. Ebola patient in critical condition


Will we ever laugh again?

I was in elementary school when “Mork & Mindy” was a hit. Nanu nanu? Not for me. Maybe I was turned off by the rainbow suspenders. 

Over the years my dislike of Robin Williams’ brand of frenetic, dated humor only grew. I have even less tolerance for his mawkish turns in “Dead Poets Society” and “Patch Adams,” which, according to one critic, “Indulges to the hilt every obnoxious, hyperactive, oh-what-I-wouldn’t-give-for-a-tranquilizer-gun aspect of Robin Williams’ performing style.”.

See, I was not alone. You wouldn’t know that now. 

I’m not suggesting people should trash a guy when he’s dead. And if I thought any of his family members or friends read this blog, I wouldn’t be posting this. 

But this latest example of our culture’s desperation for communal experience has gone too far. Social media was awash in Huffington Post-like tributes of 140 characters or less — “The moment we all fell in love with Robin Williams.” Speak for yourself. 

Look, if Mr. T and Nancy Reagan jokes are you thing, go ahead and mourn. To everyone else, let’s curb the phon. 

We’re told he was a nice man, and his under-the-radar USO appearances bear that out. But as a comedian and he was not my cup of tea. That doesn’t make me a bad person.  

I just hope I die before Adam Sandler does. 

The compassion of the right

Ann Coulter manages to excoriate the missionaries who contracted Ebola while treating the infected in Liberia AND play the white Christian victim card.

Coulter theorizes many do-gooders choose to help out overseas because they’re “tired of being called homophobes, racists, sexists and bigots” when they work in the U.S.

“They need to buck up [and] serve their own country,” she writes

What did Kid Dyn-o-mite ever see in her?.

Meanwhile, Michele Bachmann has declared war on illegal immigrants

“What we have to recognize is that this truly is a war against the American people,” Bachman said. “And if we don’t act like it and take this border seriously, we’re going to have even more gangs.”


Ye shall overcome

Kanye West continues to insist celebrities are as oppressed today as blacks were in the 1960s — an absurd premise likely to be rationalized by media lickspittles.

Kanye says there’s a parallel between blacks fighting for civil rights in the ’60s and celebs fighting for theirs today:  “I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also.”  Goldberg asks if he equates the struggle of blacks in the past with celebrities today and Kanye says, “Yes, 100 … I equate it to discrimination.  I equate it to inequalities.”

Kanye goes on, “We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this — guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”

You could argue celebs are even more oppressed. Martin Luther King Jr. never had to deal with problems like these:


The 10 worst movies I paid money to see

I can think of only two occasions when I bought a ticket for a movie I knew would suck:

10.) “Fast Food” Starring Jim Varney and the guy who played Jo’s boyfriend on “The Facts of Life.” A friend of mine was an extra. His big head made a brief cameo.

9.) “Battlefield Earth” Leaves you pitying Scientologists.

As for the rest, I was either too young to know better or unfairly duped:

8.) “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” Entertaining travelogue, respected director, gifted actors. Aimless script, bad Southern accents, terrible movie.

7.) “The Secret of My Success” A thorough encyclopedia of 80s cliches that reminds you just how much the 80s sucked.

6.) “Top Gun” Older, gayer version of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad. Will sequel top or bottom the original?

5.) “Celebrity” Of all the bad Woody Allen impressions, Kenneth Branagh’s was the most insufferable. Soon-Yi must’ve written the script.

4.) “Magnolia” Overrated sadist Paul Thomas Anderson subjects a dying Jason Robards to Tom Cruise warbling overwrought Aimee Mann songs. At least we were spared Fiona Apple.

3.) “Reality Bites” Makes you want to stab the 90s in the heart with machete used to kill Ethan Hawke’s character. I got your winter of discontent right here, bitch!

2.) “St. Elmo’s Fire” A unapologetic stalker gets the girl, a 23-year-old bore gets his own newspaper column, Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe plays the sax and Mare Winningham dons a girdle. And Judd Nelson. Yep, the 80s sucked.

1.) “Very Bad Things” A badly cast snuff film. Unfortunately, not everyone dies.

No idea how “Born on the Fourth of July” and “JFK” didn’t make the cut. “Fast Food” was better.

Why are these people running?

To get the autograph of Mr. Personality, Nick Saban, of course.

Just before he reaches his Mercedes, Saban is approached by an Alabama fan who wants to thank the coach for signing a football for his son. It meant so much to the boy, the man says. Saban gives the man a confused look, as if not comprehending how this large animate object had suddenly appeared in his path, and gets in the car without saying a word.

Michelle Bachmann doesn’t think much of her husband

The Minnesota Republican warned that the gay community will “abolish age of consent laws, which means we will do away with statutory rape laws so that adults will be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”

She also predicted that gay rights advocates will legalize polygamy and enact “hate speech laws across the United States” in order to bring about “the rise of tyranny.”

Christian hypocrites

Hobby Lobby is taking a stand on Obamacare for its contraception mandate because, according to its president, “We’re Christians, and we run our business on Christian principles.”

S0 how does he rationalize carrying products from China, where forced abortions are just part of that country’s horrendous human rights record?


Self-loathing much?

Allegedly gay Texas Gov. Rick Perry went to San Francisco today to argue that homosexuality, like alcoholism, is just another lifestyle choice.

“Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that,” Perry said during an appearance at the Commonwealth Club of California, according to the San Francisco Chronicle newspaper. “I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.”