Thanksgiving always brings back memories of my step-grandfather Ralph, a pathological liar who I’m fairly certain was in the witness protection program. (He looked the part, and his surname was … Continue Reading Pass the rolls!
I was probably 5 or 6 when I received my first doctor’s kit but was disappointed with the thermometer. Always the resourceful tot, I turned to most trusted accessory. No … Continue Reading Sexual assault with a rogue Crayola
I’ve written about my paternal grandfather (not to be confused with my infamous step-grandfather) before. Pop Pop Boone was a master storyteller with incredibly bad judgment and questionable character. Not … Continue Reading Thanksgiving in Toomsboro
Particularly when he’s critical of a certain Oscar-winning screenwriter‘s new film, “J. Edgar”: For now, we have another miscalculation in a bloodless film about a monster more pathetic than dangerous, … Continue Reading I’m not above quoting Rex Reed
A new biography on the life of Walter Payton alleges that the NFL Hall of Famer numbed his maladies by robotically ingesting the painkiller Darvon during his playing days, was … Continue Reading Actually, I don’t hate to say I told ya so
When my older sister married her husband, families from opposite ends of the good fortune chain uncomfortably merged. His was born into old money; hers (mine) born in holes, equipped with shovels. … Continue Reading My sister’s rehearsal dinner
I’ve written before about the coffee table Bible and the prudish stripper, my two most ingenious fibs. Today I was reminded of two others. Roughly 12 years ago today my … Continue Reading Deceptions (best of)
I’ve been invited to a speak to a group of bloggers tonight during one of the Malcontent’s more pronounced lulls. Perhaps I’ll speak on selecting a new template, aka Redesigning … Continue Reading Miley Cyrus is SEO friendly
Andrew Sullivan asks, “When did you lose your Internet cherry?” My story: I was the first of my friends to purchase a PC, a massive Compaq that set me back … Continue Reading ‘Six-time local Emmy award-winning weatherman, bearish top, Boy Scout leader’
I’ve found myself in some strange places over the years, including: Kate Jackson‘s bed, minus Kate Jackson; An “old-fashioned cross burning” at the home of Howard Stern’s favorite Klansmen, Daniel … Continue Reading How did I end up here?
A certain nurse won’t like it, but my views on gay pride (here and here) no longer exist in a vacuum. Would gay pride parades be more effective if participants … Continue Reading Are gays catching on?
For someone who takes pride in his ability to mislead without malice, this essay was very reassuring (via Andrew Sullivan). “If you can lie, you can act,” Brando told Jod … Continue Reading Lies and the lying liar who tells them