‘ ‘Tis no man. ‘Tis a remorseless eating machine’

Paging Lionel Hutz:

THIENSVILLE, Wis. – A jumbo-sized restaurant customer is protesting after he was cut off from an all-you-can-eat fish fry near Milwaukee.

At 6 feet 6 inches and 350 pounds, Bill Wisth acknowledges he can pack away more fish than the average guy. But, Wisth wants Chuck’s Place in Thiensville to live up to its all-you-can-eat advertising.

After Wisth ate a dozen pieces of fish last Friday, a waitress refused to bring more. The restaurant says it was running out of fish and patience. They sent Wisth on his way with eight more pieces. Wisth called the village police. And he came back two days later with a picket sign.

Waitress Elizabeth Roeming says the restaurant has tried to work with Wisth over the years, even letting him run a tab that he hasn’t paid off.

Remind you of anyone?

The pizza and fries lobby strikes again

Congress blocked an Obama administration attempt to make school lunches healthier this week, adjusting proposed nutritional guidelines in a way that will keep pizza and french fries on the menu, The Washington Post reported on Wednesday.


Chick-fil-A may not like me, but I like Chick-fil-A

Chick-fil-A is the best fast food chain in America. Period. They’re efficient, courteous and consistent. I could care less about their CEO’s politics.

The Atlanta-based company has come under fire from gay rights groups for supplying food to an event sponsored by the Pennsylvania Family Institute, which has worked to defeat same-sex marriage initiatives. (I guess feeding religious fundamentalists crosses some sort of progressive line in the sand.)

Granted, Chick-fil-A is sympathetic to the Pennsylvania Family Institute’s cause, as is half the country. So what? Fast food chains neither shape or influence public opinion.

To those who want to boycott, fine. It’s not my time you’re wasting. But this kind of hyperbole (excerpted from an online petition against Chick-fil-A by students at Florida Gulf Coast University) will prove counterproductive:

“The Student Union is a place where all students should feel safe and welcome. By allowing a company with a history of bigotry and homophobia into our campus, we potentially allow FGCU to place monetary gain above the comfort and safety of the very students who are expected to frequent the Union Building,” say the group of students at FGCU.

‘Cause you never know when a Chick-fil-A manager might spork you in the eye for wearing a Margaret Cho T-shirt.

I’m curious as to where all this ends. Should I research the political leanings of the company that installed the drinking fountains where I work? I’d hate to think I was consuming anti-gay water.

Required viewing

Aasif Mandvi’s interview of the S.F. councilman behind that city’s Happy Meal ban is classic.


San Francisco bans toys from Happy Meals despite research that it’s the healthiest thing in the meal. Airdate – 01/03/11

three questions no one else is asking

Why is frusen the euphemism for the f-word in movies edited for TV? It doesn’t sound right coming out of Steve Buscemi’s mouth.

Whatever happened to Frusen Gladje?

And finally, what’s become of A.J. Benza?

Don’t feel compelled to answer — I just like posing pointlessly obscure questions.

mmmm, diversity gruel

In order to make their 2008 convention the “greenest ever,” the Democratic Party is banning fried foods. Seriously.

The Democratic guidelines say every meal should be nutritious and include “at least three of the following colors: red, green, yellow, purple/blue and white.”

“It’s the new patriotism,” says Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, the driving force behind the greening of the Democratic convention.

More like the new fascism. I’d like to shove a carbon footprint up Hickenlooper’s ass, then pour some leftover Fry Daddy grease down his throat.

Noted and quoted, VERY politically incorrect edition

"Rich bitch don’t wanna eat? Fuck ’em!"

–George Carlin, who has little tolerance for America’s monopoly on eating disorders.

Likewise, I feel no sympathy for Double Wide Spears; some overly sensitive types are upset that critics dared judge her physical appearance in their reviews of the pop star’s ill-fated comeback. Hell, she got off easy. They could’ve focused on her obvious lack of talent.

Spears, like many of her contemporaries, has nothing to offer save sex appeal. Now she’s lost that.

Live by the silicone, die by the trans fat. Seems fair to me.