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The Internet: Where everything is important

If Naomi Wolf’s vagina had its own website, it would read much like Salon — the homepage of progressive scolds who blog almost exclusively about phobias and “Girls.” Their dream headline would go something like this: “Why you should be concerned about Islamophobic critics of Lena Dunham.”

Salon likes to tell us what matters and why we should care, even if it doesn’t and we shouldn’t. Take this item about tossing salad, Brian Williams and … “Girls”:

In praise of “cool dads”: Why Brian Williams’ support of Allison’s “Girls” sex scene is important

If you were on the Internet at all this week, you know that. It was big news. So big it was as if the Golden Globes didn’t even happen. But — butt! — this rare — rear! — moment in TV history managed to spawn an even bigger news event than the fake butt-munching itself. Cue the headlines: “Brian Williams Watched Daughter Allison Williams in Raunchy Girls Sex Scene: Gross Details,” “Here’s How Allison Williams’ Dad Feels About That Butt-Eating Scene,” “Allison Williams and Her Dad Talk About That Time Her Butt Was Eaten on ‘Girls,’” “Brian Williams Reacts to His Daughter’s Anilingus Scene in Last Night’s Girls,” “Here’s How Allison Williams’ Dad Feels About That Butt-Eating Scene” and ”Allison Williams Motorbutted on Girls: How Did Brian Williams React?”

With great pride, of course.

He was supposed to cover his eyes and squirm in his seat and announce to the world how awful it was to have to see his daughter perform in a comedic sex scene. Instead, he announced to the world how proud he was of her. That’s what cool dads — that’s what good dads — do.

Every decision must be validated. Changing the subject, which I do whenever sex and relatives come up in the same sentence, is no longer enough.

It’s important that you understand that. Very important.

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