A quick aside: Ellen=Lesbian Billy Crystal
- Titanic. Give me “The Poseidon Adventure” any day.
- Shakespeare in Love. Unleashed Gwyneth Paltrow on an unsuspecting world.
- Gandhi. Tried to cover too much ground, a typical failing of biopics.
- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Heralded the geek takeover I long feared.
- Dances With Wolves. Beat out Goodfellas and made Kevin Costner a star. Costner’s follow-up: “Waterworld”
- Chariots of Fire. Vangelis’ theme was the most interesting thing about it.
- American Beauty. Over-the-top (particularly the usually reliable Annette Bening) and condescending.
- The English Patient. Saw it on a date. He liked it, I loathed it. There was no second date.
- Crash. Need I say more?
- Chicago. Helped usher in the musical revival that refuses to die. Saw it with my mother, who was ready to leave after 20 minutes. I’ve never been so proud of her.