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Rick Reilly plagiarizes tired old hack

Himself (via Deadspin):

2009 column:
If I won a U.S. Freaking Open, I’d go absolutely electroshock, three-alarm, bat-guano nuts!

2014 column:
My point is, if I’d just won $1.1 million zops in a PGA Goddang Tour event, forget about my first win in 239 tries, I’d go absolutely electro-shock, three-alarm, bat-guano nuts!

2009 column:

If I won the U.S. Open, I’d pick up the flagstick and fire it like a Tommy gun at the crowd.

2014 column:
I’d pick up the flagstick and fire it like a Tommy gun at the crowd.

2009 column:
When the guy in the blazer came out with the winner’s check, I’d snatch his toupee off and fling it like a Frisbee.

2014 column:
When the guy in the bad plaid jacket came out with the winner’s check, I’d snatch his toupee off and fling it like a Frisbee.

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