The Malcontent’s Most Annoying People, Places & Things of 2013: Celebrity lickspittles

If you have Sirius/XM, I dare you to listen to the Entertainment Weekly station. Odds are you will want to hurt someone after.

The hosts, who all work for the magazine, worship at the Church of Celebrity Adoration, eager to bask in the glow of the famous. Recently I heard the EW editor, a rather deplorable fellow named Jess Cagle (“like having Larry King run your magazine, without the old corpse smell,” according to Gawker) interview Joseph Gordon-Levitt about his movie, “Don John,” which looked to be a pretty lame ode to masturbation.

You could say the same thing about Cagle’s interview, in which he all but compares Gordon-Levitt to Orson Welles. I was impressed that the EW editor was able to talk with the former “3rd Rock” star’s dick in his mouth.

EW is not alone, of course. Huffington Post Entertainment’s tweets are seemingly pre-approved by celeb handlers:

Is Miley Cyrus “this generation’s Madonna”? http://t.co/BiYYEgMWIX

— HuffPostEnt (@HuffPostEnt) December 6, 2013

This mashup is so incredible http://t.co/n4V3ezKZox

— HuffPostEnt (@HuffPostEnt) December 6, 2013

And on it goes.

Selma Bouvier said it best, “You can’t spell obsequious without IOU.”