Trump this: Newt secures coveted Gallagher endorsement

Self-proclaimed comedian Gallagher announced Friday he is endorsing Newt Gingrich for president. Gallagher said the former speaker shares his concerns about America’s cultural drift. “Like me, he’s opposed to people naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!” Gingrich would re-open Guantánamo Bay except this time “we’ll be allowed to torture all the way,” Gallagher said. “We had to half-torture—that’s nothin’ compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did.” Defending traditional marriage is another of Gallagher’s concerns. “Newt knows like I do there’s two types…