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Sexual assault with a rogue Crayola

I was probably 5 or 6 when I received my first doctor’s kit but was disappointed with the thermometer. Always the resourceful tot, I turned to most trusted accessory.

No one got more use out of crayons. I used to mash up the gold, silver and bronze ones into a fine powder, passing  out portions of the waxy dust to girls I fancied. The gold dust went to the A-listers, silver to the B-listers, and so on. Most were fooled.

I was emboldened.

Now I trust everyone remembers the freezing jolt of the anal thermometer, a most peculiar rite of passage. A stickler for accuracy even as a child, I insisted on administering the Crayola thermometer rectally. My patients were the two little girls who lived on the same cul-de-sac. Fevers got a red crayon; otherwise, blue. Out if respect for Mother Earth, I recycled (but only for future temperature-taking).

Again, I was 6. The phrase “unwanted advance” meant nothing to me.

So why share this precious anecdote, ATLmalcontent?

WISC-TV, the CBS affiliate in Madison, reports that Grant County, Wisconsin, District Attorney Lisa Riniker, who charged a 6-year-old boy with first-degree sexual assault becaused he played doctor with a 5-year-old girl, has obtained a gag order that prohibits his parents, who have sued Riniker and two other county officials, from talking about the case. Iowa County Judge Bill Dyke issued the order last Monday, forcing the boy’s parents to cancel a planned interview with WISC. The station spoke instead with their lawyers, who are not covered by the order:

“That behavior by a prosecutor is outrageous,” said Christopher Cooper, an attorney for the boy’s parents. …

“She [Riniker] bypassed the parents and sent a 6-year-old boy a summons, on which is a threat that the 6-year-old will go to jail for failure to appear,” Cooper said.

The attorneys said they have sought the opinion of many experts who said that children “playing doctor” is not a sex crime.

I hope the 6-year-old destroyed his crayons before D.A. Lisa Riniker could dust for prints.

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