A review of a movie I’ll never watch

Now I know why a show I’ve never seen irritates me so much. Even blurb whore Peter Travers of Rolling Stone panned “Glee: The 3D Concert Movie.”

The movie plays like an evangelical prayer meeting, though I’d hold the hallelujahs. The characters … hit the stage like visiting royalty and with a nonstop perkiness that makes the Von Trapps look like manic-depressives.

The audience cheers wildly, no matter what. Even more problematic are the offstage interviews with fans whose lives have been changed by Glee. They include a gay teen, a dwarf cheerleader and a girl with Asperger’s.

This sounds even worse than the new Jennifer Lopez-Cameron Diaz pregnancy flick being filmed in Atlanta, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” I was expecting the most unwatchable movie ever made, but it sounds like Glee: 3D has it beat.

And yes, I saw Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula movie. The bold pronouncement stands.

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