Garth Brooks in, George Washington out of Texas textbooks

The new Texas textbooks have debuted and, thanks to the America deification crowd, history will now be viewed through a Palin-esque prism. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson or John Adams? They are nowhere to be found in the new high school TEKS. Students apparently learned everything they need to know about them in eighth grade. A Texas high school history teacher  points out that “both the positive and negative impacts of … country and western music” will be taught, along with the historical importance of Estée Lauder. If you think she is one of the 68 most important historical figures, you agree with…

The chick from ‘Just One of the Guys’ salutes lip-syncing Disney product

D-List drag queen Lady Gaga, looking suspiciously like Terry (“dresses like Elvis Costello, looks like the Karate Kid”) from the 1985 gender-bending classic “Just One of the Guys,” was the big winner of the MTV Awards last night. The prep school graduate also took time out to honor an legend, an “icon” who, according to Elvis Macchio, “taught us all how to be fearless.” Thank you, Britney Spears, for showing us the way. If not for your bravery, we would’ve missed out on another manufactured personality embraced by fame-hungry whores and gullible homosexuals.

EVERYTHING’s political when you’re a blindly partisan, race-obsessed buffoon

Rush Limbaugh said on his Monday show that President Obama was “hoping” that Hurricane Irene would be a “disaster.” Limbaugh firmly came down on the side of those who think that the media oversold the destructive power of Irene. He said that the storm was blown out of proportion to “push the leftist agenda,” and tied it to what he said was Obama’s desire to have a huge disaster.

Braves PR whizzes lost in another time warp

From the promotional geniuses who brought us “Gone with the Wind” night comes this latest embarrassment: The Atlanta Braves will host Girls Night Out on Friday, September 2, featuring a pre-game party, fashion show, makeovers, and a knight in shining armor. Ladies can enjoy free mini makeovers from professional makeup artist Brooke Lee Smith, receive hair consultations and touch ups from Spencer Malay Salon, and take pictures with their knight in shining armor, courtesy of Medieval Times during the pre-game Girls Night Out party. To be fair the the event goes to raise money for the Hudson Family Foundation, which assists children…

Bachmann open to slave labor

The Minnesota congresswoman told supporters at a packed sandwich shop that the corporate income tax needs to be reduced because companies are moving to other countries to save money. She was later asked by a reporter whether changes to the minimum wage should also be considered to balance the cost of labor here and overseas. “I’m not married to anything. I’m not saying that’s where I’m going to go,” she said. She did say she wants to look at all aspects of doing business, from regulations to tax codes, and will consider anything that will help create jobs. The federal minimum wage…

What do Usher, Sean Penn and Streisand have in common?

They are all shitty tippers — when they bother to tip. Usher apparently once left his autograph in lieu of a gratiuity. Barbra Streisand is mentioned again and again for being a cheap tipper as well as a rude and demanding customer. Glamorati says, “Doesn’t always tip.” Thefrisky.com notes that at a New York restaurant, Babs once “left a $10 tip for a $457 tab.” I was stiffed by Evander Holyfield back when I parked cars at the old Prince of Wales in Midtown. Some 15 years later I took great satisfaction in writing an article about the foreclosure of his south…

The devil’s right hand

Death penalty proponents should be especially troubled by Rick Perry’s reckless disregard for the truth. In 2004, there’s reason to believe Texas may have executed an innocent man when it put Cameron Todd Willingham to death. When Willingham was convicted, prosecutors relied heavily on an “expert” who testified on the origins of a fire that killed Willingham’s daughters, and said Willingham was responsible. The problem, we now know, is that the “expert” apparently didn’t know what he was talking about. But that’s only part of the story. As those familiar with the Willingham story likely remember, the Texas Forensic Science Commission, created…

Mitt Romney is a joke

Hours after being called “mushy on environmental issues” by a Republican senator, Mitt Romney has tweaked his position on global warming. Asked Wednesday at a Lebanon, N.H., town hall meeting whether he believed in global warming and if humans contribute to rising temperatures, Romney said he doesn’t know. “Do I think the world’s getting hotter? Yeah, I don’t know that but I think that it is,” Romney said, as reported by Reuters. “I don’t know if it’s mostly caused by humans.” “What I’m not willing to do is spend trillions of dollars on something I don’t know the answer to,” he added.…