Piers Morgan, insufferable twit

The celebrity navel-gazer claims to have never authorized phone hacking yet, by his own admission, is intimately acquainted with the practice.

“Stories soon emerged that the marriage was in trouble – at one stage I was played a tape of a message Paul had left for Heather on her mobile phone. It was heartbreaking. The couple had clearly had a tiff, Heather had fled to India, and Paul was pleading with her to come back. He sounded lonely, miserable and desperate, and even sang ‘We Can Work It Out’…”

What’s the difference between a dictator and a tea partier?

“Compromise is what’s led us to the mess we’re in right now. We can’t compromise our way out of this,” U.S. Rep. Tom Graves, R-Ranger, said in a Wednesday morning C-SPAN defense of his decision to oppose the Boehner plan.

And only I know the way out. Sounds like a dictatorial mindset to me.

Georgia’s stupidest doctor strikes again

Paul Broun, who repeatedly compared Obama to Hitler and says ignorant things every time he opens his mouth, stays true to form.

If Michele Bachmann was a man.

Cut, Cap and Balance also would have raised the debt ceiling, which is why Broun opposed it, his spokeswoman Meredith Griffanti said.

“He’s actually not going to vote for any bill that raises the debt ceiling,” she

Broun, in fact, introduced legislation to lower the debt ceiling.

What does it take to embarrass the voters of Athens, Evans, Augusta, Watkinsville, and Toccoa? They’ve sent Broun to Congress twice before and most likely will again in 2012.

Wealth does not equal talent

Adam Sandler and Taylor Lautner are two of Hollywood’s 10 highest paid stars. Jennifer Aniston and Tyler Perry also finished in the top 20.

Sandler’s next movie looks predictably awful, with a cast including Pacino in mugging mode, real-life Stepford wife Katie Holmes and the star of “Kazaam.”

Michele Bachmann is an unpleasant woman

(Re: Headline change. Trying not to sink to their level.)

Nine youth — most of them perceived or known to be gay or lesbian — in the congresswoman’s district have killed themselves within the last two years, while “many more” have attempted suicide, according to a disturbing account in Mother Jones.

Bachmann has been mum about the spate of untimely deaths, though five years ago she said this in opposition to anti-bullying legislation:

“I think for all us our experience in public schools is there have always been bullies, always have been, always will be. I just don’t know how we’re ever going to get to point of zero tolerance and what does it mean?…What will be our definition of bullying? Will it get to the point where we are completely stifling free speech and expression? … Will we be expecting boys to be girls?”

Bachmann spends a lot of time decrying the country’s moral decay, so she must be aware that bullying has gotten a lot worse than when Vinnie Barabarino threatened to stuff rubber hoses up noses.

No wonder her husband is afraid to come out.

Gaymos and Dandy return

Actually, that’s not fair. Amos and Andy were offensive caricatures, no doubt, but were not vain, shallow, materialistic, melodramatic, backstabbing gossips like the offensive caricatures on MTVGay’s “The A List.”

Yet the Petty Queer Establishment is silent. They must be busy searching for offensive language in the DVD release of a Ron Howard movie no one saw.

A movement hasn’t matured until it feels comfortable calling out its own. Ours remains sadly juvenile, just like the miserable bitches on Gaymos and Dandy. By the way, they’ve added a new cast member: a former pageant winner who describes herself as a “fierce diva.”

I guess she’s playing the mascot role filled by gays on the Real Housewives shows. I suppose we’re equal now.

The cult of conservative conspiracy theories

A recent Arbitron ratings report showed the ratings for Rusty Limbo and Helmethead dipped dramatically from the previous year.

The reason, according to an unnamed “industry leader” quoted by WingNutDaily: “Liberals,” working in consort with the Antichrist Administration, “are falsifying numbers … to kill talk radio.”

I thought that was the Fairness Doctrine’s job. It’s easy to confuse all the conspiracy theories coming from the right.

Streetcar skepticism

I understand the Atlanta streetcar is part of a broader transportation plan including the Beltline. Hopefully it all comes together. But I remain skeptical of the city’s promises, and its priorities.

The streetcar, which links Centennial Olympic Park to the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historic Site, is, like most everything else downtown, aimed at tourists. Remember when Shirley cracked down on panhandlers in the “tourist triangle?” Those who actually lived and worked downtown were left to fend for themselves in favor of conventioneers and SEC football fans.

PolitiFact recently debunked the claim a streetcar will create “more than 5,600 jobs over the next 20 years.” We’ll have to wait and see whether it revitalizes struggling downtown neighborhoods (though Edgewood is rebounding quite nicely without it).

That’s what they said when the new Olympic stadium was built. Fifteen years later, Summerhill is in worse shape than ever, though it does have a nice miniature golf course gathering dust, at taxpayer’s expense.

If only it was located in the tourist triangle.

Again, I hope I’m wrong. Unlike Fanplex, the streetcar project has some merit. How much remains to be seen.