The 10 Most Obnoxious Movies Ever, Part II

Like I wasn’t going to include Adam Sandler, Robin Williams and Michael Bay.

“Eight Crazy Nights” I didn’t see it. Some things you just know to be true.

“Magnolia” There’s no forgiving the atrocities visited upon the great Jason Robards in what would be his final film role. Imagine having to endure a weeping, badly overacting Scientologist warbling mournful Aimee Mann tunes as you lay dying.

“Patch Adams” No explanation necessary.

“Top Gun” A sequel is in the works. Can’t wait.

Anything directed by Michael Bay
Bonus pick: “To Wong Foo” Bea Arthur was a more convincing woman.
So what did I miss? Only THE most obnoxious movie ever:

The 10 Most Obnoxious Movies Ever, the bottom five

Featuring two Kevin Costner movies, two directed by Oliver Stone and a very annoying pregnant chick (order to be determined):

“Natural Born Killers” Woody Harrelson preens, Juliette Lewis lisps and Tommy Lee Jones picks his nose.

“Field of Dreams” A typhoon of melodramatic clichés that turned off even this ardent baseball fan. Why would a black man rhapsodize about the good old days, when baseball was segregated? And why was right-handed Ray Liotta cast as a Southern southpaw?

“Juno” Would’ve been tolerable, perhaps, had someone told Ellen Page to shut the fuck up.

“JFK” The sloppy history and unsubstantiated conspiracy theories are one thing. The meth-induced performances, another. But never, ever cast Kevin Costner as a Southerner.
“Vicki Cristina Barcelona” Pretty much everything wrong with 21st Century Woody Allen can be found in this pretentious pile of dogshit.
And I still have to make room for Adam Sandler, John Travolta and Michael Bay. Nominations welcomed.

He does it for us

God I loathe Kanye West:

Describing himself as a pop icon and “soldier for culture,” West told the crowd “there were times that I contemplated suicide.” However, he said, “I will not give up on life again.”

“There’s so many people that will never get the chance to have their voice heard” as loudly as his, West said Monday. “I do it for them.”

These people are fucking idiots

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

“Where in the Constitution is separation of church and state?” O’Donnell asked while Democrat Chris Coons, an attorney, sat a few feet away.

Coons responded that O’Donnell’s question “reveals her fundamental misunderstanding of what our Constitution is. … The First Amendment establishes a separation.”

She interrupted to say, “The First Amendment does? … So you’re telling me that the separation of church and state, the phrase ‘separation of church and state,’ is in the First Amendment?”

How does anyone take the fat piece of shit seriously?

“These pictures, they look demonic. And I don’t say this lightly,” Limbaugh said as he opened his program.

“There are a couple pictures, and the eyes, I’m not saying anything here, but just look,” he remarked about the president who has been campaigning for the re-election of fellow Democrats.

“It is strange that these pictures would be released … it’s very, very, very strange.”

“An American president has never had facial expressions like this,” Limbaugh said. “At least we’ve never seen photos of an American president with facial expressions like this.”

I refuse to vote for any party that looks to this demented slimeball as a mentor.

The ever-expanding acronym

First it was gay, then it became lesbian and gay, then lesbian, gay and bisexual, then lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered. Now add “questioning,” and “allied,” and you have the current balky, politically correct acronym: LGBTQA.

If you want to be part of the acronym, make up your mind. Questioning?!? Please. And were “allies” feeling left out? Who comes up with this garbage?

Sacre bleu hoo!

The average French worker receives a month of vacation time. Their work week can’t exceed 35 hours, by law.

Yet France is being held hostage by violent protesters opposed to a plan that would raise the retirement age from 60 to 62. Pardon me for sounding like a crotchety old man, but I say tase the spoiled brats.