the irrelevance of modern conservatism

I don’t root for it, by the way. I’d rather the right be relevant, but that won’t happen as long as its major influences are a callous, hypocritical blowhard, a messianic Mormon, an unrepentant nihilist and Sarah Palin.

By a wide margin, Americans consider Rush Limbaugh the nation’s most influential conservative voice.

Those are the results of a poll conducted by “60 Minutes” and Vanity Fair magazine and issued Sunday. The radio host was picked by 26 percent of those who responded, followed by Fox News Channel’s Glenn Beck at 11 percent. Actual politicians – former Vice President Dick Cheney and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin – were the choice of 10 percent each.


If I have my way this song will figure prominently within the script I’m currently co-writing.

INT. Dark, dank living room. John Milch Sr. and his son-in-law, Elton Bonner, watch television in silence. Probably because the volume on the TV is so loud — though not loud enough to overwhelm the din of Milch’s Pollenex air filter.

The camera zooms in on the oversized, 80s-era TV, showing a Craig Stadler (Milch Sr.’s favorite golfer) highlight package. Barry White’s “Love’s Theme” provides the soundtrack.

ELTON: “Ah, Barry White.”
JOHN MILCH: “Yeah, that’s right, a white guy.”

the future of facebook

Unnamed reprobate Just broke into this house at 2310 Cove Island Drive, looks good
6 hours ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Unnamed reprobate Ain’t shit here!
5:36 hours ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Unnamed reprobate Who doesn’t keep mustard in their kitchen? Can you put horseradish sauce on hot dogs?
5:28 hours ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Unnamed reprobate Bunch of blue lights outside. Wonder what’s going on?
5:21 hours ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike

sheldon greenbriar’s thanksgiving blurbomat

sheldon4What am I thankful for? So many things, not the least of which is this column. Those people who say dreams don’t come true must have unrealistic dreams. 

When I was little I wanted to be the next George Lazenby, but that goal was dashed when I started losing my hair at age 15. So I pursued a career behind the scenes instead, and thank Jehovah for that! I may not be a star, but I speak their language. I know how they tick. And, unlike those other Hollywood columnists, I’m not afraid to praise celebrities.   

This year alone I’ve interviewed such showbiz luminaries as Victoria Jackson, Phillip McKeon (who charmed a nation as Linda Lavin’s teenage son on “Alice”) and Johnny Depp’s Asian partner from “21 Jump Street”. Not bad for a Protestant kid with a Jewish name from Terre Haute. 

What else am I thankful for?

  • The enduring friendship of the great Meshach Taylor, who you no doubt remember as Anthony from “Designing Women”. Meshach is such a good friend; he’s the one who introduced me to Delta Burke and Gerald McRaney. Talk about Hollywood royalty! 
  • Jonathan Silverman. He’s conquered stage, cinema and television, equally adept at comedy and drama. His work in the “Weekend at Bernie’s” films signaled the emergence of a new comedic icon. I once compared him to a young Jack Lemmon, but I was wrong. He’s much more talented.  
  • Season 4 of “Gimme a Break!” You’ll remember that season marked the introduction of Julie’s husband Jonathan, played by, you guessed it, the sublime Jonathan Silverman. I’ve boycotted NBC ever since they canceled Jonathan’s groundbreaking show, “The Single Guy”.  
  • Feb. 21, 2003, the night I first saw Bonnie Franklin’s one-woman show. Someone give that woman another series! 
  • CompuServe, my gateway to the information superhighway. 
  • Robin Williams. No explanation necessary. 
  • The E! Network, for introducing me to those delightful Kardashian girls. I wish Bruce Jenner had been my dad!  

tough questions from greta van scientologist

She’s been a Palin groupie ever since her husband began advising the Alaska governor. Van Scientologist’s “interview” with Palin included this “question”:

When I have gone to these rallies when I was on the campaign trail, people are crazy about you. The enthusiasm is for you — and, of course, President Obama got an enormous enthusiasm at his crowds, too. But there are people, I do not know what to call it, but they love you.

a preview of the ksm trial

An irrational narcissist and proselytizing victim goes on a killing spree then represents himself in court — Colin Ferguson, meet KSM. The major difference, besides body count: The government was constitutionally bound to grant Ferguson, an American citizen, a trial by jury. It was ugly, but necessary.

I’ve yet to hear a sound argument for the ugly and unnecessary trial still to come.

is american foreign policy partly to blame for the fort hood massacre?

Progressive Realist Robert Wright’s absurd rationalization receives a well-deserved smackdown from Christopher Hitchens:

There isn’t a day goes by without the brutal slaughter of Muslims in both countries by al-Qaida or the Taliban. And that’s not just because most (though not all) civilians in both countries happen to be of the Islamic faith. The terrorists do not pause before deliberately blowing up the mosques and religious processions of those whose Muslim beliefs they deem insufficiently devout. Most of those now being tortured and raped and executed by the Islamic Republic of Iran are Muslim. All the women being scarred with acid and threatened with murder for the crime of going to school in Pakistan are Muslim. Many of those killed in London, Madrid, and New York were Muslim, and almost all the victims callously destroyed in similar atrocities in Istanbul, Cairo, Casablanca, and Algiers in the recent past were Muslim, too. It takes a true intellectual to survey this appalling picture and to say, as Wright does, that we invite attacks on our off-duty soldiers because “the hawkish war-on-terrorism strategy—a global anti-jihad that creates nonstop imagery of Americans killing Muslims—is so dubious.” Dubious? The only thing dubious here is his command of language. When did the U.S. Army ever do what the jihadists do every day: deliberately murder Muslim civilians and brag on video about the fact? For shame. The slippery slope—actually the slimy slope—is the one down which Wright is skidding.

enough with the obeisance

Being a stickler for manners and etiquette, I didn’t have a problem with President Obama bowing before the Japanese emperor. A tad obsequious, perhaps, but not out of line.

Having sad that (nod to the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” finale), I’m put off by the leader of the free world’s bow before the Chinese premier. This would be akin to bowing before Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi, though neither of them bear responsibility for the ongoing assault on human rights in China. Even the mere whiff of submission to the Chinese is offensive. Obama needs to cease with the symbolic pandering.

deconstructing palin

A reader on Andrew Sullivan’s blog nails her, so to speak:

Sarah Palin is the peppy cheerleader in high school all the boys thought was so sweet but the girls knew was really a vicious shrew. She’s the new girl in the office who wears tight shirts and three-inch heels, is super-friendly to her male superiors, ignores the other women, and gets promoted sooner than her more capable and hard working peers. She’s the outgoing PTA mom all of the other women are scared to cross because they will find themselves put on the worst committees. Only a woman knows how to give another woman a sweet smile and at the same time cut her down to size with an artfully crafted “compliment” without male observers having a clue about what just happened.

on race and the mayor’s race

It’s not that big of an issue. Yes, some whites are reflexively supporting Mary Norwood the same way some blacks are inherent Kasim Reed voters. But most Atlantans are backing the candidate they think best represents a change from the current path (unfortunately, I think both sides will be disappointed, but that’s another topic).

Those who contend that race bubbles under the surface of this campaign remind me of the moralistic Cassandras and their “slippery slope.” Both groups should be dismissed as opportunistic panderers wed to inflexible ideologies that ignore (or object to) progress.

The rebuttals are clear. Norwood received nearly 20 percent of the black vote in the general election despite an iffy presentation and the presence of two strong African-American candidates. Meanwhile, Reed has been endorsed by white editorialists at Creative Loafing and Sunday Paper.

For the record, I’m not one of those Caucasians who believes racism disappeared with the election of Barack Obama. It will ALWAYS be with us, and in some places it is and probably will remain a cultural hurdle. Fortunately, Atlanta is not Mississippi, where the Klan rallied today in objection to Ole Miss’ “controversial” decision to drop “Dixie” from a pep song.

I have little doubt most are, like me, conflicted about both candidates — and not because of race. Let’s not allow a dead horse to overwhelm the real issues facing Atlanta.