Month: June 2009

why is obama defending zelaya?

On principle, he asserts, but why say anything? The ousted Honduran president is allied with Chavez and Castro, and his departure should be quietly welcomed by the U.S. administration. Hell, Zelaya’s own political party wonders if he’s mentally fit to remain in office.

I understand opposing military coups. I don’t understand speaking out when one manages to overthrow a Marxist thug with autocratic impulses.

Just say nothing.

you can’t spell obsequious without IOU

Deep in the bowels of the Reagan White House, the future chief justice of the Supreme Court argued against co-opting the dignity of the office. It’s refreshing to see a public official stand up against corporate interests — seriously. Too bad we have to go back 25 years to find an example:

I hate to sound like one of Mr. Jackson’s records, constantly repeating the same refrain, but I recommend that we not approve this letter. Sometimes people need to be reminded of the obvious: whatever its status as a cultural phenomenon, the Jackson concert tour is a massive commercial undertaking. The tour will do quite well financially by coming to Washington, and there is no need for the President to applaud such enlightened self-interest. Frankly, I find the obsequious attitude of some members of the White House staff toward Mr. Jackson’s attendants, and the fawning posture they would have the President of the United States adopt, more than a little embarrassing.

Just a reminder: June 29 is Ashford and Simpson Day — despite John Roberts’ objection.

if only neda had been named oprah

Sorry, Iranian reformers, but we’ve moved on. Cap’n Crunch is dead, and we can only handle one big story at a time. And don’t bore us with arguments about relevance and freedom — we’ve lost the man who wrote “Childhood,” and we’ll never be the same.

Meanwhile … at least 17 people have been killed and another 100 injured by the fundamentalist establishment in Tehran. Bor-ing!

memo to future superstars: don’t try to look like diana ross, and don’t share a bed with macaulay culkin

A tragic, pathetic figure? Yes. A victim? No.

“He shouldn’t have died so young. It’s so sad. I’m just hysterical,” said Deborah Canton as she sobbed inconsolably near the late 50-year-old pop singer’s star.

Canton, 46, grew up in Jackson’s home state of Indiana and listened to him since he was a child star in the Jackson 5. She blamed society for treating him cruelly.

“The guy would never hurt a fly but all of these evil people would do everything to destroy him just to get his money,” she said. “I don’t think he wanted to live anymore.”

If only Corey Feldman had returned his phone calls.

he would’ve defeated global warming

For those who take Deepak Chopra seriously — what the hell is wrong with you? For those on the fence, here’s conclusive evidence that the motivational speaker/spiritualist is nothing more than a cheesy opportunist.

Writing on The Huffington Post, the US news and commentary website, Chopra said that Jackson had called him in an “upbeat, excited mood” on Tuesday.

“The voice message said, ‘I’ve got some really good news to share with you.’ He was writing a song about the environment, and he wanted me to help informally with the lyrics, as we had done several times before,” he said.

“When I tried to return his call, however, the number was disconnected. …

“So I never got to talk to him, and the music demo he sent me lies on my bedside table as a poignant symbol of an unfinished life.”

sign of the apocalypse du jour

A movie directed by Michael Bay sets a new box office record.

The vision:

Producer Don Murphy was planning a G.I. Joe film adaptation, but when the United States took part in the invasion of Iraq in March 2003, Hasbro suggested adapting the Transformers franchise instead. Tom DeSanto joined Murphy because he was a fan of the series.

The poetry:

“Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!”

The buzz:

Hasbro organized an enormous promotional campaign for the film, making deals with hundreds of companies. This advertising blitz included a viral marketing campaign, coordinated releases of prequel comic books, toys and books, as well as product placement deals with GM and eBay.

How bad is “Revenge of the Fallen”? Even Roger Ebert panned it; “a horrible experience of unbearable length.” Other reactions:

“Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!” (Bradshaw, Guardian); “Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!” (Tookey, Daily Mail); “A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!” (Edwards, Daily Mirror).

And yet Americans flock to it. Those who refuse to admit the idiocracy are bound to endure it — if only they knew what endure meant.

Revenge of the Arrested Adolescents
Revenge of the Arrested Adolescents