Just returned from a kibbutz with Charlotte Rae, though I wish she had told me physical labor was involved. Still, it was nice to catch up with Miss Charlotte, who’ll be playing Mrs. Robinson next week at the Akron Dinner Theatre’s production of “The Graduate” opposite Jeremy “Growing Pains” Miller. Share in the laughter, and the love.
Anyway, on to summer. Now I love sequels as much as the next person, but how come they never make the ones I want to see?
- “Three Men and a Grandbaby” Like you need an excuse to reunite Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and the great Steve Guttenberg! You all know how I feel about Steve, one of the most gifted actors of my lifetime and a victim of anti-Semitism if ever there was one. Shame on you, Hollywood. Shame.
- “Torch Song Trilogy 2” Talk about your role reversals! The great Harvey Fierstein (btw, he’s gay in real life) inherits the Anne Bancroft role as the elder scold trying to understand his straight son’s meshuggina romance with a Christian conservative. Oy!
- “Gigli 2” Bennifer may have bit the dust, but Marc Anthony and J-Lo are still going strong. Just put him in the Ben Affleck role and be done with it. “It’s turkey time.” “Gobble gobble!”
- “Wild Wild East” Starring Will Smith. Enough said!
- “Caddyshack III” I never cared for the original, due to the presence of Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield. They weren’t in the sequel, which was much improved, and now, fortunately, they’re dead, guaranteeing that a third “Caddyshack” would be better than the first.
- “Battlefield Teegeeack” L. Ron Hubbard is the Agatha Christie of our time. Keep ‘em coming, Ronnie!