sheldon greenbriar’s super summer sequels special

sheldonJust returned from a kibbutz with Charlotte Rae, though I wish she had told me physical labor was involved. Still, it was nice to catch up with Miss Charlotte, who’ll be playing Mrs. Robinson next week at the Akron Dinner Theatre’s production of “The Graduate” opposite Jeremy “Growing Pains” Miller. Share in the laughter, and the love.

Anyway, on to summer. Now I love sequels as much as the next person, but how come they never make the ones I want to see?

  • Three Men and a Grandbaby” Like you need an excuse to reunite Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and the great Steve Guttenberg! You all know how I feel about Steve, one of the most gifted actors of my lifetime and a victim of anti-Semitism if ever there was one. Shame on you, Hollywood. Shame.
  • Torch Song Trilogy 2” Talk about your role reversals! The great Harvey Fierstein (btw, he’s gay in real life) inherits the Anne Bancroft role as the elder scold trying to understand his straight son’s meshuggina romance with a Christian conservative. Oy!
  • Gigli 2” Bennifer may have bit the dust, but Marc Anthony and J-Lo are still going strong. Just put him in the Ben Affleck role and be done with it. “It’s turkey time.” “Gobble gobble!”
  • Wild Wild East” Starring Will Smith. Enough said!
  • Caddyshack III” I never cared for the original, due to the presence of Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield. They weren’t in the sequel, which was much improved, and now, fortunately, they’re dead, guaranteeing that a third “Caddyshack” would be better than the first.
  • Battlefield Teegeeack” L. Ron Hubbard is the Agatha Christie of our time. Keep ’em coming, Ronnie!

where else would one pageant contestant sub for another?

Miss California and Miss USA runner-up, Carrie Prejean, tossed around in the battle over gay marriage, will be a one-day guest host for Fox News Channel’s popular morning show Fox & Friends, Whispers learns. She will host the 6 a.m.-to-7 a.m. slot on May 27, filling in for Gretchen Carlson—the 1989 Miss America—who will be off that day.

a tbsw? summer flashback

“How dare you make fun of someone’s body size. I think Rosie’s beautiful just the way she is. It’s assholes like you who are responsible for people dying of anorexia and bulimia. Shame. Shame.” Then I told him how I had suffered from both anorexia and bulimia, at the same time. He said, “I doubt that’s possible,” which was really offensive. I got so upset I vomited my dinner on their picnic blanket and, because of that rude heterosexual, I didn’t even get to see Cyndi’s amazing version of “She Bop.”

(read complete post)

headline du jour

Palin backs, relates to, Miss California

“I respect Carrie for standing strong and staying true to herself, and for not letting those who disagree with her deny her protection under the nation’s First Amendment Rights,” Palin said.

“Our Constitution protects us all — not just those who agree with the far left.”

Far be it from me to correct Coach Palin, but Prejean’s First Amendment rights were never jeopardized. She can say whatever she wants, and the Miss USA pageant can award a crowd to whoever it chooses.

If Christian fundamentalists sponsored a beauty contest, would they honor a contestant who spoke out in favor of gay marriage? As a private entity, it would be their right not to, and same goes for Miss USA.

You’d think a conservative like Palin would understand that.

hate crimes vs. the constitution

James Madison, who initially introduced the First Amendment to the Constitution, had previously written to Thomas Jefferson on the passage of the Virginia Statute on Religious Freedom: “We have in this country extinguished forever … making laws for the human mind.” No American, he emphasized later, would be punished for his “thoughts.”

They will be if thought crimes legislation is enacted.