pummel your girlfriend, win an award

Nickelodeon says it has no plans to remove Chris Brown as a nominee for its annual Kids’ Choice Awards, despite the singer’s felony charges for allegedly beating up his girlfriend Rihanna. … Nick says Brown was nominated for his work as a performer, and kids will decide who wins. I hope he wins. Perhaps that’ll bring some attention to our society’s callous indifference towards battered women. Oprah is right: If a man hits you once, he will hit you again.

good news delivered here

Inspired by Christopher Buckley, here’s some headlines I’d like to see: Dustin Lance Black’s Oscar stolen “That’s what he gets for toting it around with him to the clubs,” says West Hollywood cop Adam Sandler deported to North Korea Kim Jong-Il agrees to give up nuclear ambitions in exchange for American “comedian” Newspapers stage dramatic recovery Taking a laptop into the bathroom isn’t practical, readers conclude Major studios in bidding war for “Tiny”  Screenwriter’s demand: “Pay me more than Dustin Lance Black!” I was Sean Hannity’s gay lover! Long Island teen tells all about radio yakker’s sordid sex life Economy stronger than…