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how to be someone who forms lists telling other people how they should behave

Ever wondered how to be a (male) feminist ally?

Apparently believing in equality isn’t enough. There are rules and standards (among the tips: Think before you speak. Like that works.)

I’ve got a list for you — How not to be a stereotypical humorless feminist.


Blogs, feminism




31 thoughts on “how to be someone who forms lists telling other people how they should behave Leave a comment

  1. A misanthrope who throws bombs anonymously from the safe confines behind his keyboard. I admire your courage and creativity. Bravo.

  2. So criticizing anyone on a blog is an anonymous attack? Interesting. I’m sure she’s never lodged any such “anonymous attacks.”

    Next time should I write my criticisms in a letter, and hand deliver it?

    Atlanta bloggers sure are a sensitive lot.

  3. A simple “How not to be a male ally” would be good. Perhaps a “How to go blundering in when you’ve not got a clue.” Or a “How to show all the empathy and understanding of a 14 year old boy”. I’d also be interested in a “How to misuse the word ‘list'”.
    And yeah, what Rusty said.

  4. So did she send an e-mail to all her friends telling them to come after me, like she did after Andy’s CL article?

    Is she above criticism?

    This is sure to get boring.

  5. Hmm, I don’t recall seeing your address on the email threads where she commanded her frothing, mindless horde of followers (who do everything she says without question) to mercilessly attack Andisheh’s journalistic masterpiece. I get all of those.

    Certainly we are incapable of concluding on our own that the bulk of Andisheh’s local reporting is horseshit, and rendered unable to respond with the appropriate level of vitriol if the command for the axe to fall was not issued.

  6. “A misanthrope who throws bombs anonymously from the safe confines behind his keyboard. I admire your courage and creativity. Bravo.”

    So you can PERSONALLY attack someone but I can’t? Typical weak ass bullshit from Atlanta’s blogging community.

    And your reporting experience would be what exactly?

  7. It’s a free county, issue all the verbal attacks you want. Just expect me to call you a coward when you do so anonymously. Because that’s what you are.

    And you’re trying to veer off topic if you want to make this about the “blogging community,” whatever that is. My comments pertain only to my low opinion of you (and Andisheh since you decided to drag him into it), and are not necessarily representative of anyone else’s. Not even Amber’s, difficult as that may be for you to believe.

    My reporting experience, or lack of, is irrelevant. I have a little, but if I were all that great at reporting I would still be doing it. I’m better at other things, so I do those things. Maybe Andisheh will find out what he’s good at one day. I wish him the best on that journey.

    What is relevant is I attach my name to my criticism (or bomb throwing/attacks if you want to call them that). You don’t.

  8. And you’re condemning verbal attacks while making your own? Your contradictions are breathtaking.

    See clip in post above, as there’s obviously no shot at intelligent discourse.

    I’ve taken shots from your GF before, too. I would think such a strong feminist could take what she dishes out. Maybe there’s a guidebook she can consult.

  9. WordPress has helpfully supplied a list of “possibly related posts” that was automatically generated.
    Among these are “Divorced from you, still married to your money”and “Researchers Identify Alzheimer’s Gene”.
    Be sure to vote in the primary tomorrow. If you don’t vote you can’t complain. Your citizenship in the nation of whiners is at stake.

  10. Please do read what I wrote if you’re going to respond to it.

    I condemned anonymous verbal attacks. I defy you to show me where I actually condemned attacks blanketly.

    A counter attack is usually a perfectly-justifiable act.

  11. Ol’ CB, you done gone and done it now, te he!

    (p.s. Andisheh, regarding the CL post, I didn’t mean that I would punch YOU in the mouth. Sorry.)

  12. I interpreted it as a figure of speech.

    But feel free to punch. My teeth will be cushioned by a mouthful of Atlanta’s inferior bagels and pizza.

  13. If Rhea cared about equality for women, she’d try to rally as many people as possible around that common goal. Instead, she wants is an exclusive club for which she is gate keeper.

    It amazes me is how many local bloggers, sit on their hands when she writes this nonsense. Talk about cowards.

  14. I don’t know her personally, but I am aware (through the blogosphere) that she doesn’t like to be challenged. She doesn’t hesitate to get personal, however, especially when journalists don’t give her the publicity she thinks she deserves.

  15. in all fairness, Amber was spinning off a post I wrote on male feminists, which I put out there for discussion, sort of by request actually. There are a few male feminists I really, really have an issue with, because in short, they are patronizing assholes. And in the last couple days, a lot of male feminist bloggers have taken a really shitty situation involving an asshat named Kyle Payne to make the whole thing “what about them”..which gets old.

    And yep, sure enough, Amber is a friend of mine, who has had my back when needed, and I respect that. Hell, I am pretty much persona nongrata in the feminist blogsphere, but that sure hasn’t kept her from treating me like a human being. I appreciate that sort of thing. I sort of get the impression she could care less what titles or words people claim for themselves, but she’s allowed to have an opinion on that, just like anyone else.

    She’s also a human being with thoughts and feelings, I tend to think she deserves to be treated like one.

  16. I could really care less. She hasn’t done anything to me, but she’s acted like a raving lunatic towards one of my friends, so I’m not inclined to feel sorry for her.

    No one said she isn’t allowed to have an opinion. I criticized the opinion. End of story.

    Bored yet?

  17. That’s the best you can do? Hell, no wonder you’re bored. If you could care less, you wouldn’t have posted on it in the first place. Raving lunatic eh? Got a mirror handy? Oh, and raving lunatic isn’t a critique of an opinion, its a personal attack. You weren’t on the debate team, were you?

    And you mention her friends coming over when this is about her acting in a manner towards your friend you didn’t like? Interesting.

  18. God, what is this? Mothers meeting? “there’s obviously no shot at intelligent discourse.” There really isn’t, just a very vaguely embarrassing attempt at you trying to outwit Rusty.

    You criticised her opinion? I think calling her humourless doesn’t really count as a terribly good criticism. I mean, in her post she failed to amuse you? Cos I don’t really think she was going for laughs.

    And “Hypersensitive, uninformed, irrelevent”, Gatekeeper? Doesn’t care about women? Shit, is this Amber Rhea we’re still talking about? I’ve been reading her since 2005 and your wee characterisation bears no resemblence to her.

    “Bored yet?” Are you kidding me? This is funny as fuck! Your post fails so you’re trying to engage in some kind of personality attack for…. why? Bit pointless. But funny. Oh, and if you’re that bored? Turn your comments off!

  19. Amber’s the one who turns comments off (when not threatening to ban dissenters). I’m happy to let you make a hysterical fool of yourself, though you might want to save it for the thesis.

  20. While it is nice to see that Amber’s friends and boyfriend are loyal and willing to fight for her honor (Peter Cetera-ish valor!), I can’t get past the fact that malcontent’s appraisal of her male feminist ally post is dead on. Read her post: it is preachy and expected, and most certainly not funny or even marginally aware of its Seriousness.

    It’s also hilarious to compare malcontent’s use of a few isolated characterizations to the vitriol that Amber et al. used in attacking Andy’s now-old Atlanta bloggers story in CL.

    Finally, Rusty, start publishing your work product every day and open it up for the type of criticism you level at Andy. As a former reporter, I love to criticize journalists and much as the next guy and I have plenty of issues with CL’s coverage of certain issues. But your nasty assessment of his work smells more like standing up for your ladyfriend than a considered opinion of Andy’s reporting.

    Anonymously yours,
    Mr. T

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