The petty queer establishment and its petty demands

A gay and lesbian advocacy group demanded an apology Wednesday from “Grey’s Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington for comments made following the Golden Globe Awards.

During a backstage interview Monday, Washington denied involvement in a heated on-set incident last year during which an anti-gay slur was reportedly uttered.

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“No, I did not call (co-star) T.R. (Knight) a faggot,” Washington told reporters. “Never happened, never happened.”

On Wednesday, Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, said he had contacted Washington’s representatives in hopes of meeting the actor to discuss “the destructive impact of these kinds of anti-gay slurs.”

“Washington’s repeated use of it on-set and in the media is simply inexcusable,” Giuliano said in a statement.

So if Washington ends up apologizing (and he should, but not because GLAAD told him to), would it be genuine, considering it was ordered? Aren’t apologies supposed to be heartfelt? If initiated by a third party, are they not baseless? It’s like your mother making you apologize for something when you were little.

And why is GLAAD interjecting itself into a pointless backstage brouhaha? I’m gay, and I’m not offended. Maybe because I don’t watch the show. Maybe because I don’t care what one B-list star says to another. Let them sort it out.

Frankly, I’m tired of these indignation councils. They serve no real purpose except to publicize what we already know, such as it’s wrong to call someone “faggot.” GLAAD should find a better way to spend its time and resources than simply pointing out the obvious, megaphone in tow.

Here’s my prediction: Washington will issue a scripted apology, vetted by the show’s producers, and agree to some sort of sensitivity training sanctioned by GLAAD, from which he’ll emerge more embittered than ever against homosexuals.

Another big government Republican

Sixty eight percent of Georgians want it, but the 32 percent who don’t have all the power. That would be the Bible thumpers, the most reliable constituency of the Republican Party these days. Ergo, Gov. H. Dumpty said he would veto any legislation that would allow Sunday beer and wine sales at grocery and convenience stores.

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“I don’t support that. I don’t know whether it will pass the Legislature or not, but it will have a pretty tough time getting the last vote.”

The “last vote” is Perdue‘s. If the House and Senate pass the bill allowing local voters to approve such sales, the governor can veto it.

“Think of it this way,” the governor added in the radio interview. “It really helps you plan ahead for the rest of your life — buying on Saturday, rather than Sunday. Time management.”

Perdue did not elaborate on why he does not support Sunday sales, and his aides declined to clarify the matter. A religious conservative who does not drink, Perdue has vetoed several alcohol bills in the past.

Georgia is one of three states that prohibit Sunday retail sales of alcohol. There’s a move to rescind that ban, but despite popular opinion the governor isn’t going to upset his base.

The issue pits grocery and convenience stores — which want the opportunity to sell beer and wine on Sundays — against some Christian conservatives and the liquor store industry. Christian conservative opponents argue that the Sabbath should remain free of beer and wine sales.

Then don’t drink. And don’t ask those of us who aren’t Christian conservatives to follow your beliefs. Whether its the left’s war on cigarettes and trans fat or the right’s opposition to booze, the nanny state knows no ideology.

Poultry sex

Always glad to give my hometown some pub (via Gloria Brame):

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Once upon a time, there was a quaint little community known as Gainesville, Georgia. It was filled with lots and lots of poultry farms, and prided itself on being “the chicken capital of America!” Some major poultry processing plants operate out of Gainesville, and employ lots of good, honest, hard-working bubbas who pluck and clean and prepare those chickens for our dinner tables.

But one day, the managers at one of the biggest plants made a shocking discovery. Some of the naughty boys working on the chicken assembly line were “having their way” with the poultry. Apparently the workers believed that since the chickens were going to die ANYWAY, and be all cut up, nobody would ever notice!

And so, for a time, many a foul fowl was being processed alongside pure, virgin birds.

But thankfully the shame was exposed and the workers who’d been enjoying their chickens uncooked were arrested. There was only one problem: neither the quaint town of Gainesville nor the bubba-headed state of Georgia had any laws under which the miscreants could be convicted for this crime against nature. They could only get them on misdemeanors involving health ordinances.

So, in their infinite wisdom, the same political system that brought you Newt Gingrich and Bob Barr, enacted new legislation to make sure that the next time some bubbas decided to go chicken-fuckin’ on an assembly line, they could charge them with that crime. Explicitly.

And that is how the state of Georgia came to have a law against doing the deed with cluckers who eat seed.

Finally, legislation that makes sense.

CEOs on crack

Richard D. Parsons, chairman and chief executive of Time Warner, owns a small vineyard in Tuscany that produces a Brunello di Montalcino selling for $80 a bottle, adorned with a crest of the Parsons family.

Twice a year, he boards one of his company’s four jets to visit his 20 acres in Italy. When he does, Time Warner shareholders pick up the bill.

So do shareholders of General Electric when Robert C. Wright, a vice chairman, flies to his vacation home in Palm Beach, Fla., and Bank of America shareholders when Charles K. Gifford, the chairman emeritus, flies among his homes in Boston; Nantucket, Mass.; and Key Largo, Fla.

Chief executives’ salaries have risen sharply. On top of that, new government data show, shareholders are paying more for executives’ personal travel on corporate jets, long criticized as a symbol of excess.

Because the value of a trip counts as personal income for the executives, some companies are even paying the executives’ taxes on trips. Others are agreeing to provide leisure travel for retirees, like Sanford I. Weill, who just departed Citigroup as chairman. Edward E. Whitacre Jr. will travel on the corporate plane once his contract is up as chief executive of AT&T, as will Peter F. Chernin after his tenure as president of the News Corporation.

Taking the corporate jet is variously described as a necessity for time-pressed executives and politicians, a luxury for the elite, a security precaution, or an addiction, depending on who is talking.

“One chief executive told me, ‘You can fool around with my stock options all you want, but don’t fool around with my airplane,’ ” recalled Richard H. Moore, treasurer of the state of North Carolina, who oversees $72 billion in investments. “You can compare it to crack cocaine. Once they get used to having the plane there waiting for them, they don’t want to go back.”

Meanwhile, Time Warner is set to fire as many 250 employees in a cost-cutting move. Guess Parsons couldn’t spare any jaunts to Italy.

On rehab and product placement

While news that Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab matters not, I got a kick out of the way it was reported by the soulless entertainment media:Lohan_2

Us Weekly reported on its Web site that Lohan arrived at the Wonderland Center in L.A.’s Laurel Canyon yesterday at 2:30 p.m. wearing black tights and a leather jacket. She was spotted getting out of an SUV and entering the facility carrying a Balenciaga bag and Jamba Juice.

Gotta please the advertisers. And one must enter rehab in style.

According to the facility’s Web site, the Wonderland Center is a “residential treatment and detoxification facility providing services for alcohol, substance abuse and relapse-prevention programs.”

“We provide first-class food service and accommodations. Secure and gated on a private estate, the Center has two swimming pools and three acres of sitting and walking areas,” the Web site says.

I’m an author, she’s an author, he’s an author, we’re an author, wouldn’t you like to be an author too?

Lancebasspartner_325So appearing on a reality show not many people watched and dating a D-list former boy bander qualifies one to write a book? Apparently so: Reichen Lehmkuhl will be signing copies of his tome Friday at Atlanta’s Outwrite Books. Some are calling it the cultural event of the half hour in Midtown.

I’ll pass.

Noted and quoted, Hollywood bashing edition

Excerpted from a very funny dispatch by L.A. Times columnist Joel Stein: Victoriadavid

Every day that Posh and Becks lived in London was an insult to our city, a dangerous argument that you could be an international celebrity and act totally L.A. but live somewhere else. But the Beckhams eventually figured out that the only way to make sure that magazines take photos of them every single day is to fight it out here, in the premier league of celebrity. The Beckhams moving here is like Princeton getting Einstein, if Einstein were really attractive and not so good at physics. So really, much better than getting Einstein.

We’ve already missed out on a decade’s worth of Beckham embarrassments that could have been ours: David getting a tattoo of Victoria’s name misspelled in Hindi; Posh’s feud with Naomi Campbell; David’s fauxhawk; Posh writing a book called “That Extra Half an Inch: Hair, Heels and Everything in Between.” Now all that will be ours. We’re going to get to watch David Beckham — who will soon be as bored with soccer as we are — embark, inevitably, on a humiliating movie career. I’m already working on a script for “Kazaam 2.”

The petty queer establishment and its petty demands

A gay and lesbian advocacy group demanded an apology Wednesday from “Grey’s Anatomy” co-star Isaiah Washington for comments made following the Golden Globe Awards.

During a backstage interview Monday, Washington denied involvement in a heated on-set incident last year during which an anti-gay slur was reportedly uttered.Isaiahwashington_200x261

“No, I did not call (co-star) T.R. (Knight) a faggot,” Washington told reporters. “Never happened, never happened.”

On Wednesday, Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, said he had contacted Washington’s representatives in hopes of meeting the actor to discuss “the destructive impact of these kinds of anti-gay slurs.”

“Washington’s repeated use of it on-set and in the media is simply inexcusable,” Giuliano said in a statement.

So if Washington ends up apologizing (and he should, but not because GLAAD told him to), would it be genuine, considering it was ordered? Aren’t apologies supposed to be heartfelt? If initiated by a third party, are they not baseless? It’s like your mother making you apologize for something when you were little.

And why is GLAAD interjecting itself into a pointless backstage brouhaha? I’m gay, and I’m not offended. Maybe because I don’t watch the show. Maybe because I don’t care what one B-list star says to another. Let them sort it out.

Frankly, I’m tired of these indignation councils. They serve no real purpose except to publicize what we already know, such as it’s wrong to call someone “faggot.” GLAAD should find a better way to spend its time and resources than simply pointing out the obvious, megaphone in tow.

Here’s my prediction: Washington will issue a scripted apology, vetted by the show’s producers, and agree to some sort of sensitivity training sanctioned by GLAAD, from which he’ll emerge more embittered than ever against homosexuals.

Another big government Republican

Sixty eight percent of Georgians want it, but the 32 percent who don’t have all the power. That would be the Bible thumpers, the most reliable constituency of the Republican Party these days. Ergo, Gov. H. Dumpty said he would veto any legislation that would allow Sunday beer and wine sales at grocery and convenience stores. Georgia_governor_sonny_perdue

“I don’t support that. I don’t know whether it will pass the Legislature or not, but it will have a pretty tough time getting the last vote.”

The “last vote” is Perdue‘s. If the House and Senate pass the bill allowing local voters to approve such sales, the governor can veto it.

“Think of it this way,” the governor added in the radio interview. “It really helps you plan ahead for the rest of your life — buying on Saturday, rather than Sunday. Time management.”

Perdue did not elaborate on why he does not support Sunday sales, and his aides declined to clarify the matter. A religious conservative who does not drink, Perdue has vetoed several alcohol bills in the past.

Georgia is one of three states that prohibit Sunday retail sales of alcohol. There’s a move to rescind that ban, but despite popular opinion the governor isn’t going to upset his base.

The issue pits grocery and convenience stores — which want the opportunity to sell beer and wine on Sundays — against some Christian conservatives and the liquor store industry. Christian conservative opponents argue that the Sabbath should remain free of beer and wine sales.

Then don’t drink. And don’t ask those of us who aren’t Christian conservatives to follow your beliefs. Whether its the left’s war on cigarettes and trans fat or the right’s opposition to booze, the nanny state knows no ideology.

Poultry sex

Always glad to give my hometown some pub (via Gloria Brame):Chickens02

Once upon a time, there was a quaint little community known as Gainesville, Georgia. It was filled with lots and lots of poultry farms, and prided itself on being “the chicken capital of America!” Some major poultry processing plants operate out of Gainesville, and employ lots of good, honest, hard-working bubbas who pluck and clean and prepare those chickens for our dinner tables.

But one day, the managers at one of the biggest plants made a shocking discovery. Some of the naughty boys working on the chicken assembly line were “having their way” with the poultry. Apparently the workers believed that since the chickens were going to die ANYWAY, and be all cut up, nobody would ever notice!

And so, for a time, many a foul fowl was being processed alongside pure, virgin birds.

But thankfully the shame was exposed and the workers who’d been enjoying their chickens uncooked were arrested. There was only one problem: neither the quaint town of Gainesville nor the bubba-headed state of Georgia had any laws under which the miscreants could be convicted for this crime against nature. They could only get them on misdemeanors involving health ordinances.

So, in their infinite wisdom, the same political system that brought you Newt Gingrich and Bob Barr, enacted new legislation to make sure that the next time some bubbas decided to go chicken-fuckin’ on an assembly line, they could charge them with that crime. Explicitly.

And that is how the state of Georgia came to have a law against doing the deed with cluckers who eat seed.

Finally, legislation that makes sense.

CEOs on crack

Richard D. Parsons, chairman and chief executive of Time Warner, owns a small vineyard in Tuscany that produces a Brunello di Montalcino selling for $80 a bottle, adorned with a crest of the Parsons family.

Twice a year, he boards one of his company’s four jets to visit his 20 acres in Italy. When he does, Time Warner shareholders pick up the bill.

So do shareholders of General Electric when Robert C. Wright, a vice chairman, flies to his vacation home in Palm Beach, Fla., and Bank of America shareholders when Charles K. Gifford, the chairman emeritus, flies among his homes in Boston; Nantucket, Mass.; and Key Largo, Fla.

Chief executives’ salaries have risen sharply. On top of that, new government data show, shareholders are paying more for executives’ personal travel on corporate jets, long criticized as a symbol of excess.

Because the value of a trip counts as personal income for the executives, some companies are even paying the executives’ taxes on trips. Others are agreeing to provide leisure travel for retirees, like Sanford I. Weill, who just departed Citigroup as chairman. Edward E. Whitacre Jr. will travel on the corporate plane once his contract is up as chief executive of AT&T, as will Peter F. Chernin after his tenure as president of the News Corporation.

Taking the corporate jet is variously described as a necessity for time-pressed executives and politicians, a luxury for the elite, a security precaution, or an addiction, depending on who is talking.

“One chief executive told me, ‘You can fool around with my stock options all you want, but don’t fool around with my airplane,’ ” recalled Richard H. Moore, treasurer of the state of North Carolina, who oversees $72 billion in investments. “You can compare it to crack cocaine. Once they get used to having the plane there waiting for them, they don’t want to go back.”

Meanwhile, Time Warner is set to fire as many 250 employees in a cost-cutting move. Guess Parsons couldn’t spare any jaunts to Italy.

“We want to do away with the manmade laws”

Watch this undercover examination of some alleged mainstream mosques in the UK (in six parts).

We should not tolerate this madness, even if it doesn’t represent a majority of Muslims. And more of them need to speak out against it. Fanaticism must be countered, not understood and coddled.

Man cannot live on bread and milk alone

Surely I’m not the first to wonder about this, but why the rush on bread and milk before a pending winter storm (in Atlanta, that means a light dusting of snow, enough to shut the schools down for a week)?

What does one do with bread and milk? Dip it? And what about those of us on a carb-free diet? Guess I’ll be stocking up on cheese and meat.