“A friend of mine had seen a TV report and e-mailed me, ‘I’m so sorry. I just heard your father died.’ And I was just in total shock.”
—Tori Spelling, who goes on to prove she’s the spoiled-est of brats in an interview with Us Weekly. “My first thought was, I can’t believe my mom didn’t call me!”
Not: “Oh God, my dad’s dead?” You know, the person 99 percent repsonsible (her fake breasts account for the remaining one percent) for your career!?!
(Perhaps I should’ve issued a self-loathing alert, since Tori has lately catapulted into gay icon status. As usual, I wasn’t consulted.)