Apparently one can get addicted to poppers. Fortunately our Dish ‘n ‘Dat columnist has good friends like Rex Reed who intervened.
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Tag Archives: the blurbomat
Dish ‘n ‘Dat du jour
@shelgreenbriar Sheldon GreenbriarA sad day commemorating the 24th anniversary of actor Lorne Greene’s death. We’ll never forget you, Lorne.
The best of Dragon*Con Dish ‘n ‘Dat
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* Asked @LouFerrigno if Arnold @Schwarzenegger ‘s success ever made him ‘green’ with envy. #DragonCon
*@ErinGray sees little chance of a ‘Silver Spoons’ reunion. I suggested #SilverSpoons:TheNextGeneration” #dragoncon bit.ly/EJfax
* Asked @ErnestBorgnine if it was intimidating acting alongside Jan-Michael Vincent #Airwolf. He claimed not to u’stand the q. #DragonCon
* I can’t believe I’m the only one to ask @CarrieFisher about her bravura turn in the 1984 classic “Garbo Talks” #DragonCon
* What’s with all the geeks? #DragonCon
Dragon*Con Dish ‘n ‘Dat
The Malcontent’s entertainment correspondent, Sheldon Greenbriar, is on the scene at Dragon*Con asking the tough questions. Follow his updates through the weekend on Twitter.
shelgreenbriarSheldon Greenbriar
Asked @ErnestBorgnine if it was intimidating acting alongside Jan-Michael Vincent #Airwolf. He claimed not to u’stand the q. #DragonCon
I can’t believe I’m the only one to ask @CarrieFisher about her bravura turn in the 1984 classic “Garbo Talks” #DragonCon
Martin Landau seemed upset when I asked him what he’d been doing since “Space: 1999″ #DragonCon
Sheldon at Dragon Con
He’ll be filing reports all weekend long, including a much-anticipated exclusive interview with Sybil Danning.
Sheldon returns
@shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Oscar Dish ‘n ‘Dat
Sheldon was on a roll last night:
shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
The closing song should’ve been performed by the cast of Glee, with a cameo by Betty White.
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
#BestActor winner Colin Farrell has really aged. #Oscars
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Why no Lifetime Achievement award for Joel Schumacher? http://imdb.to/93emB
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Where’s Yahoo Serious when we need him? http://bit.ly/15cpn
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Is Anne Hathaway any relation to the delightful Miss Jane Hathaway? http://bit.ly/gSPHQc
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
30 years ago Jeff Goldblum and Judy Tenuta conceived the future Oscar winner for best short. #Oscars
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
I nominate Shields and Yarnell to host next year’s Oscars. http://bit.ly/c09o8N
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
I can’t believe Oscar celebrates a bigot like Randy Newman, who wrote that despicable song “Short People.”
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
I think James Franco meant to introduce Jack Palance. http://bit.ly/17wpE4
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Bruce Vilanch’s chocolate-stained fingerprints are all over this Oscar telecast.
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
My sources tell me Charles Nelson Reilly is already drunk at Dixie Carter’s Oscar party in heaven.
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
Russell Brand? More like Russell No-Name. Nipsey Russell would’ve been a better choice. http://bit.ly/1DSeL9
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
IMO, Christian Bale was more deserving for “Newsies.”
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shelgreenbriar Sheldon Greenbriar
She’ll always be Reese Phillippe to me.
Sheldon Greenbriar live blogs the Oscars
Sheldon has agreed to put aside his feud with Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch and live blog the remainder of the telecast via Twitter.
Follow Sheldon on Twitter
Who did what to whom at Rip Taylor’s annual tea party? Hollywood insider Sheldon Greenbriar knows.
Sheldon Greenbriar’s Dish ‘n ‘Dat
I understand the ‘Fast’ part, but why so ‘Furious’?- Speaking of, I suspect Vin Diesel isn’t Vin Diesel’s real name. Don’t tell him I said that.
- How come people ask ‘whatever happened to Tony Orlando’ but never ‘whatever happened to Dawn’?
- Something tells me this is going to be Gavin MacLeod’s year.
- Sunshine from Moultrie writes, “Sheldon, did you ever have the acting bug?” Well, Sunshine — if that’s your real name — I did have the acting bug but that Pluto costume can get awfully hot.
- I’m convinced I was Shirley Booth, TV’s “Hazel,” in a past life. Or is it just coincidence that my boss is named Mr. B?
- Two words for Oscar voters: “Little Fockers.” I predict the third time’s the charm for Ben Stiller.
- Margaret Cho is Japanese for Funny Lady.
Larry King, the original blurbomat
My Two Cents
A Poem by Larry King
(Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil)
July 4, 1994
Dick Van Dyke is the most enduring of television superstars.
Burt Reynolds improves the screen by being on it.
Kris Kristofferson never fails to move me.
Tommy Lasorda’s pasta sauce is very, very good.
I get a good feeling when I see a police officer on a horse.
I’ve never been a big fan of daylight savings time.
I never get tired of listening to Canada’s national anthem.
I wonder what I’ll find if I ever get around to cleaning out my glove
compartment.
I always feel 100 percent better after a really good manicure.
How can people eat huge meals when it’s hot outside?
Chinese food tastes better Sunday nights.
Doesn’t pink grapefruit taste better than yellow standard grapefruit?
I will not return to a restaurant that doesn’t have skim milk at all times.
Jell-O is still one of the all-time great desserts.
If the first call of the day is a good one, then all of them usually are.
Parking violations officers who enjoy their jobs are sadists.
You want a clean city, my friend, you want Salt Lake City, Utah.
The designs of the new ties are better than ever.
The dumbest of all human attitudes is racial prejudice.
Milk cartons are not easy to open.
Is there a better feeling than having to sneeze and then sneezing?
Don’t you believe Kermit and Miss Piggy are real?
Do you think you could explain satellite dishes to Thomas Jefferson?
Do men still wear pinky rings?
How do women choose among all the lipsticks available to them?
How do you celebrate flag day?
Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil write for MTV’s “Beavis and Butt-head.” This poem was culled entirely from Larry King’s column in USA Today.
Pointless year in review presents … Sheldon 2010
The best from a year of the Blurbomat:
- Is Kristy McNichol the Greta Garbo of tomboy child actresses?
- For years I thought Elton John and Olivia Newton-John were married, but of course that’s impossible since he’s British and she’s Australian.
- Just finished Paul Reiser’s “Couplehood” — it was every bit as delightful the fourth time. Next up: “The Bridges of Madison County.”
- How come Angela Lansbury never had sex on ‘Murder She Wrote?’ She was rich, attractive and always seemed to be going up in a hot air balloon.
- Bring back “Becker” — stat!
- Whenever I face a tough decision I ask myself, “What would Mike Farrell do?”
- I was skeptical, but “Step Up: 3D” is the best of the Step Up trilogy.
- Tyler Perry should remake “Patch Adams” with an African-American cast. “Patches Adams,” starring Will Smith — a blockbuster w/ heart.
- Is there an accent Kevin Costner hasn’t mastered?
- Why do so many “That’s Incredible!” fans refuse to recognize “Real People,” and vice-versa? I loved ‘em both.
- Words of wisdom from my good friend, Kenny Loggins: “I am not free if my freedom is predicated on reacting to my past.”
- The only tea party I care about is the one held at Rip Taylor‘s house each April.
- What if “Kate and Allie” had met “My Two Dads?
- Enough with these ridiculous rumors about John Travolta’s sexuality. I know for a fact that he couldn’t keep his hands off Dame Edna.
- I’m told Pat O’Brien is drinking again. You didn’t hear it from me.
- I wish I could meet the Fockers every holiday season. Finally, a role worthy of Robert DeNiro’s talents.
Sheldon Greenbriar’s Holiday Blurbomat (bonus edition)
Some fresh dish ‘n ‘dat, my Winter Solstice gift to you:
- Billy Zabka is nothing like the preppy villains he portrayed on-screen. A true gentleman, just like the late C. Thomas Howell.
- Can someone explain to me why Matt LeBlanc is not a movie star?
- I’m pitching a new reality show: Sheldon Greenbriar’s Burbank. Thanks for the inspiration, Gov. Palin.
- Speaking of inspiring, Paula Poundstone‘s new one-woman show will make you laugh, cry and think.
- I’m told Pat O’Brien is drinking again. You didn’t hear that from me.
- I wish I could meet the Fockers every holiday season. Finally, a role worthy of Robert DeNiro’s talents.
- My sources tell me Michael McDonald is busy recording a CD of prog rock covers. Can’t wait.
- A challenge for Mr. Buggles. If video killed the radio star, what killed the video star? I suspect the information superhighway.
Well, I best return to my banana flambe. Merry X-mas, and to my Jewish friends, Happy Kwanzaa!
Sheldon Greenbriar’s Holiday Blurbomat
It is the season for giving, after all, and have I got a worthy cause for you. It’s my campaign to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for legendary actress Jenilee Harrison. I know, it’s incomprehensible that she doesn’t already have one. After all, she not only replaced Suzanne Somers on “Three’s Company” but also played a Ewing on “Dallas.” She’s doubly iconic and doubly deserving of this great honor.
I’m in the process of wining and dining the distinguished panel of hangers-on who choose the Walk of Fame stars and could use some financial aid. Lunch at IHOP won’t do the trick.
Now, on to some fresh dish ‘n ‘dat:
- My verdict is in on one of pop culture’s hottest debates: Blur or Oasis? I’m going with Oasis. They’ve had more hits, and everyone knows the popular acts are the better ones. Those Gallagher brothers got me thinking of another pair of feuding Gallagher brothers. Let’s hope the comedic Gallaghers have settled their dispute over a nice holiday watermelon. I wonder if they’re all related?
- Memo to Hollywood: We’ve had 3-D movies since I was a kid. Give us something new and exciting, like a Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez on-screen reunion. Or 4-D.
- There are not enough superlatives for me to accurately describe how much I loved “Burlesque.” Better get working on that Oscar speech, Cher! The movie seems to be doing really well with guys; the crowd was at least 90 percent men at the screening I attended in West Hollywood, or, as I like to call it, WeHo.
- Everyone wants to know the latest on Charlie Sheen but I’m more interested in whatever happened to Ramon Estevez, who wowed audiences with his performance in the wonderful 1980s film, “That Was Then … This Is Now.” The fact that the movie was ALMOST as good as the book speaks volumes.
- I get choked up every time I hear Kenny Loggins’ Christmas classic, “Please Celebrate Me Home.”
That’s all for this time. Please say a prayer for Jenilee Harrison this holiday season.
Sheldon Greenbriar’s Blurbomat
Time for some fresh dish ‘n ‘dat:
- I love “Family Circus” and wouldn’t change a thing about it. But aren’t you curious how Billy, Dolly and Jeffy turned out as adults? Fine, upstanding citizens, I bet.
- The only tea party I care about is the one held at Rip Taylor‘s house each April.
- What if “Kate and Allie” had met “My Two Dads?
- Enough with these ridiculous rumors about John Travolta’s sexuality. I know for a fact that he couldn’t keep his hands off Dame Edna.
- I wonder if Michael Gross, Steven Keaton from “Family Ties,” feels responsible for turning Meredith Baxter Birney gay? (I guess Kate had another secret.)
Time for a peek into the Blurbomat’s mailbag. Duane from Decatur writes,
“Sheldon, loves me some Blurbomat. Can you tell me why there hasn’t been a sequel made of my favorite movie ever, ‘To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar‘? I suspect homophobia is to blame. I’m right, aren’t I? Stay fierce!”
You’v
e got great taste, Duane. I, too, love “To Wong Foo.” My sources tell me that Patrick Swayze is holding out for a script as good as the first one.
That’s all for this time, gang. Gotta get ready for Steve Guttenberg’s annual Halloween party. I’m no Charles Nelson Reilly, but my mayor of Lidsville costume is pretty darn fierce!
Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and remember to be nice!
