What took her so long?

If you said 7 you win the “How Long Before Gloria Allred Capitalizes on the Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Scandal” contest.

That’s not to say Allred’s client, who will speak out today on alleged sexual harassment at the hands of Cain, isn’t telling the truth. I’m just pointing out that her lawyer has been involved in scandals involving Michael Jackson, O.J. Simpson and Charlie Sheen and every D-Lister in between.

Hot 4 Uncle Sam

From the classic South Park episode, “Christian Rock Hard”:

Executive: We just have one question, though. We were looking over some of your lyrics. (reads lyrics) I want to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus on a private beach for two. I want him to nibble on my ear and say “I’m here for you”. It seems you really love Christ.
Cartman: Yes, we sure do.
Executive: No, but it appears you are actually in love with Christ.
Cartman: Well what are you saying? That, that you don’t really love Christ?
Executive: Well of course I do. I mean I just -
Cartman: Well what’s the difference? You love Christ, you’re in love with Christ, I mean, uh, what the heck is this?

I was reminded of that exchange after viewing the singing of the National Anthem at last night’s GOP debate.


Not all fundamentalists are the same

HuffPoster Diana Butler Bass, writing about the “South Park” imbroglio, ably disproves her point.

I can’t and won’t defend the Revolutionmuslim website. But violence against those who depict the Divine is not just an Islamic problem. It is worth pointing out that Christianity has a long history of violence against visual depictions of Jesus, the saints, and God. In 1987, Serrano’s Piss Christ provoked death threats and violence from Christian fundamentalists and conservative Catholics across the U.S. and Europe and caused political outrage on two continents. In the 19th century, American Catholics were regularly targeted by Protestant mobs for “worshiping” statues while Protestant ministers lost their positions if they placed visual depictions of the crucifixion, Mary, or the saints in their churches. Two hundred years before that, Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan army smashed religious artwork in English parish churches. During the 16th century Protestant Reformation, followers of Luther and Calvin looted cathedrals and convents carting off valuable paintings and statues to burn them in public squares.

While I don’t dispute that some assorted fanatics threatened Serrano’s life, such a response was not sanctioned. And there was no recent precedent, like the brutal murder of Theo van Gogh (referenced by Revolutionmuslim).

Bass notes a “religious-moral superiority” by Western culture, and what’s wrong with that? Western culture doesn’t condemn women to life under a burka, or execute gays using a method of hanging designed to cause a slower, more painful death by strangulation. That’s the past. In countries like Iran, it’s the present.

I detect a whiff of religious-moral equivalence in Bass’ thesis.

Keep your theocratic hands off my free society

Memo to Muslims offended by South Park’s depiction of their prophet:

I’m offended that your religion facilitates the third-class treatment of women, and death for gays. And don’t tell me both sides could learn from the other — it’s all on them. Live in the Dark Ages if you want, but keep it to yourself.

Blogger Bilal el-Houri has seen both sides first hand in the Middle East. He says no matter how “cruel” the South Park episode is, “it should be a wake up call to Muslims around the world about how they are being portrayed, and instead of grunting and calling for boycotts and other actions, “they should begin by respecting free speech” and they should ask themselves, “why?”

Amen.

The Evil Empire caves to fundamentalist thugs

America’s media conglomerates have zero balls (and fewer principles). None is more soulless than Viacom, which has once again bowed to the threats of extremist gasbags.

On Thursday morning, a spokesman for Comedy Central confirmed that the network had added more bleeps to the episode than were in the cut delivered by South Park Studios, and that it was not giving permission for the episode to run on the studio’s Web site.

Among the bleeps: any reference to the “Prophet Mohammed.”

I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the company that owns MTV, responsible for the most nihilistic programming in the history of broadcasting. If only Mohammed was a product — they’d never censor a money-making opportunity.

South Park

Clean, old-fashioned hate

I wouldn’t thank Sean Hannity for saving my life. Take away his generically reactionary conservative politics and I’d still loathe him, though he could win me over by revealing his true identity: Mitch Conner, idealistic grad student out to prove the gullibility of the American public.

“I regurgitated every talking point and reinforced the most trite Middle America cliches. I employed market researchers to map out every second of my program. When they suggested ‘more football,’ I tossed a football on air. When they clamored for more country music (the new stuff, not that genuine, twangy crap) I obliged. If a 42-year-old mother of 10 told me she’d love to see a Palin-Bachmann ticket in 2012, I’d pimp a Palin-Bachmann ticket. To better identify with the average white male, I carried an extra 40 pounds. Most importantly, I never resisted hyperbole. Black was the darkest pit in hell; white, the shiniest light in heaven.

“And then, once the truth was out, I’d blame the liberal elites who educated me, praise Reagan and all would be forgiven.”

Islamic fundamentalist website threatens lives of ‘South Park’ creators

"I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay/"

Is there a verse in the Koran that requires adherents to be humorless, intolerant, cowardly AND irrationally violent?

On Sunday, Revolutionmuslim.com posted an entry that included a warning to South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone that they risk violent retribution – after the 200th episode last week included a satirical discussion about whether an image of the prophet could be shown. In the end, he is portrayed disguised in a bear suit.The posting on Revolutionmuslim.com says: “We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.”

Theo van Gogh was a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered by an Islamic extremist in 2004 after making a short documentary on violence against women in some Islamic societies. The posting on Revolutionmuslim.com features a graphic photograph of Van Gogh with his throat cut and a dagger in his chest.

Don’t you love it when wannabe theocrats hide behind the legal loopholes of a democracy?

“i’m just asking questions”

“I love it when you say the president doesn’t do anything and is changing everything.”

–Butters

“South Park” remains the only reliable source for topical satire, with Cartman pulling off a mean Glenn Beck impression in tonight’s episode. Unlike “The Simpsons,” “South Park” retains an edge, giving its creators the credibility to tell the Petty Queer Establishment to go fuck themselves.

whiny queer advocacy group targets “south park”

The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation has issued a CALL TO ACTION (in all caps, no less) over “South Park’s” repeated use of “fag” in Wednesday’s episode.

Never mind that the epithet was borrowed to describe bikers who ride without a muffler — “Just because a person is gay doesn’t mean he’s a fag,” says one of the characters. “South Park” was making fun of macho assholes, not gays.

Of course the proper context might deter all but the professionally indignant, so the humorless prigs at GLAAD have raised the stakes. “It is an epithet that has real consequences for real people’s lives,” GLAAD said in a statement. “Just this year, an 11-year-old Massachusetts student named Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, unable to endure the unrelenting anti-gay bullying and name-calling he experienced at school, committed suicide.”

I don’t call ‘em the Petty Queer Establishment for nothing.