
I wouldn’t thank Sean Hannity for saving my life. Take away his generically reactionary conservative politics and I’d still loathe him, though he could win me over by revealing his true identity: Mitch Conner, idealistic grad student out to prove the gullibility of the American public.
“I regurgitated every talking point and reinforced the most trite Middle America cliches. I employed market researchers to map out every second of my program. When they suggested ‘more football,’ I tossed a football on air. When they clamored for more country music (the new stuff, not that genuine, twangy crap) I obliged. If a 42-year-old mother of 10 told me she’d love to see a Palin-Bachmann ticket in 2012, I’d pimp a Palin-Bachmann ticket. To better identify with the average white male, I carried an extra 40 pounds. Most importantly, I never resisted hyperbole. Black was the darkest pit in hell; white, the shiniest light in heaven.
“And then, once the truth was out, I’d blame the liberal elites who educated me, praise Reagan and all would be forgiven.”
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