Self-absorbed pro athlete du jour

I am great, aren't I!

Pro baller Carmelo Anthony congratulated himself Saturday for dealing with distractions he created after turning down a $64.7 million contract extension.

“I think it takes a strong-willed person, a strong-minded person, to deal with the stuff that I deal with and still go out there and go to work every day and perform on a nightly basis,” the Denver forward said about trade rumors that have swirled all season as the Feb. 24 trade deadline approaches. “I take my hat off to myself for dealing with all this stuff that’s going on and still be able to go out there and play at the high level that I can play at. I really don’t think an average person can walk in my shoes. I don’t think that.”

All that and humble, too.

Pointless year in review presents … 2010′s best imitation of a parody

“Tomorrow I meet Sarah Palin for the first time. I’m actually a little nervous as she is one of the only people that I can see that can possibly lead us out of where we are. I don’t know yet if she’s strong enough, if she’s well-enough advised or if she knows she can no longer trust anyone. I don’t know if she can lead and not lose her soul.”

Truly the most godforsaken pairing since Cindy Crawford and Billy Baldwin:

Meet the world’s most self-absorbed 12yo girl

A breathtaking display of self-pity and self-aggrandizement:
I guess this cancels out Gay Fish‘s celebrated “mea culpa” from a few months back.

what is it about conservatives and dim, self-pitying egomaniacs?

What a surprise — former Miss California Carrie Prejean stole the show at the Value Voters Summit this weekend.

Prior to choking up, Prejean explained how she knew her answer would jeopardize all the work she had put into preparing for the pageant.

She said, however, that she believes she was chosen for that moment.

“God chose me for that moment because he knew that not only would I be the one to stand up for him and for the truth, but because he knew I was strong enough to get through all the junk that I’ve been through,” said Prejean.

What exactly has this self-serving bleep been through?

confessions of a 39-year-old drama queen

I used to like Brett Farve. Used to. Too bad Lawrence Taylor can’t come out of retirement and end this soap opera once and for all.

Today’s must-read

Self-absorption reaches new heights — from a familiar source.

Today’s must-read

Self-absorption reaches new heights — from a familiar source.

“Oh my God. My arms are falling off my body”

All this Paris Hilton talk has reminded me of another spoiled brat. She was an old friend of mine and Miss Ellie’s. She was very, very dramatic.

The headline above was an actual quote. She emerged from her room, white as a ghost, proclaiming that her arms were falling off her body. For real. We were so taken aback we didn’t know how to respond. Finally, “Could we get you a Coke and some Saltines?” I’m not sure if the soda and crackers were responsible, but miraculously her arms remained attached.

She was consistently late paying her rent. One time she received an irate message from her landlord, which really pissed her off. “It’s not like he needs the money.” She proceeded to write a two-page letter excoriating him for demanding the rent. Later that day she bought a Betsey Johnson dress.

She wasn’t much on empathy, either. On the same day her roomie broke up with her longtime boyfriend, said brat responded: “It’s been a bad day for both of us.” You see, her two-week fling had ended. Six years, two weeks … it’s all the same to the mightily self-absorbed.

I don’t know what became of her, but I’m guessing she’s feeling victimized at this very moment.

“Oh my God. My arms are falling off my body”

All this Paris Hilton talk has reminded me of another spoiled brat. She was an old friend of mine and Miss Ellie’s. She was very, very dramatic.

The headline above was an actual quote. She emerged from her room, white as a ghost, proclaiming that her arms were falling off her body. For real. We were so taken aback we didn’t know how to respond. Finally, "Could we get you a Coke and some Saltines?" I’m not sure if the soda and crackers were responsible, but miraculously her arms remained attached.

She was consistently late paying her rent. One time she received an irate message from her landlord, which really pissed her off. "It’s not like he needs the money." She proceeded to write a two-page letter excoriating him for demanding the rent. Later that day she bought a Betsey Johnson dress.

She wasn’t much on empathy, either. On the same day her roomie broke up with her longtime boyfriend, said brat responded: "It’s been a bad day for both of us." You see, her two-week fling had ended. Six years, two weeks … it’s all the same to the mightily self-absorbed.

I don’t know what became of her, but I’m guessing she’s feeling victimized at this very moment.

Slamming Michael Jordan

Charles Pierce goes where few sportswriters dare in an article comparing LeBron James to MJ:

Jordan wrote the book on how to become a wildly popular and successful athlete without demonstrating even the sliver of a public conscience. More to the point, he created a new template for risk-free stardom, whereby involvement in the unruly hurly-burly of the real world is something that a star is not expected to do. Do the public-service ads for the safe issues, but go no deeper into the forces that create those issues in the first place.

I don’t expect athletes to be activists, but Jordan was beyond programmed. Same with Tiger Woods.

Brought to you by Nike.

Slamming Michael Jordan

Charles Pierce goes where few sportswriters dare in an article comparing LeBron James to MJ:

Jordan wrote the book on how to become a wildly popular and successful athlete without demonstrating even the sliver of a public conscience. More to the point, he created a new template for risk-free stardom, whereby involvement in the unruly hurly-burly of the real world is something that a star is not expected to do. Do the public-service ads for the safe issues, but go no deeper into the forces that create those issues in the first place.

I don’t expect athletes to be activists, but Jordan was beyond programmed. Same with Tiger Woods.

Brought to you by Nike.

Zinged by Duane

He knows me so well:

You are still mad that you couldn’t be head cheerleader, aren’t you? Well, I didn’t have a picnic in school either.

The interesting thing is, by continually belittling me because of your hate for them, you are just joining the ranks of those that continually bullies those that are already subject to other ridicule. I hope that it makes you feel better about that whole popular/cheerleader thing.

Think what you will about me dude, I couldn’t care less. We all know why you are so fixated on me anyway. I guess I do find it sort of flattering in a weird way, you know…?

Geez, I thought he’d welcome the Jessica Simpson comparison.

Zinged by Duane

He knows me so well:

You are still mad that you couldn’t be head cheerleader, aren’t you? Well, I didn’t have a picnic in school either.

The interesting thing is, by continually belittling me because of your hate for them, you are just joining the ranks of those that continually bullies those that are already subject to other ridicule. I hope that it makes you feel better about that whole popular/cheerleader thing.

Think what you will about me dude, I couldn’t care less. We all know why you are so fixated on me anyway. I guess I do find it sort of flattering in a weird way, you know…?

Geez, I thought he’d welcome the Jessica Simpson comparison.