Gallagher, following lead of Rick Perry, Todd Palin and Chuck Norris, endorses Newt
Self-proclaimed comedian Gallagher announced Friday he is endorsing Newt Gingrich for president.
Gallagher said the former speaker shares his concerns about America’s cultural drift.
“Like me, he’s opposed to people naming their girl-children Sam and Toni instead of acceptable names like Evelyn and Betty: Just give her some little lesbian tendencies!” Gingrich would re-open Guantánamo Bay except this time “we’ll be allowed to torture all the way,” Gallagher said. “We had to half-torture—that’s nothin’ compared to what Saddam and his two sons OOFAY and GOOFAY did.”
Defending traditional marriage is another of Gallagher’s concerns. “Newt knows like I do there’s two types of lesbians — the ugly ones and pretty ones.” He’s also suspicious of “people like Cher’s daughter—figure that out. She wants a penis, but she has a big belly. If you can’t see your dick, you don’t get one.”
Most importantly, Newt doesn’t speak French, Gallagher said. “They ruin our language with their faggy words.”
Mitt Romney’s campaign shrugged off the Gallagher endorsement. “We’ve got Carrot Top,” said a top Romney adviser.
(quotes lifted nearly verbatim from a 2010 profile of Gallagher by The Stranger)
No coincidence Shazam! wore red
The left’s indoctrination of our kids goes further than just the Muppets and Captain Planet.
Let’s see if that headline gets me more page views.
Two weeks ago radical Islamists firebombed the French version of “The Onion” after it published an issue “guest edited” by the prophet Muhammed.
Their new issue is downright heroic. Buy a copy if you can, though good lucky finding it in spineless America.
An Australian talk show host interviews climate change denier and right-wing loon Lord Monckton as if he’s really Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest comedic creation.
”The only place you can find a Main Street these days is in Disneyland. And just try to buy a gun there.”
Few shows have aged better.
April 5, 2010 | ISSUE 46•14
Pope Benedict XVI explains which types of slow, deliberate touching the church deems inappropriate.
Andisheh’s Twitter feed satirizing the recent Texas textbook brouhaha is a MUST-read. Some favorites:
- REMINDER: Texas govt offices closed today in observance of 23rd anniversary of Wrestlemania III. #sboe #savehistory #texastextbooks 9:18 AM Mar 29th via TweetDeck
- On this day in 1980, President Lyndon B. Johnson established the Warren Commission to determine who shot J.R. #sboe #savehistory 5:30 PM Mar 25th via TweetDeck
- On this day in 1965, angry blacks had pointless riots in Montgomery, AL. http://bit.ly/bW4YwN #sboe #texastextbooks @onpointradio 12:18 PM Mar 25th via TweetDeck
- On March 30, 1870, Texans forgave Yankees for the war of Northern Aggression and rejoined the Union. #sboe #savehistory #texastextbooks about 5 hours ago via TweetDeck
Excellent observation from a reader on Andrew Sullivan’s blog:
This seems to be another case of life-imitates-The-Simpsons — specifically, the episode where incarcerated attempted murderer Sideshow Bob calls into (the obvious parody of) Limbaugh’s program and casts himself as a conservative unfairly railroaded by the liberal justice system. Limbaugh turns him into a martyr.
Click here for “The Simpsons” episode (go to the 3:00 mark). Here’s the imitation: