Noted & Quoted, sane conservative edition

George F. Will was underwhelmed by the GOP establishment’s muted reaction to the Rush Limbaugh imbroglio.

“Well, it would have been nice if [GOP leaders] shared that with the larger public,” Will said. “Instead, Mr. Boehner said that Rush’s language was inappropriate. Using a salad fork for your entree — that is inappropriate. Rick Santorum says, ‘Well, what he said was absurd and an entertainer is allowed to absurd.’ No, it is the responsibilities of conservatives to police the right excesses on their side just as the liberals unfailingly fail on their own side.”

Then …

“It was depressing because what it indicates is, the Republican leaders are afraid of Rush Limbaugh,” Will continued. “They want to bomb Iran, but they’re afraid of Rush Limbaugh.

Confessions of a megalomaniac

“Not everyone agrees with me. I don’t know why but not everyone agrees with me. Eventually they will.”

–Michele Bachmann, speaking Saturday before a Lutheran congregation in Iowa

Noted & Quoted, bullshit macho posturing edition

Rick Perry brags about Alabama Southwest, from his cleverly titled bio-screed, “Fed Up”:

“Texans, on the other hand, elect folks like me. You know the type, the kind of guy who goes jogging in the morning, packing a Ruger .380 with laser sights and loaded with hollow-point bullets, and shoots a coyote that is threatening his daughter’s dog.”

 

Noted & Quoted, apology accepted edition

An American Muslim is tired of apologizing for 9/11.

Nickleback is planning on releasing another album. Should I ask white people to apologize for that?

Noted & Quoted, amnesia edition

Fox News host Eric Bolling pulled a Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday, asserting that there were no terrorist attacks on “American soil” during President Bush’s term in office.

More proof that Bolling is a moron:

Noted & Quoted, the wisdom of Barkley

“First of all, every player has played with gay guys,” [Charles] Barkley told 106.7 The Fan, adding that any player who says he hasn’t is “a stone-freakin’ idiot.”

“It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say: ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play,” Barkley said.

Barkley once mused about running for governor of Alabama. I think he should aim higher.

Related articles

• Barkley: I had no issues with gay teammates (sports.espn.go.com)

Noted & Quoted, Mark Twain edition

“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” 

Noted & Quoted, Legal blasphemy edition

LGBT advocacy groups overreached this week when they pressured King & Spalding, representing the U.S. House in upholding the Defense of Marriage Act, into dropping the case. An unfortunate legal precedent has been set, explains Geoffrey Stone, a constitutional law scholar from the University of Chicago.

‘To condemn a lawyer for representing a client is a problematic attack on the general responsibility of lawyers,” he says. “Third parties shouldn’t be in the business of excoriating lawyers for representing unpopular clients.”

Noted & Quoted, right-wing smackdown edition

Gotta love Mike Huckabee’s retort after Glenn Beck called him a “progressive” for supporting Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity efforts. The two have been engaged in an escalating feud that has served Huckabee well.

This week Glenn Beck has taken to his radio show to attack me as a Progressive, which he has said is the same as a “cancer” and a “Nazi.” What did I do that apparently caused him to link me to a fatal disease and a form of government that murdered millions of innocent Jews? I had the audacity—not of hope—but the audacity to give respect to the efforts of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign to address childhood obesity. I’m no fan of her husband’s policies for sure, but I have appreciated her efforts that Beck misrepresented—either out of ignorance or out of a deliberate attempt to distort them to create yet another “boogey man” hiding in the closet that he and only he can see. The First Lady’s approach is about personal responsibility—not the government literally taking candy from a baby’s mouth. He seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts for his linking so many people and events together to describe a massive global conspiracy for pretty much everything.

Noted & Quoted, fatwa edition

“We’re a religion of peace and if you don’t agree we’ll cut your fucking head off.” Bill Maher, on that religion we’re never supposed to criticize.

Noted & Quoted, Deluded dinosaur rocker edition

“Van Halen was a good-looking band,” says Sammy Hagar. Van Halen’s “other” lead singer also reveals he was once kidnapped by aliens.

“It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me. It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. There weren’t even wireless telephones. Looking back now, it was like, ‘[Bleep], they downloaded something into me!’ Or they uploaded something from my brain, like an experiment. ‘See what this guy knows.’”

Related Articles

• Sammy Hagar: Aliens “Either Downloaded or Uploaded” His Brain (eonline.com)

Noted & Quoted, statesman edition

There was a brief window in time when Southern voters elected smart, prudent politicians like Sam Nunn.

“Today our airwaves and public debates are filled with attempts to not just denounce opponents’ logic but to impugn their motives. Demagogues and rabble rousers are not new to American history — but the economics and the technology have changed,” Nunn said. “A large number of these folks are making millions of dollars dividing America into segments and yelling, ‘Sic ’em!’”

These political entrepreneurs have made humility unfashionable. It has become a sin in politics to say — nay, to confess — ‘I’m not sure.’ “

Nunn probably couldn’t get elected today. Conservatives would brand him a liberal and progressives would raise money to defeat him.

Noted & Quoted, KOTH edition

”The only place you can find a Main Street these days is in Disneyland. And just try to buy a gun there.”

 

Noted & Quoted, P.J. O’Rourke edition

“We conservatives dislike government and we have the candidates to prove it.”

Nice to hear a conservative admit the obvious. Sadly, O’Rourke is in the minority.

This week we learned a Republican nominee for Congress from Ohio likes to dress up in Nazi uniforms for “historical re-enactments.” Tea party favorite Rich Iott claims he meant no offense, and, unsurprisingly, some conservative apologists are lining up in his defense.

I’m sure they wouldn’t mind me and my buddies dressing up as Taliban to re-create the stoning of 11-year-old girls. On second thought, maybe I’ll just send out some racist spam with attachments of women being fucked by horses.

Related Articles

• Report: Candidate in Ohio wore German SS uniform (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Twain du jour

Mark Twain, as relevant as ever:

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.