Mitt Romney channels Tom T. Hall

The trees in Michigan “are the right height” and other random musings as Romneytron scans his checklist.

The writer got screwed (again)

Why is this Dolly Parton tweet controversial?

I will always be grateful and in awe of the wonderful performance she did on my song, and I can truly say from the bottom of my heart, Whitney, I will always love you.

TMZ reports that Parton “is eating her words” and “took a lot of flack” (from who, it’s not clear) for labeling the song “hers.”

Parton, who spent time in Atlanta last year filming the movie “Joyful Noise,” did pen the song, in the 1970s, although Houston’s cover of it, for the “Bodyguard” movie soundtrack, is no doubt the better-known version.

Dolly wrote the song. It’s hers. Does Houston also own the Star-Spangled Banner because of her famous rendition of the anthem?

They’ll lower the flag for anyone these days

Flags will be lowered in New Jersey on the day of Whitney Houston‘s funeral.

Veterans and their families are mad. They should be.

What bravery did Houston show? What were her contributions to America? Other than a good singing voice that produced tunes about the merits of loving yourself (a condition that’s become a national epidemic), I’m not seeing it.

Chris Brown is a pathetic shit

As is anyone who beats up a woman. No excuses. No pity.

But Chris Brown has changed, enablers like Russell Simmons, Rosie O’Donnell and Queen Latifah said. He’s paid his penance. He won’t do it again.

Sure.

While there were some insensitive fans who trivialized domestic violence and seemed to welcome a punch in the face from Brown, others were not so happy to see him welcomed back into the spotlight or awarded for anything.

To which Brown responded:

Forgive Chris Brown because he’s a handsome celebrity

BuzzFeed collected another two dozen tweets just like the one below:

Willie in ATL tonight

For the record, THIS is the best version of the National Anthem

And you can’t accuse me of speaking ill of the dead because Marvin Gaye is also deceased.

Whitney Houston’s most memorable performance

Germany does Soul Train

Great theme song, in non-Aryan hands.

Meeting Don Cornelius

I was smoking a cigarette, on the back lot at Sony Studios in LA, when Don Cornelius — who died Tuesday from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot — wheeled up in his vintage Mercedes, emerging with two fine young things old enough to be his granddaughters by his side. Still, he pulled it off.

Things I don’t understand

The enduring popularity of Steven Tyler.

foursquare. I thought I’d receive some sort of tangible reward for check-ins. Don’t think I’ll be changing my business cards to add “Mayor of Taco Mac.”

Wolf Blitzer as a TV commentator. It takes him 10 minutes to break news, what with all the stammering and qualifiers.

The fascination w/ Beyonce. She’s as programmed as Romneytron.

How this video is NOT a parody. (They were “discovered” by boy band alum Lance Bass — in the cheesiest gay bar in Orlando, apparently.)

Theme song to one of worst movies ever made rewritten to salute overhyped QB

Yes, it’s come to this: John Parr has re-recorded “St. Elmo’s Fire” as “Tim Tebow’s Fire.”

When I say “St. Elmo’s Fire” is one of the worst movies ever made I mean it. For me it ranks second to “Very Bad Things” — a close second. Let’s recap:

• Mare Winningham in a girdle
• Rob Lowe playing the sax
• Andrew McCarthy pondering the meaning of life, repeatedly
• Emilio Estevez stalking Andie MacDowell
• Demi Moore attempting suicide by opening all the windows in her apartment on a cold day
• Judd Nelson
• Directed by Joel Schumacher, the hack responsible for “Batman and Robin” 

What’s the worst song about Atlanta?

Is it the godawful theme song (click to listen) commissioned by the city six years ago or this yacht rock ditty from Jefferson Starship balladeer Marty Balin unearthed by Andisheh?

“Atlanta June” by Pablo Cruise, which sounded an awful lot like “Atlanta Jew” to my 8yo ears, deserves an honorable mention.