Schadenfreude was invented for Bobby Petrino

The duplicitous jackass was fired tonight, against the wishes of redneck Razorback fans. Jeff Schultz has the gory details.

 Over 21,000 Arkansas fans have joined a “Team Save Bobby Petrino” Facebook page. Some-200 fans showed up for a public protest to save the job of a man who for the better part of his career has proved to be a liar, a coward and morally bankrupt — all of which might matter if he went 7-6 instead of 11-2 last season.

One carried a sign that read, “What’s wrong with scoring in the offseason?”

Another one read, “Define Innappropriate” (sic).

Another read: “Blond Hair. Don’t care. #FreeBobby” – and that one was held up by a woman.

And that pretty much explains why I’m not a fan of college football.

 There are times when humor is appropriate. This isn't one of them.

Karma du jour

Atlantans despise Bobby Petrino, and with good reason. As one of his assistants with the Falcons said of Petrino, who left Atlanta before finishing his first season — without telling his staff or players, “He’s a gutless bastard.”

He’s also a lying scumbag who should be fired but probably won’t be because he coaches at a “university” that places winning football above all else. If character mattered Arkansas wouldn’t have hired Petrino in the first place.

Bobby Petrino first said he’d spent Sunday with his family at a lake before hopping on his motorcycle. If he had, he wouldn’t be on administrative leave.

Turns out Petrino hadn’t been riding alone. Turns out, via the police report, that Petrino had been accompanied by a 25-year-old woman whom he’d just hired as the football team’s “student-athlete development coordinator.” (Note to would-be cover-uppers: Police reports are pesky things.) Turns out Petrino lied in his first public statements, same as he’d lied to Arthur Blank when he told the Falcons’ owner, “You’ve got yourself a football coach” — 27 hours before surfacing in Fayetteville, Ark.


Why Tebow?

He’s not the first telegenic Christian quarterback. Remember Steve Bartkowski? There’s been plenty more since, and most were much more accomplished than Tim Tebow.

So why all the fuss? The guy is totally scripted and not a very good QB. I’m sure he’s a nice guy but really, why is everyone so invested in a back-up?

At least Bart could go deep.


Theme song to one of worst movies ever made rewritten to salute overhyped QB

Yes, it’s come to this: John Parr has re-recorded “St. Elmo’s Fire” as “Tim Tebow’s Fire.”

When I say “St. Elmo’s Fire” is one of the worst movies ever made I mean it. I’d rank it behind only “Very Bad Things.” Let’s recap:

    • Mare Winningham in a girdle
    • Rob Lowe playing the sax
    • Andrew McCarthy pondering the meaning of life, repeatedly
    • Emilio Estevez stalking Andie MacDowell
    • Demi Moore attempting suicide by opening all the windows in her apartment on a cold day
    • Judd Nelson
    • Directed by Joel Schumacher, the hack responsible for “Batman and Robin”

At best, Paterno guilty of crass insensitivity

Scott [Paterno] said that his father was disappointed and was prepared to take questions about the scandal as well as Penn State’s upcoming Big Ten game against Nebraska.

With the cloud hanging over Penn State I think football should be the last thing on Joe Paterno’s mind.

Detroit fans say no to Nickelback

I’m impressed.

“Detroit is home to so many great musicians and they chose Nickelback?!?!?! Does anyone even like Nickelback?,” asks Lions fan Dennis Guttman. “Is this some sort of ploy to get people to leave their seats during halftime to spend money on alcoholic beverages and concessions? This is completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game.” A few days ago, Guttman launched an online crusade against Nickelback’s proposed halftime appearance. As of this writing almost 37,000 people have signed it, thereby becoming official Occupy Halftime protesters.


Another tea partier ignorant of the Constitution

Bocephus, fired as the Monday Night Football balladeer after comparing Obama to Hilter, plays the martyr.

“After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision,” he wrote. “By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of *The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run.”

*Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Last I checked, ESPN didn’t pass a law prohibiting the playing of Hank’s song.