Schadenfreude was invented for Bobby Petrino

The duplicitous jackass was fired tonight, against the wishes of redneck Razorback fans. Jeff Schultz has the gory details.

 Over 21,000 Arkansas fans have joined a “Team Save Bobby Petrino” Facebook page. Some-200 fans showed up for a public protest to save the job of a man who for the better part of his career has proved to be a liar, a coward and morally bankrupt — all of which might matter if he went 7-6 instead of 11-2 last season.

One carried a sign that read, “What’s wrong with scoring in the offseason?”

Another one read, “Define Innappropriate” (sic).

Another read: “Blond Hair. Don’t care. #FreeBobby” – and that one was held up by a woman.

And that pretty much explains why I’m not a fan of college football.

 

Related articles

• Support Coach Bobby Petrino Rally (revolutionarypaideia.com)

Piers Morgan promises to be even more overbearing in 2012

You think I’m unctuous now? You ain’t seen nothing yet, warns CNN’s biggest mistake.  

“I think we will be evolving the show into a more structured format, bringing more of my personality into it,” Morgan said over a lunch with a small group of media reporters. …

The goal is to make the program “a bit more mischievous, certainly more humor, more opinionated,” Morgan says.

 

Arizona’s Bullheaded Connor alleged to have set 432 Jerry Sanduskys free

Rick Perry kisses Joe Arpaio's ring

Maricopa County (AZ) Sheriff Joe Arpaio should find the nearest time machine and return to Birmingham 1954.

Assistant Atty. Gen. Thomas E. Perez described businesses raided when Latinos gathered out front, inmates mocked with racial epithets and 432 cases of sexual assault and child molestation, often involving Latino victims, that investigators botched. The Justice Department is expected to file suit in U.S. District Court in Arizona asking a federal judge to order changes in the sheriff’s office.

Related articles

• Pattern of civil rights abuses alleged in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Maricopa County (latimes.com)

Can a self-aggrandizing fat man really win the presidency?

I don’t know if William Howard Taft was a pompous gasbag. Assuming he was not, Newt stands to make history.

“I was charging $60,000 a speech and the number of speeches was going up, not down,” Gingrich said in South Carolina, explaining why he didn’t actually need his consulting fee from Freddie Mac. “Normally, celebrities leave and they gradually sell fewer speeches every year. We were selling more.”

“The degree to which I challenge the establishment and the degree to which I’m willing to follow ideas and solutions to their natural consequence without regard to Republican or Democratic political correctness makes me probably the most experienced outsider in modern times,” he told Radio Iowa.

Even descriptions of his wife Callista fall prey to aggrandizement: “She actually describes herself as being a cross between Nancy Reagan and Laura Bush with just a slight bit of Jackie Kennedy tossed in and I think there is, somewhere swirling in there, the model Callista would like to live up to.”

Wonder if Taft ever cheated on his wife after she was diagnosed with MS? (I’m not confusing MS with cancer — that was the first wife.)

Steve Jobs was an asshole

You can tell everything about a person by how they treat people who bring them food. It’s a subservient position, one that’s easily taken advantage of or belittled by egomaniacs. From Walter Issacson’s upcoming bio on the Apple co-founder.

Jony Ive, Apple’s longtime design chief, tells Isaacson; perhaps that’s why he parked in handicapped spots, was rude to every waiter he ever encountered, and believed he didn’t have to bathe.

From personal experience I can tell you that Evander Holyfield and Bill Laimbeer are also a-holes. Former Atlanta Hawks coach Lenny Wilkens, who tipped $50 during the Christmas holidays, is not.

‘Assholishness’ infects Arizona GOP

Apparently the Pima County, AZ GOP considers tact a violation of the Second Amendment/Commandment, which, as you know, is the most sacred of God’s 10 edicts.

Eight months after a mad gunman killed six and injured 13, including Pima County’s congressional representative, Gabrielle Giffords, the party figured it was a good idea to hold a fundraiser raffle in which the prize was a Glock nearly identical to the one used by Jared Lee Loughner.

Mike Shaw  Doyle Hargraves, the interim chairman of the county GOP, said the Glock “is no more responsible for those deaths and the congresswoman’s injuries than a Number 2 pencil is responsible for cheating on a test.”

So how did the public respond?

The notoriety fueled such demand, said interim Chairman Mike Shaw, not only did the raffle for the Glock pistol sell out, but they subsequently raffled a deer rifle as well.

Related articles

• Arizona Gun Raffle Deemed a Success (politicalwire.com)

And an overbearing ex-sportscaster shall lead them

Debuting on the MySpace of cable TV networks, Keith Olbermann reminded viewers he’s the “last line of defense” against those evil corporations, in their corporation buildings, acting all corporation-y.

I trust everyone’s sent Keith an e-mail thanking him for saving America.

The biggest a-hole in Congress

“We hear the CBO says well if we don’t raise the debt limit, it’s going to put so many people out of work, I don’t remember then number, I think it’s 250,000 or something, are gonna be put out of work. Well those are gonna be government employees that are put out of work. There are a lot of government employees that need to go find a real job!”

Government worker Paul Broun (R-Ga.), demonstrating his empathy for police officers, firefighters and teachers.

Asshole state rep. strikes again

Already this year Bobby Franklin, a state representative from Marietta, has compared gays to “unrepentant drug dealers” and tried to criminalize miscarriages.

Now he’s badmouthing tornado survivors.

At least 340 people were killed by the historic tornado cell that passed through the South, causing property damages ranging from $2 billion to $5 billion.

Speaking of people I don’t want to have dinner with …

John Rocker, a titanic asshole without peer, is writing his biography (self-published).

Pimping his upcoming tome in Atlanta magazine, Rocker says he rarely speaks with reporters, adding, “I’ve sworn off doing print interviews.” Jeff Schultz quips, “In Rocker’s world, I guess this means a magazine doesn’t qualify as print.”

Like most blowhards, it appears Rocker is still playing the victim. He is responsible for one of the most objectionable quotes ever, and it’s not the one you think.

“I’ve taken a lot of crap from a lot of people,” the left-handed relief pitcher told ESPN.com in 2005. “Probably more than anybody in the history of the sport. … I know Hank [Aaron] and Jackie [Robinson] took a good deal of crap, but I guarantee it wasn’t for six years. I just keep thinking: How much am I supposed to take?”

Related articles

• John Rocker is going to publish a memoir (hardballtalk.nbcsports.com)