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Bet he’d be fine with #BringBackOurFatWhiteGuy

How long before miserable human being Rush Limbaugh blames Obama for his Oxycontin addiction?

“I just think this is pathetic. I’m just stunned. We got 300 Nigerian girls kidnapped by an Al Qaeda group, and nobody cared or talked about it for a while, Hillary [Clinton] wouldn’t call ‘em a terror group. Now all of a sudden, for some reason, we’re on a big push to get ‘em back and this is how… ?” Limbaugh said Thursday on his radio program, according to a transcript. …

“I want to ask you, what message does this send? And then I want to ask you, is the United States really this powerless? And then if you answer yes, we are really this powerless, then isn’t Obama to blame?” 

 

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The Malcontent recommends …

“A Fragile Trust: Plagiarism, Power and Jayson Blair at The New York Times”: A first-rate documentary about a  true sociopath reveals just how much Blair got away with while working for the paper of record. In one year alone, he had 23 corrections. Blair still seems unable to take complete responsibility for his egregious behavior. Despite that, he now makes a living as a life coach. He claims to have more than 200 clients.

“Fargo,” the TV series: The movie is one of the 20 best ever made, so the idea of a TV spin-off didn’t appeal to me. I can’t say the series is exceptional — in fact, I’m still not completely sold. But Billy Bob Thornton’s character is so compelling it overcomes any other shortcomings.

“Silicon Valley”: From Todd in “Beavis and Butthead” to Dale Gribble in “King of the Hill” to Milton in “Office Space,” Mike Judge has a knack for creating memorable supporting characters. Peter Gregory, the angel investor in “Silicon Valley,” was just the latest, but Sunday’s episode was his last. Christopher Evan Welch, the actor who portrayed Gregory, died in December from lung cancer.

I could do without landlord Erlich Bachmann, played by T.J. Miller. He’s a huge drag on the show — annoying and unfunny.

 

 

 

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Donald Sterling exposed more than his own ignorance

Donald Sterling is a bigot who got what he deserved.

But the over-reaction to his comments reveals how fucking soft, and emotionally trigger-happy, we’ve become.

For instance, an ESPN reporter said that, in first game played after Sterling’s racist musings went public, Clippers center DeAndre Jordan was in a “catatonic state.” He scored zero points in the Clips’ Game 4 loss.

I’d hate to see how Jordan would’ve fared marching to Selma, when there were thousands of Donald Sterlings yelling much worse things. And that was the least of what the civil rights demonstrators faced.

Now some are calling for the Clippers to change their nickname. One Yahoo! Sports columnist wrote, “Using the old transitive property we learned in high school math, the link is simple and stark: Clippers = Sterling = Racist.”

Based on that logic, virtually every American sports team older than 50 years should change their nicknames since, odds are, they were once owned by a racist.

For years, the Boston Red Sox were owned by Tom Yawkey, a notorious racist who makes Sterling look like Phil Donahue in comparison.

According to Yawkey’s 1976 obituary in The Boston Globe, future Hall of Famer Jackie Robinson tried out at Fenway Park in 1945.

According to the Globe:

The story went that Mr. Yawkey and Eddie Collins were standing in the back of the park and the club owner allegedly said: “all right, get those [expletives] out of the ball park.” Robinson for years branded him a racist.

Let’s all calm down. Donald Sterling is a racist who’s paying the price for his ignorance. Good. Time to move on.

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The J-Lo Award for Shameless Greed goes to …

Erykah Badu, for singing “Happy Birthday” to an African despot who, according to Amnesty International, “is a kleptocrat who lives in the lap of obscene luxury while most of his countrymen toil in abject poverty for less than $2 a day.”

More appalling was the preposterous, self-pitying defense Badu mounted on social media.

“All the people were smiling when I sang,” Badu tweeted. “I was smiling. We all felt good in that moment.”

Via Twitter, the singer contested the idea that it was mandatory for the country’s citizens to attend the party. She said that her appearance was a “surprise for the King and the people.” She battled with tweeters, telling one to “go to human rights class” and telling another, who claimed to be Swazi and “directly affected by Mswati’s oppression,” “U on Twitter tho, oppressing me.” She even said she would perform in North Korea. “The people aren’t the government,” she wrote.

“Every time I respond to cruel accusations from my African freedom fighting brothers, I know I’m giving them a platform to further their agenda,” she wrote Thursday. “If one watched closely, we would appear as if we were a team. Good cop, bad cop. . . using my platform to give legs to their brothers in jail. In actuality. They see me as a naive, sensitive whose platform can be used and fluffed at the artist’s expense. Unnecessary Roughness.”

Conclusion: Badu is either astoundingly stupid or staggeringly callous.

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Cameron Diaz has written a book about pubic hair

Consistent with my need to inflict unnecessary pain upon myself, I listened to a radio interview with that dipshit Cameron Diaz and the cloying, squeaky voiced wife of Tim Allen-loving bromance auteur Judd Apatow.

They talked about their girls outing to northern California with Drew Barrymore, a trip that, had I been on, would’ve ended in my suicide. But it was empowering, yo, just like those “Charlie’s Angels” movies.

The conversation then turned to Diaz’s new book, which has something to do with empowerment (for really dumb people, I assume). It’s titled The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body, because every woman has an amazing body, even if they don’t. That’s not me being sexist. Most men don’t have amazing bodies, either. I certainly don’t. 

Apparently Diaz tackles such weighty issues as pubic hair maintenance. Finally, a celebrity willing to tackle the tough issues.

Needless to say the  hosts lickspittles were all agog, blinded by the blond.

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Judge him by his heroes, and his fans

According to a proclamation commemorating Confederate History Month signed by Georgia’s corrupt governor, the racist traitors who fought for the 1 percent’s right to own slaves were “great leaders.”

But hey, John Rocker likes him, calling Deal “one of the top governors in all of America” after the Republican incumbent signed Georgia’s absurd “guns everywhere” bill into law. 

(h/t Andisheh)

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Kareem gets it right

Of course Donald Sterling is a racist asshole, but those suggesting the Clippers refuse to take the court or fans boycott their games are being ridiculous. Why should anyone but Sterling be held responsible for his ignorance?

Basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar puts the Sterling imbroglio in the proper context:

He was discriminating against black and Hispanic families for years, preventing them from getting housing. It was public record. We did nothing. Suddenly he says he doesn’t want his girlfriend posing with Magic Johnson on Instagram and we bring out the torches and rope. Shouldn’t we have all called for his resignation back then?

Shouldn’t we be equally angered by the fact that his private, intimate conversation was taped and then leaked to the media? … The making and release of this tape is so sleazy that just listening to it makes me feel like an accomplice to the crime. We didn’t steal the cake but we’re all gorging ourselves on it.

Make no mistake: Donald Sterling is the villain of this story. But he’s just a handmaiden to the bigger evil. In our quest for social justice, we shouldn’t lose sight that racism is the true enemy. He’s just another jerk with more money than brains.

So, if we’re all going to be outraged, let’s be outraged that we weren’t more outraged when his racism was first evident. Let’s be outraged that private conversations between people in an intimate relationship are recorded and publicly played. Let’s be outraged that whoever did the betraying will probably get a book deal, a sitcom, trade recipes with Hoda and Kathie Lee, and soon appear on Celebrity Apprentice and Dancing with the Stars.

The big question is “What should be done next?” I hope Sterling loses his franchise. I hope whoever made this illegal tape is sent to prison. I hope the Clippers continue to be unconditionally supported by their fans. I hope the Clippers realize that the ramblings of an 80-year-old man jealous of his young girlfriend don’t define who they are as individual players or as a team. They aren’t playing for Sterling—they’re playing for themselves, for the fans, for showing the world that neither basketball, nor our American ideals, are defined by a few pathetic men or women.

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Is there a bigger dick than Wayne LaPierre?

The NRA chairman doubles as leader of the white conservative victim class, bemoaning the “loss” of freedoms in America when his organization gets everything they fucking want, rationality be damned.

“Gun rights, where we are right now in this country, have become a metaphor for a feeling it’s kind of all slipping away,” he continued. “It’s yearning for individual rights — the right to be safe, the right to be secure, the right to protect your family. The Bill of Rights, the Constitution, the right to live the way you choose.”

 

Rancher Cliven Bundy poses at his home in Bunkerville, Nevada

Shocked to hear racism from anti-government militant

Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, hero to the Hannity crowd, sticks his boot up his ass and into his mouth:

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.

“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.

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Self-promoting activist Dustin Lance Black is no Harvey Milk

My more successful nemesis, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of “Milk” — a phrase likely incorporated in his voicemail greeting — is fond of depicting himself as the lone voice in the wilderness, fighting for justice while others stand on the sidelines.

The sun was warm and the reception from the town even warmer. I hadn’t run across such courteous people since I left Texas when I was 13 years old. As I drove down College Avenue, I passed a school. The sign out front read: Hope College. I smiled. I was supposed to be moving on from Milk, the 2008 film in which Sean Penn portrayed early gay-rights pioneer Harvey Milk. But here was Harvey’s favorite word, “Hope,” finding me once again.

They had simply never discussed gay rights openly before, and here I was, an interloper, threatening to thrust this hot-button issue into their community.

A similar narrative was relayed to the author of a widely discredited new book about the fight for marriage equality.

On March 21, 2009, screenwriter Dustin Lance Black gave a speech at the OutGiving conference for LGBT donors held by Tim Gill’s Gill Foundation warning against gradualism and calling for full federal equality for LGBT people.

“If there was applause, Black didn’t remember any,” Jo Becker writes of the speech in her new book, Forcing the Spring, which details the anger that a planned federal lawsuit challenging California’s Proposition 8 was raising from some more established LGBT leaders. “Instead, he recalled an ocean of pursed lips and crossed arms, and that he was literally trembling as he walked off stage. … Tim Gill … denounced Black outright, telling the crowd he was naive and misguided.”

BuzzFeed acquired a video of that speech and found that Black’s speech was interrupted by applause five times.

At the end, at least some members of the audience gave Black a standing ovation, the video shows. Though Black does look nervous, he is far from trembling — and waves out to the audience with a smile on his face before leaving the stage.

Don’t expect Black to be held accountable. The mythmakers in the Petty Queer Establishment have embraced him as one of their own. DLB should feel right at home, since their version of history often contradicts reality.

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Georgia’s insane gun bill becomes law

Via the AJC:

House Bill 60, which passed in the final hours of this year’s legislative session, allows Georgians to legally carry firearms in a wide range of new places, including schools, bars, churches and government buildings. A recent analysis also said it could let felons use the state’s “stand your ground” rules to claim self-defense if they feel threatened.

Demonstrating how cowardly the Democrats have become on gun control, the party’s likely nominee for governor, Jason Carter, voted for the bill.

The bill, which takes effect July 1, also legalizes the use of silencers for hunting, clears the way for school staffers to carry guns in school zones and lets leaders of religious congregations choose whether to allow licensed gun holders inside. And it allows permitted gun owners to carry their weapons in government buildings – including parts of courthouses – where there is no security at the entrance.

soccerfans

Cheering for the Red Sox is so Aught 10

Those annoying fuckers who decided to become Red Sox fans after the perennial losers started winning have discovered a new passion — and this one has an accent.

Actually, hipsters started gravitating to soccer a decade ago but The New York Times is just catching on. The ironic backpack set’s fervor assures I’ll never be a fan of soccer — or futbol, if you’re tragically hip.

With fan interest booming, soccer is no longer the Kylie Minogue of the sporting realm: huge everywhere but here. After years of being greeted as the Next Big Thing that wasn’t, the sport (particularly England’s Premier League, with its enhanced presence on American television) has become a conversation topic you can no longer ignore.

This is particularly evident in New York creative circles, where the game’s aesthetics, Europhilic allure and fashionable otherness have made soccer the new baseball — the go-to sport of the thinking class.

Besides, everyone’s doing it, and what better reason to become interested in something ?

“It’s almost guaranteed that almost any male literary person under the age of 45 is going to be somewhat versed in soccer,” said Sean Wilsey, a writer who helped edit “The Thinking Fan’s Guide to the World Cup,” a 2006 compilation of essays by the likes of Dave Eggers and Robert Coover. As a conversation topic, it has become inevitable at book parties, in part because it is both sophisticated and safe. “Isn’t it sort of a relief to talk about the English Premier League instead of the sad state of publishing?” he added. “It’s a great default topic.”

They’ll fit right in among your typical urbane European soccer fan.

“You buy into the history and the tradition, the values of the club,” said Bryan Lee, a digital brand strategist who grew up in Southern California and lives in Greenpoint. He showed up in a vintage gray Liverpool away jersey. “Historically, Liverpool has been a blue-collar port city,” added Mr. Lee, 24, as thoughtful as if he were delivering his orals at graduate school. “The politics of Liverpool was really sort of anti-Thatcher. It’s become the people’s club. Those hardworking blue-collar values never really left, even though it’s been ushered into the modern era of the club being a global franchise.”

Spoken like I’d expect a digital brand strategist to speak.

Not that I’m complaining. Let the hipsters have soccer — I’d rather see a Liverpool jersey than another fucking Red Sox cap.

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An Atlanta mystery solved

For years I’ve wondered about the post-modern grain silo overlooking the Downtown Connector at Freedom Parkway. Curbed Atlanta says the residence, zoned for commercial use, is available for $3.5 million.

Someone bought the lot for $77,000 back in 1996 and built this six-bedroom home two years later, back when the Old Fourth Ward was a little less trendy. They had the foresight to maximize the views with walls of windows and multiple decks. With a cathedral ceiling and stylish spiral staircase, the spaces remain airy. The home has more bathrooms (8) than some elementary schools, with a tiered fireplace and enough panache to make bay windows look hip.

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