See ya at Duke Zeibert’s

My Two Cents
A Poem by Larry King
(Sam Johnson, Chris Marcil)
July 4, 1994

Dick Van Dyke is the most enduring of television superstars.
Burt Reynolds improves the screen by being on it.
Kris Kristofferson never fails to move me.
Tommy Lasorda’s pasta sauce is very, very good.

I get a good feeling when I see a police officer on a horse.
I’ve never been a big fan of daylight savings time.
I never get tired of listening to Canada’s national anthem.
I wonder what I’ll find if I ever get around to cleaning out my glove
compartment.
I always feel 100 percent better after a really good manicure.

How can people eat huge meals when it’s hot outside?
Chinese food tastes better Sunday nights.
Doesn’t pink grapefruit taste better than yellow standard grapefruit?
I will not return to a restaurant that doesn’t have skim milk at all times.
Jell-O is still one of the all-time great desserts.

If the first call of the day is a good one, then all of them usually are.
Parking violations officers who enjoy their jobs are sadists.
You want a clean city, my friend, you want Salt Lake City, Utah.
The designs of the new ties are better than ever.
The dumbest of all human attitudes is racial prejudice.

Milk cartons are not easy to open.

Is there a better feeling than having to sneeze and then sneezing?
Don’t you believe Kermit and Miss Piggy are real?
Do you think you could explain satellite dishes to Thomas Jefferson?
Do men still wear pinky rings?
How do women choose among all the lipsticks available to them?

How do you celebrate flag day?

Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil¬†write for MTV’s “Beavis¬†and Butt-head.” This poem was culled entirely from Larry King’s column in USA Today.

About these ads

One thought on “See ya at Duke Zeibert’s

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s