Hollywood is over: Sitcom edition

The scores of promos for “Whitney” during last Sunday night’s Falcons game promised something awful. It delivered.

Our heroine is rather less randy, and the central scene of the Whitney pilot concerns her effort to reheat a sex life that has reached a cryogenic temperature. To spice things up, Whitney gets herself a naughty nurse outfit, with the little white cap and frilly red knickers, and she surprises Alex with a frisky show of medical-care coquetry, pouting that he needs to check in for an appointment. Committing to the role-playing, she establishes that preliminaries will involve his filling out a lot of paperwork, and you steel yourself to witness a hardcore S&M scene involving health-insurance bureaucracy. But, no, Alex, racing to the boudoir with his trousers at his knees, slips and falls and sustains a concussion, and the sassy black nurse at the hospital denies Whitney’s attempts to follow her beau into the ER: “You either married or you not.” The studio audience receives a little lesson, if that’s what it is, about commitment. There is a peculiar flavor to this cheese. If you caught a snippet of Whitney unawares, you would be forgiven for assuming that it’s one of those shows-within-a-show that exists to caricature bad television.

Hollywood is officially over

Better add new screens at the Hell Cineplex.

Coming this fall:

  • Footloose
  • The Three Musketeers (featuring a chick this time and Matrix-style special effects; will it include a remake of one of the worst songs of all time from the last Musketeers remake?)
  • A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas
  • Jack and Jill (with Adam Sandler in drag)
  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I
  • The Muppets
  • New Year’s Eve (a sequel, of sorts, to one of the most godawful pieces of dreck I’ve ever wasted five minutes on, “Valentine’s Day”)
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked
  • Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol (the Cult of Scientology must need a cash infusion)

Hyperbole is what ails America

Watching Michael Moore and Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello on Bill Maher’s show reminded me how alike the fringes are.

Left and right, they share a victim’s mentality, along with an inflated sense of their own importance. The sky is always falling, and they never let facts get in the way of a partisan talking point.

To wit: the canonization of Troy Davis, deemed innocent, or guilty, by activists who haven’t bother to study the case. I’m opposed to the death penalty morally and practically but I’m not convinced Davis is innocent. I was bothered that even the slightest of doubt was dismissed.

Likewise, I’m troubled by the blowhards who choose certitude over study. Their minds can’t be changed because they’re never wrong. And increasingly their delusion dominates the narrative.

“I encourage everyone I know to never travel to Georgia, never buy anything made in Georgia, [and] to never do business in Georgia,” Moore said on his website this week.

The Academy-Award winning filmmaker and best-selling author also called on his publisher to pull his memoir, “Here Comes Trouble,” from every Georgia bookstore.

If Grand Central Publishing doesn’t pull the 427-page book, Moore said he will “donate every dime of every royalty my book makes in Georgia to help defeat the racists and killers who run that state.”

Think that’ll influence anyone? And let’s say the boycott was successful. The ones who would be most hurt by it are the working poor Moore claims to represent.

Morello, a self-avowed Marxist, would take it a step further, creaming at the thought of an armed rebellion that he can watch from the comfort of his pricey Hollywood Hills estate.

Time to rage against the extremists, left and right.

Rick Perry’s life of luxury, at taxpayer’s expense

Funny, the Tea Party doesn’t seem very upset about this:

Taxpayer costs associated with Perry’s rental home in western Travis County have sometimes totaled $10,000 per month.

From an Associated Press report in 2010: “It costs more than $10,000 a month in rent, utilities and upkeep to house Perry in a five-bedroom, seven-bath mansion that has pecan-wood floors, a gourmet kitchen and three dining rooms. Perry has also spent $130,000 in campaign donations to throw parties, buy food and drink, and pay for cable TV and a host of other services since he moved in, the records show.”

Perry and his wife are living in the rental home while the Governor’s Mansion is rebuilt. The mansion was already undergoing renovations when it was severely damaged in a 2009 arson fire. No arrests have been made in the crime.

At the rental home, advertised for sale for $1.85 million in 2007, Perry’s taxpayer-funded expenses have included $18,000 for “consumables” such as household supplies and cleaning products, $1,001 in window coverings from Neiman Marcus, a $1,000 repair of the governor’s filtered ice machine, a $700 clothes rack and $70 for a subscription to Food and Wine Magazine.

And talk about pay to play.

Perry often gives the state’s most prestigious appointments to major campaign donors. Of the 3,995 people Perry appointed from 2001 to June 2010, 921 of them or their spouses gave his campaigns more than $17 million, and Perry has collected more than $6 million from the people he appointed to university boards of regents, according to Texans for Public Justice , a liberal watchdog group. Regent posts are among the most prestigious a governor can dole out.

Conservative certitude

I thought government was always bad. Not when it comes to killing people, according to Ann Coulter.

There’s a reason more than a dozen courts have looked at Davis’ case and refused to overturn his death sentence. He is as innocent as every other executed man since at least 1950, which is to say, guilty as hell.


Birthers never die

Arizona’s asshole “Sheriff Joe” has, at the behest of tea party activists, formed a volunteer posse “to investigate whether the purported Hawaiian birth certificate Obama released to the public on April 27 is a forgery.”

Meanwhile, the birther movement has attracted some real starpower.

Pat Boone calls Obama’s birth certificate ‘a fraud’ Breaking News
‘He’s spending millions of dollars so that we do not have his records’