Okely dokely, Romneytron

The Anchorman tries oh so hard.

"Which hair product do you prefer?"

“South Park is funny,” he admitted, adding, “you know your faith has made it big time when it’s being made fun of on Broadway.” But even more shocking was his admission that he read and enjoyed Twilight, the vampire series that became that movie your 12-year-old cousin wouldn’t stop talking about. “I like the Twilight series; I thought that was fun,” he said, adding that he discovered it through his granddaughter. He did add a caveat though: “I don’t like vampires personally– I don’t know any.”

You’re terrible, Mitt.

In the same interview Romneytron confesses to be a big fan of “American Idol” and The Beatles. He focus grouped Lady Gaga but she didn’t score high with Iowans or South Carolinians.

Pick a side

Racists or religious fanatics?

Protesting members of the controversial Westboro Baptist Church were met with an unlikely group of counter-protesters Monday at Arlington Cemetery. …

Among those counter-protesting at the cemetery’s main entrance: About 10 members of a group that claims to be a branch of the Ku Klux Klan from Virginia called the Knights of the Southern Cross.

Hitler or Pol Pot? Red Sox or Yankees? Glee or American Idol?

What’s changed in 60 years

How does a college professor obtain a $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany’s? Or a local sportscaster and her commercial fisherman husband afford a $1.7 million second home?

It wouldn’t have happened without their political careers. We’ve come to accept the public servant as millionaire, despite the example of Harry Truman.

When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an “allowance” and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year. As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, “You don’t want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it’s not for sale.”

I don’t begrudge anyone getting rich. But wealth is not always an option You enter fields like journalism, education and politics knowing they are not lucrative financially. Or at least they shouldn’t be.

Instead politicians follow the path of many religious leaders, living like pimps while reassuring the peasants they are empathetic. But hey, if Jesus was rich, why not them? Note that these prosperity preachers have among the largest congregations in the country.

Blame yourselves.

And Jesus went into the Temple and sent out all who were trading there, overturning the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those trading in doves.

Romneytron resembles John Kerry’s infamous line, denies it, then claims credit for originating it

The pro-choice, pro-civil union, pro-public option former governor of Massachusetts actually supported the auto bailout before he was against it. Now he’s claiming credit for coming up with the idea. There’s truth amid all the shifting.

Romney wrote a Nov. 2008 column “proposing government help for Detroit but only through a tough-love approach; he insisted on labor concessions, a change in management and a bankruptcy that would cost the shareholders.”

Obama adopted a similar plan. “Government and union co-ownership: It would be as ineffective as it is un-American,” Romney wrote in April 2009.

Now that it’s proven successful, Romney’s flipped again.

“Romney had the idea first. You have to acknowledge that. He was advocating for a course of action that eventually the Obama administration adopted,” Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom told The New York Times last week.

I guess it depends on how you ask the question. Ask Romneytron if he supports a policy enacted by the Obama administration and see what he says.

Romney lite

Five bucks to anyone who can find someone not named Pawlenty excited about the former Minnesota governor’s presidential bid.

Question one: Why the hell does the United States have more than 170 military bases?

“I’m not one who’s going to stand before you and say we need to cut the defense budget,” said Pawlenty, who up to that point had been pounding the table about austerity. Get rid of the bases that sound like wastes of space and you risk American supremacy. “You’d see a massive realignment of the strategic relationship towards China and away from America in Asia,” he said. “This is not where we’re going to get six months, six years warning about the next conflict. I’m not for shrinking America’s presence in the world. I’m for making sure America remains the world leader.”

A more dangerous question was next: In the wake of NY-26, what did Pawlenty make of the Ryan plan? This elicited the safe, smart, tapioca answer that Pawlenty’s been giving for weeks.

“In general,” he said, “I think the direction of it is positive, but I’m going to have my own plan.”

Issue, dodged. Pawlenty pointed into the crowd again.

“We’ll take the guy in the purple tie,” he said. “That’s a Vikings color!”

Unfortunately, the wearer of Vikings colors worked for the Marijuana Policy Project, who asked Pawlenty how he could be taken seriously on health care since he had opposed “my group” on medical pot.

“What was it?” asked Pawlenty? “Marijuana? Yeah. Well… I stood with law enforcement issue on this issue… we just have a respectful difference on this issue.”

End of audience questions.

Leave behind some crappy jewelry

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The Palin propaganda project

A “two-hour-long, sweeping epic,” commissioned by Sarah “Half-term” Palin, is set to premiere in June. In Iowa.  The film project tells us two things we already knew, or should have: 1.) Palin has a monstrous ego and 2.) She’s running for president.

After a brief interlude featuring some old Palin family home video footage, Act 1 begins with Sarah as narrator, recalling the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, when she was a young pregnant wife married to a blue-collar husband working on the North Slope.

“I hadn’t yet envisioned running for elected office,” Palin says in the audio taken from “Going Rogue,” as images of the environmental disaster unfold on the screen. “But looking back, I could see that tragedy planted a seed in me. If I ever had a chance to serve my fellow citizens, I would do so.”

It gets worse, naturally.

“The Undefeated” eschews less flattering topics, such as the Troopergate saga — which had little effect on the VP campaign but left a lastingly negative impression of Palin in the eyes of many Alaskans — and her unimpressive series of interviews with Katie Couric.

Bannon dramatizes the theme of Palin’s persecution at the hands of her enemies in the media and both political parties, a notion the former governor has long embraced. Images of lions killing a zebra and a dead medieval soldier with an arrow sticking in his back dramatize the ethics complaints filed by obscure Alaskan citizens, which Palin has cited as the primary reason for her sudden resignation in July of 2009.

The Palin crowd responds favorably to propaganda, so expect this Riefenstahl-like portrait to benefit the vindictive reality TV star.

Iran has a culture minister?

When he’s not keeping silent on his regime’s jailing of artists who support the country’s reform movement, Iran’s deputy culture minister Javad Shamaqdari is defending directors who claim sympathy to Adolf Hitler.

Director Lars von Trier has since apologized for his “unintelligent, ambiguous and needlessly hurtful” remarks about the Fuhrer, which got him banned from the Cannes Film Festival award ceremony (some punishment). Shamaqdari sent a letter blasting the decision by festival organizers, mocking their claim of defending free speech “a meaningless slogan.”

Meanwhile, a film by an Iranian director, Mohammad Rasoulof — sentenced to six years in jail and banned from filmmaking for 20 years on charges that included “making propaganda” against the ruling system — won a prize at Cannes.

Like von Trier, he won’t be at the awards ceremony.

What about the ATL?

Adverstising Age, in a story about Buffalo’s new slogan, compiled a list of the worst of municipal sloganeering and didn’t include Atlanta. What, “Every Day is an Opening Day” not crappy enough for ya? Or “City Lights, Southern Nights”?

And then there’s the theme song. Admittedly, Sioux City’s is worse.