Justice served

The idiots who paid $58 and up to see Charlie Sheen’s one-man show booed him off the stage after enduring an hour of “video clips and Sheen-isms that felt hastily assembled and misjudged the patience of even the hardest of hardcore fans.”

Among the highlights:

9:15 — OK, nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!” Later, a cab driver tells me that it’s about this time that angry fans began walking out of the theatre.

9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.

9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.” He asks if people have any questions. A girl from the audience asks for his best pornstar story. Sheen doesn’t want to tell that one. He’s starts telling a story about getting his car stolen — he says the story involves crack — but nobody wants to hear it.

10:05 — Sheen is composing a live tweet. More comments from people leaving early: “I was expecting a comedy show.” “It’s just like hanging out at his house,” says a man wearing an “I Believe in Tiger Blood” T-shirt.

10:20 — Sheen plays the track he recorded with Snopp Dogg. But Snoop, despite promises, is a no-show (he was actually back in Los Angeles, performing live on stage at Nickelodeon’s Kids Choice Awards). Lights come on. That’s it? Fans angry.

Maybe they were expecting tips on how to beat up women and avoid prison.