The first Phil Collins Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Lameness goes to …

Overrated “bromance” auteur Judd Apatow, for defending Tim Allen from mean ol’ Ricky Gervais. Apatow’s reasoning is even lamer than the former “Home Improvement” star:

“Tim Allen did 200 episodes of Home Improvement. He was in three of the highest-grossing movies of all-time. And his latest [Toy Story 3] just crossed the one billion mark. Whereas The Invention of Lying [Gervais' last film] made $18 million dollars worldwide … Leave Tim Allen alone.”

I suppose I shouldn’t criticize Apatow since his movies have grossed more than my film school short.

Oscars’ stupidest decisions (screenplay and director)

(post-1970)

BEST SCREENPLAY

*”Dead Poets Society,” 1989 (original). Not quite Patch Adams goes to Prep School, but not much better, either. “Crimes and Misdemeanors” and “Do The Right Thing” were snubbed for this?

*”Ghost,” 1990, (original). Might as well have given an Oscar to a Hallmark card.

*”The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” 2004, (adapted). Over “City of God” and “American Splendor.” More proof that sci-fi geeks have taken over.

BEST DIRECTOR

*John Avildsen, “Rocky,” 1976. Over Sidney Lumet for “Network.” Sure.

*Robert Redford, “Ordinary People,” 1980. Scorsese. “Raging Bull.” David Lynch. “The Elephant Man.” Cue John McEnroe.

*Oliver Stone, “Born on the Fourth of July,” 1989. A badly acted, plodding polemic won over vintage Woody Allen (“Crimes and Misdemeanors”).

*Kevin Costner, “Dances with Wolves,” 1990. It’s one thing to lose to Robert Redford, quite another for Scorsese and “Goodfellas” to be overlooked in favor of Kevin Costner.

*Anthony Minghella, “The English Patient,” 1996. Over Joel Coen and “Fargo.” Here’s Johnny.

The courage of a 9 yo

Ronald McNair, killed in the Challenger explosion 25 years ago, would merit remembrance had he never become an astronaut.

In 1959, when McNair was just nine years old, he famously made a scene at the Lake City Public Library. Residents stared the African American boy down and watched as he walked to the main counter and attempted to check out books on advanced science and calculus. The librarian refused to release them and told him “we don’t circulate books to Negroes.”

The passionate young man wouldn’t budge, and instead hoisted himself onto the counter and said he wasn’t leaving without the books. Library patrons laughed as McNair’s feet dangled off the counter while he waited and the librarian called police.

Two police officers arrived at the scene along with McNair’s mother, Pearl. They determined the boy was not causing any public disturbance and Pearl convinced the librarian she’d pay for the books if they were not returned. The librarian gave in.

The Cynthia McKinneys of the right

(Some) Republicans recognize the callowness of Bachmann Palin Overdrive but are scared to say so publicly, lest they attract the wrath of their groupies.

When Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann was named to the House Intelligence Committee earlier this year, one of her Republican colleagues responded this way: “Is that a punchline?” Another simply said, “Jumbo shrimp. Oxymoron.”

Neither dared to attach his name to his comment. …

In just her third term, she has developed a fan base like 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s: Energized, fiercely loyal and capable of making a critic’s life miserable with threats of political retribution.