Another Woody Allen movie about a vain, misogynistic predator

From the San Francisco Chronicle’s Mick LaSalle, whose review of Allen’s latest, “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger,” is much too kind:

Josh Brolin is center stage as Roy, an American novelist in London who had one success and has since known nothing but failure. Everything is riding on his getting the new novel right, but meanwhile his wife (Naomi Watts) is pressuring him to start a family and complaining about their lack of money. He looks out the window and starts fantasizing about the young woman (Freida Pinto) in the apartment across the courtyard, who practices her cello every afternoon.

Allen has spent most of his life as a big-shot director, which is great, but it can be a disadvantage in writing seductive banter. A big-shot director can say anything to a young actress and she’ll keep smiling, but the rules are different for a broke middle-aged novelist. When Roy meets the young cellist, he tells her that he’s been staring at her through the window and spying on her with her boyfriend; and instead of throwing up or screaming, she smiles and is intrigued. But only in the film business are women that desperate.

I used to eagerly anticipate each new Woody Allen movie, often going to the theater the day they opened (along with 100 middle-aged Jewish women). That pattern ended with the turgedy “Celebrity,” featuring the worst Woody Allen impression ever by Kenneth Branagh. I left halfway through the terribly dated “Hollywood Ending,” which treated Tea Leoni worse than David Duchovny ever did. I vowed never again after 2008′s “Vicky Cristina Barcelona,” as pretentious as it was pointless.

It doesn’t look like I’ll be ending my boycott anytime soon. Like “The Simpsons,” Woody Allen has been largely irrelevant since the Millennium.

One more reason not to live in Nevada

I don’t enjoy gambling, and I’d hate to have to choose between a corrupt, entitled hack (Harry Reid) and DeMint-ed loon Sharron Angle, who believes reporters should “ask the questions we want to answer, so that they report the news the way we want it reported.” She’s more of a Second Amendment gal.

More proof that a serious third party is needed. Forget ideology; the Dems and GOP have been overtaken by pompous windbags and dim fanatics. And if they’re not corrupted yet, they will be.

Most annoying movie ever gets a sequel

Who will remake Kenny Loggins' crappy songs?

Vulture has learned that Paramount Pictures has made offers to both producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Tony Scott to follow up their action classic, and has a missile lock on Oscar-winning screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) to update the script, one in which Tom Cruise’s Maverick would play a smaller role. 

I wonder if he’ll recycle that classic line, “Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.”

Would I take my kids to Pride? No

Two reasons:

  • Kids are sexualized enough. That lout running for governor of New York was way too broad in his characterization of Pride marches, but you’re likely to see at least one scene of simulated sex, one pair of saggy titties and one bear in a leather jockstrap. It’s not a self-loathing thing; I wouldn’t take my kids to Mardi Gras, either.
  • I’d also prefer they not be exposed to the stereotypes and caricatures that tend to dominate Pride festivals.