I’m sticking with flicks I’ve actually seen, so no “Patch Adams” or Adam Sandler.
Tom Cruise, “Magnolia” I could focus on the irony of Cruise playing a cult leader, but, having portrayed Oberon, King of the Fairies in my high school’s production of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” I’ll pass.
But there’s no forgiving the atrocities visited upon the great Jason Robards in what would be his final film role. Imagine having to endure a weeping, badly overacting Scientologist warbling mournful Aimee Mann tunes as you lay dying. I would’ve pulled the plug.
Michael Moore, “Bowling for Columbine” “Roger and Me” holds up as one of the best documentaries ever made, and you gotta give props to anyone who gives the vile Rev. Fred Phelps his comeuppance (see clip). I was even sympathetic to some of his arguments in “Columbine” — too bad Moore’s big head kept getting in the way.
Whether it was chasing a senile Charlton Heston around or milking tears from a grieving school principal, Moore’s showboating called to mind the line in “Broadcast News,” when Albert Brooks reminded his journalist colleagues: “Let’s never forget, we’re the story.”
Joey Lauren Adams, “Chasing Amy” If Georgette from “Mary Tyler Moore Show” fame gargled erasers and cried a lot, she’d be Joey Lauren Adams. That’s not a plug. Bad actress, annoying voice, crappy flick.
Annette Bening, “American Beauty” Normally a fine actress, Bening’s performance as a suburban caricature was way over the top — all broad strokes minus any recognizable humanity. Had the movie focused on her character, it could’ve easily been re-titled: “National Lampoon Presents: Maniacal Suburban Bitch.”
Kevin Costner, “JFK” Bad Southern accents are a given in most Hollywood productions, but Costner’s stood out. He made Foghorn Leghorn sound authentic.
The cast of “St. Elmo’s Fire” Let’s review:
Bookish Mare Winningham wore a girdle.
Demi Moore tried to kill herself by opening all the windows in her apartment on a cold afternoon: “I know, I’ll freeze myself to death.”
Emilio Estevez stalked Andie McDowell and eventually won her love.
Andrew McCarthy, cynical writer. Enough said.
Rob Lowe, soulful saxophonist. Enough said.
The cast of “Very Bad Things” If the objective was to create singularly grating and loathsome characters, they succeeded. Worst movie ever.
So what did I miss?
Filed under: Film
Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and Haley Joe Osment in “Pay It Forward.” Yeah, “K-Pax” came later, but I’ll contend that “Pay It Forward” successfully killed off all three actor’s film careers (or in the case of Spacey, mortally wounded it).
I know that this is an annoying actor’s thread, but I hate all of Kevin Smith’s movies, not just the crap one you mentioned above. Some of my other annoying performances include:
Jennifer Jason Leigh in “Hudsucker Proxy”
Brad Pitt in “Twelve Monkeys”
James Spader in anything
The old bitty who plays Aunt Bea in the “Spiderman” movies
I’m sure there are a lot more, I just need a little time…
I knew better than to see “Pay it Forward,” though Helen Hunt’s Oscar for “As Good as it Gets” was a joke. She was better in “Quarterback Princess.”
I enjoyed her in “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR-_EDek43g
Paddy: I’d rather slit my wrist than watch a Kevin Smith movie. If directors actually had to apply for jobs, he’d be broke. And call me crazy, but there’s something about James Spader’s character on Boston Legal that I find quite entertaining. Nevermind the absurdity of the show itself.
We’re in agreement over Kevin Smith. He seems pretty insufferable in interviews, too, as if he’s some auteur.