the blurbomat

There’s no replacing Jackie Harvey, but I’ll try.

• Look up sexual tension in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Bonnie Franklin and Pat “Schneider” Harrington Jr. from “One Day at a Time”.  
• What can’t she do? Mary Hart and “ET” contributed the best political coverage of the campaign. 
• Television personality Pat O’Brien is the most genuine person I’ve ever met. 
• Finally saw the new “Batman” movie. People who say it’s best Batman film ever are batty. They must not have seen 1997′s “Batman & Robin,” with Arnold Schwarzenegger. His Mr. Freeze was the scariest villain ever, though he did have some great one-liners. Come back to Hollywood, Arnie. We miss you!
• Awards season is around the corner, but you won’t hear me talking about the Oscars. I’m still steamed that the academy didn’t give Richard Dreyfuss a little gold man for his brilliant performance in “Mr. Holland’s Opus”. Speaking of awards shows, make Ryan Seacrest the host for all of them and be done with it. He should change his name to Ryan Starcrest, ’cause that’s what he is. A star.  
• I’m feeling guilty. I watched “Patch Adams” again over the weekend and couldn’t help but laugh. I’d take the terminal illness if it meant having Robin Williams perform at my bedside. Help me, doctor, I think I busted a gut!
• I just learned Anne Hathaway isn’t a real princess. Could’ve fooled me. 
• I meant to vote Tuesday, I really did. But season 2 of “Falcon Crest” was on SOAPnet and, well, you understand. I love Nancy Reagan, but I still think Jane Wyman would’ve been a better First Lady. 
• So who’s going to play Barack Obama in the movie? Al Pacino gets my vote. 
• Doesn’t Sarah Palin remind you of that woman who wears the glasses on “Saturday Night Live”? Maybe it’s just me. 
• I hope Mr. Obama’s daughters follow in that fine tradition of children from political families who act. I don’t need to remind you of Gerald Ford’s talented son, Steven, or Michael Dukakis’ handsome boy, John. If only Mr. Obama had a sister as amazing and delightful as Olympia Dukakis.   
• Speaking of presidential siblings, I really miss Roger Clinton. What a voice! I always had the feeling that Bill was jealous of his brother’s talent. 
• Whenever I feel like shaking my booty I reach for the Quad City DJ’s CD. Come on, everybody, ride that train!
• It’s time O-Town received their due. Nothing says romance like “Liquid Dreams”.  
• A question for Mr. and Mrs. Jonas: How come your family got all the talent? 
• “The Family Circus” is just as relevant today as it was 50 years ago. That Jeffy is a real dickens! 
• I sure wish they’d publish a new “Sniglets” book. Stocking stuffers have never been funnier! 

the ghost of jefferson must intercede

Terry McAuliffe is apparently under the delusion that people find him likable.

Former Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe signed papers Monday signaling a possible run for governor next year in Virginia. 

McAuliffe told The Associated Press he set up a campaign committee and will tour Virginia for the next 60 days before making his candidacy certain.

What’s next, Senator Begala? Secretary Carville? Ambassador (Dick) Morris?

georgia’s most embarrassing congressman

Gotta be Lynn Westmoreland, right? Unfortunately, the bar has been lowered.

A Republican congressman from Georgia is calling President-elect Obama a Marxist and warning that he might be planning to form a Gestapo-like security force so he can rule as a dictator.

Two-term Rep. Paul Broun of Athens cited a July speech that has circulated on the Internet in which Obama called for a civilian force to take some of the national security burden off the military.

Broun won his seat after defeating another idiot who suggested the University of Georgia should be bombed, save for the football team. Once elected Broun introduced legislation that would ban pornography at U.S. military installations.

He attracted more unwanted attention when he compared the recent economic bailout plan to a cow patty with a marshmallow center.

the republican blame game

Latinos helped Democrats flip the battleground states of Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and Florida.

“Without the Latino vote, we would not have won those states,” said Federico Pena, Denver’s first Hispanic mayor and a national co-chairman of the Obama campaign.

In 2004 George Bush received nearly half the Latino vote. Last week, about two-thirds of Latinos voted for Obama.

I wonder why. Somehow I doubt talk radio, which fueled a hysterical over-reaction to the problem of illegal immigration, will shoulder any blame.