quite possibly the worst column ever written

Bush = Batman? A novelist makes the case — and apparently he’s serious.

There seems to me no question that the Batman film “The Dark Knight,” currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past.

And like W, Batman understands that there is no moral equivalence between a free society — in which people sometimes make the wrong choices — and a criminal sect bent on destruction. The former must be cherished even in its moments of folly; the latter must be hounded to the gates of Hell.

WOW!

about that word

Apologies in advance for posting a clip from “The View”:
To the weepy cheerleader: Why do you, as a white gal, feel the need to lecture blacks on their use of the n-word? To the old bag sitting to her left, why would you even ask if it’s okay for white people to say it? Certainly you know the answer.

And for the Caucasians who think it’s unfair that they can’t say the word, what’s your beef? Has the absence of the racial epithet left a gaping void in your vocabulary? Are you a frustrated wigger? (I’m reminded of “The Simpsons” episode starring John Waters, in which Homer insists on reclaiming the “q-word”: “I resent you people using that word. That’s our word for making fun of you! We need it!!”)

Why all the anguish? It’s the intent that matters, though the hand-wringers would rather avoid any and all confusion. Gots to dumb it down, ya know!

Watch the Chris Rock routine below, and ask yourself if it would’ve been as effective without the n-word? And please, try not to cry.

name the lamest

A tough choice: Rick Dees or Pat O’Brien?

i’ve never been more wrong

The first time I saw “Dazed and Confused,” I stayed through the credits. I had to know the name of the genius behind David Wooderson. Matthew McConaughey — never heard of him, but that’s gonna change.

I was right about his impending fame, but wrong — very wrong — to assume he had any talent, though he is quite adept at annoying me.

His latest looks utterly abysmal — I’m talking “Gigli” bad. Watch, if you dare.