mtv is evil (cont’d)

I’d as soon watch James Carville go down on Mary Matalin as sit through the MTV Movie Awards, the worst of all the self-congratulatory celebrity jerkoffs. Pat Sajak eating a mayonnaise sandwich while reading a Ziggy compilation is edgier.

This year the Evil Empire took it upon itself to rehabilitate Tom Cruise’s tattered reputation (scoring even more brownie points with the Cult of Scientology by giving an award to prized recruit Will Smith).  

So did the shallow charisma implant take? To hear MTV tell it, Cruise is back in control!

Is it just us or did Tom Cruise come across as massively sane, funny, and um almost cool tonight? Maybe it was the moment when we saw Tom chatting up “Tropic Thunder” buddy Ben Stiller. Or maybe it was when Katie Holmes sweetly wished him “good luck” before he made his way to the big stage. One of our favorite moments surely came when we saw Tom backstage with Sarah Jessica Parker. She practically looked like she was meeting royalty.

Rock!

Watch out for this MTV blogger — he’s going places, though parroting your corporate overlords while sneaking in a plug for a soon-to-be-released major motion picture is, um, definitely not cool. 

Then there was the big show where Tom won us over by repeatedly referring to MTV Generation Award winner Adam Sandler as “the Sandman.” Tom Cruise has comic timing? You’ve come a long way from your couch jumping, Tom. Welcome back.

And people say Scientologists have no sense of humor! To be fair, Cruise is funnier than the “Sandman” (tee hee), whose popularity never ceases to baffle. And as if he’s not irritating enough, Sandler is also responsible for Rob Schneider’s career.

Radical Islamists could engender some real empathy if they’d choose their targets more wisely (hint, hint).