Good News For The Anchorman

And bad news for America. Mitt Romney, who leads convincingly in Iowa and New Hampshire, is within a point of Fred Thompson’s lead in South Carolina. He may trail in national polls, but if The Anchorman goes three-for-three, he’ll have more than enough momentum to secure the nomination.

He also picked up a key endorsement today: Paul Weyrich, the former co-founder of The Moral Majority and an influential figure among Christian fundamentalists.

The Religious Right seems to be coalescing behind Romney, even though they think Mormons will burn in Hell.

“Of Course I’m For Employment And Working”

Classic films, classic scenes:

Miss Michigan has a message for the unemployed in Flint: “Keep your fingers crossed for me as I go for the gold in two weeks.” They must’ve listened (from “Roger & Me,” the best documentary ever made).

Too bad Michael Moore decided to become a character instead of an observer — he was really gifted as the latter.

411 Is a Joke!

Once upon a time, you dialed 411, an operator answered immediately and, within five seconds, you had your number, or an automatic connection.

Today, I called 411, went though about 15 seconds of recorded messages, held for the number and was disconnected. Repeat. The third time, I made sure to get the number directly from the operator. It was incorrect.

As with so many other things, what was once a convenience is now a hassle.

Blame it on “The Grid.”

   

Onion Du Jour

Atlanta Running Out Of Water

By Army Corps of Engineers estimates, the city of Atlanta could run out of water in about 100 days. What do you think?

Cole Dalton,
Banker
"Oh no! Then where will I go for various conventions?"

Nobody Likes a Skinny Santa

Santa told to slim down for Christmas to ‘set a good example’

This is not a joke.

Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, Kent, has even gone one step further and set-up a Santa boot camp.

Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said: “Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.

“Bluewater’s Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolise him.

“He will still be the same lovable jolly man, but will be fitter and healthier.”

Has she never seen “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” when Mrs. Claus implores her husband to bulk up?

“Eat, Papa, eat. Nobody likes a skinny Santa.”

Turns out that exchange has been reworded to mollify PC bullies. According to John Aravosis, a number of sites complained that the line promoted bulimia.

Coming soon: a black, bisexual Easter Bunny. I mean, a black, bisexual Spring Bunny. 

Would You Hire a Deranged Lunatic?

Resolved: Those who believe 9/11 was an inside job are whack jobs. They’d be dangerous if more people took them seriously.

Resolved: Rosie O’Donnell is a "9/11 Truther." She once wrote this on her blog (which contains several 9/11 conspiracy links):

• The fires in WTC 7 were not evenly distributed, so a perfect collapse was impossible.
• Silverstein said to the fire department commander “the smartest thing to do is pull it.”
• Firefighters withdrawing from the area stated the building was going to “blow up”.
• The roof of WTC 7 visibly crumbled and the building collapsed perfectly into its footprint.
• Molten steel and partially evaporated steel members were found in the debris.

Those assertions have been debunked by scores of reputable, independent sources, most notably Popular Mechanics. Anyone who continues to push the conspiracy angle should be ostracized. Of course they have the right to be an ill-informed moron, but why provide a forum?

Rosie O’Donnell, who abruptly left “The View” on ABC last spring after drawing attention and ratings for her opinions on everything from the Iraq war to her co-hosts, is in serious discussions to return to television atop a new soapbox: a prime-time show on the cable news channel MSNBC, according to executives on both sides of the negotiations who have been briefed directly.

Has MSNBC lost its mind? No doubt Fat Toad lost hers long ago.

Hillary’s Enablers

Any respect I might’ve had for Geraldine Ferraro just went out the window:

“John Edwards, specifically, as well as the press, would never attack Barack Obama for two hours they way they attacked her,” said Geraldine A. Ferraro, the 1984 vice presidential candidate who supports Mrs. Clinton. “It’s O.K. in this country to be sexist,” Ms. Ferraro said.

“It’s certainly not O.K. to be racist. I think if Barack Obama had been attacked for two hours — well, I don’t think Barack Obama would have been attacked for two hours.” …

“We can’t let them do this in a presidential race,” she said. “They say we’re playing the gender card. We are not. We are not. We have got to stand up. It’s discrimination against her as a candidate because she is a woman.”

I guess Ferraro prefers Hillbot be patronized.

The Party of Gay Bashing, Torture and NASCAR

Oh yeah, and faux patriotism. Intelligence can only be insulted so much, but that isn’t stopping the GOP.

In Kentucky, incumbent Gov. Ernie Fletcher is trailing badly in the polls to a Democrat. Desperate times call for queer bashing and Pat Boone, at least if you’re a Republican:

Hello friends this is Pat Boone a fellow Kentuckian by descent from grandaddy Dan’l. I’ve always been proud of Kentucky’s stance on patriotic, military and moral issues; a great heritage. Now, as an American and a Christian I am very conservative about the upcoming governor’s election. Ernie Fletcher is a typical Kentuckian, he’s worked long and hard for the state, its people, and its traditions. And, of course, he has come under attack by political opponents and now he faces a man who wants his job who has consistently supported every homosexual cause: same sex marriage, gay adoption, special rights, to gay, lesbian, bisexual, even transgender individuals.

The problem (inaudible) gay advocacy groups (inaudible) enthusiastically endorse Bashear, knowing he’s their guy. Kentuckians have already voted to amend the state constitution to prohibit same sex marriage. Now, do you want governor who’d like Kentucky to be like another San Francisco? Please reelect Ernie Fletcher.

This message paid for by the Kentucky Republican Party.

Look for Mitt Romney to turn to Larry Gatlin — and queer bashing — in those final days before he’s defeated by (God help us all) Hillbot.

Reading Between the Lines

I doubt Bush 41 intended it as such, but he seemed to be making a powerful statement against torture Sunday in a Fox News interview:

Wallace: “The President remembered the courage and humanity of American soldiers and he grew emotional.”

Bush: “My favorite picture is a picture of American soldiers surrounding a guy whose been in a foxhole, Iraqi soldier, and the American guy says, we’re not going to harm you, we’re American soldiers.” (fights back tears)

Bush: “…See, that side of the war never got — the fact that we treated those people with respect in spite of the fact they were the enemy, it’s really good.

Did you ever think you’d be nostalgic for GHWB? As Crooks and Liars points out, such views would have Bush 41 branded a coward if he were running for president today.

 

What Not To Say If You’re a GOP Presidential Candidate

“Anyone who knows what waterboarding is could not be unsure. It is a horrible torture technique used by Pol Pot and being used on Buddhist monks as we speak,” said McCain after a campaign stop at Dordt College here.

“People who have worn the uniform and had the experience know that this is a terrible and odious practice and should never be condoned in the U.S. We are a better nation than that.”

As for his Republican opponents, McCain said, “They should know what it is. It is not a complicated procedure. It is torture.”

I guess he didn’t get the memo: The GOP is the party of torture, er, enhanced interrogation techniques. Someone who actually knows what it’s like to be tortured is dismissed in favor of Dick Cheney, who chose not to fight for his country when he had the chance.

“It’s a Hard World For Little Things”

Classic films, classic scenes:

Lillian Gish stands guard against Robert Mitchum, from "The Night of the Hunter," the only film ever directed by legendary actor Charles Laughton. While regarded as a classic today, the movie was a critical and commercial failure upon its release in 1955. No doubt it was ahead of its time.

For those who haven’t seen it, "The Night of the Hunter" airs tonight at 8 p.m. on Turner Classic Movies. Do yourself a favor and watch an American masterpiece.

Good News For The Anchorman

And bad news for America. Mitt Romney, who leads convincingly in Iowa and New Hampshire, is within a point of Fred Thompson’s lead in South Carolina. He may trail in national polls, but if The Anchorman goes three-for-three, he’ll have more than enough momentum to secure the nomination.

He also picked up a key endorsement today: Paul Weyrich, the former co-founder of The Moral Majority and an influential figure among Christian fundamentalists.

The Religious Right seems to be coalescing behind Romney, even though they think Mormons will burn in Hell.

“Of Course I’m For Employment And Working”

Classic films, classic scenes:

Miss Michigan has a message for the unemployed in Flint: "Keep your fingers crossed for me as I go for the gold in two weeks." They must’ve listened (from "Roger & Me," the best documentary ever made).

Too bad Michael Moore decided to become a character instead of an observer — he was really gifted as the latter.

411 Is a Joke!

Once upon a time, you dialed 411, an operator answered immediately and, within five seconds, you had your number, or an automatic connection.

Today, I called 411, went though about 15 seconds of recorded messages, held for the number and was disconnected. Repeat. The third time, I made sure to get the number directly from the operator. It was incorrect.

As with so many other things, what was once a convenience is now a hassle.

Blame it on "The Grid."

   

Nobody Likes a Skinny Santa

Santa told to slim down for Christmas to ‘set a good example’

This is not a joke.

Bluewater shopping centre in Greenhithe, Kent, has even gone one step further and set-up a Santa boot camp.

Fiona Campbell-Reilly, spokeswoman at the shopping centre, said: "Santa has been around for years, but society has changed and our Santa needs to reflect this.

"Bluewater’s Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolise him.

"He will still be the same lovable jolly man, but will be fitter and healthier."

Has she never seen "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer," when Mrs. Claus implores her husband to bulk up?

"Eat, Papa, eat. Nobody likes a skinny Santa."

Turns out that exchange has been reworded to mollify PC bullies. According to John Aravosis, a number of sites complained that the line promoted bulimia.

Coming soon: a black, bisexual Easter Bunny. I mean, a black, bisexual Spring Bunny.