Today’s must-read

Check out Ron Rosenbaum’s savage dissection of Esquire magazine’s Angelina Jolie cover story. The actress, according to the president of her fan club writer, “is the best woman in the world.”

Why?

“(B)ecause she is the most famous woman in the world—because she is not like you or me.”

It gets worse:

“She fulfills her vision of herself as the underdog; because she’s the underdog she connects to the world’s genuine underdogs … and so, in the end, finds meaning and a measure of happiness. It is the kind of conversion encouraged by all of the world’s major religions, but because celebrity is the religion in question here, the conversion of Angelina Jolie is regarded as out of reach—the function of fame and privilege.”

As Rosenbaum points out, this kind of fawning is routine.

The rules of the game, as established by the glossy magazines and the stars’ PR reps, ensure that “access” (well, a half-hour chat in a restaurant that enables the magazine to proclaim it has an “exclusive” interview) and the all-important exclusive cover shot are granted only to those magazines and journalists who will refrain from anything but fawning prose. It works out well for everybody. Celebrity journalists who play along get a good payday, magazines get newsstand sales bumps, and the rest of us are inculcated into the received myths of Celebland, the legends that sustain the illusion that it is somehow truly important.

Having briefly inhabited that world, I can vouch that celebrity journalists rank a rung below attorneys who advertise.

An unapologetic apology I can defend

I despise the pseudo-mea culpa, the forced public apology that usually begins with, “I’m sorry if anyone was offended …” In other words, go fuck yourself.

But this is an exception I can tolerate: “Obviously we are sorry if there are people who have taken very much to heart this honour, which is after all for a lifelong body of literary work.”

I would’ve rather the British foreign secretary told Muslims offended by Salman Rushdie’s impending knighthood to go fuck themselves, but I’m not one for diplomacy. And besides, Margaret Beckett was standing next to Iraq’s foreign minister at the time.

Notice she didn’t apologize for Rushdie’s honor. So far, the Brits are maintaining a stiff upper spine:

Earlier, Home Secretary John Reid said Britain would not apologise for making the writer Sir Salman, despite the protests.

“We have very strong laws about promoting racial intolerance. It isn’t a free-for-all. We’ve thought very carefully about it,” Reid said.

“But we have a right to express opinions and a tolerance of other people’s point of view, and we don’t apologise for that.”

The blogosphere says what?

So many amazing things to report today. First off, just got my tickets to Xtina’s “Back to Basics” tour, which I hear is amazing. That’s one thing Rand-O and I agree on: our love for the amazing Miss Aguilera.

Just saw the new “Fantasic Four” movie and let me tell you: it was an amazing thrill ride. And, I know it’s weird to have a crush on a guy made of silver, but the surfer is amazingly hot.

Isn’t the weather today amazing? It’s been so humid lately, but today it feels just like spring. BTW, if you want a treat for your ears, buy the new “Best of” C&C Music Factory compilation. “Gonna Make You Sweat” has never sounded more amazing.

Are you amazed at how fast summer’s going? One good thing — Pride’s almost here. I predict it’s going to be an amazing weekend.

Okay, bitches, gotta go and get my pride on. Have an amazing day!

Mason vs. Dixon

I understand why the South mistrusts the rest of the country. I also understand why the rest of the country is fed up with the South.

Here’s what I don’t understand — stupid, unsophisticated Southerners upset at being portrayed as stupid and unsophisticated. There’s consequences when you make Jeff Foxworthy famous. Live with it.

Of course we’re not all stupid and unsophisticated, regardless of what the rest of the close minded country thinks. Those of us who aren’t have to put up with a lot of shit.

While living on the Left Coast, I was frequently solicited for racist and/or backward jokes. Hey, he’s Southern, he’ll get it. I was a disappointment to those people.

Laroq774_a_normal_3I’ve mentioned before how one suitor — John Larroquette‘s personal assistant (impressed?) — insisted I lose my accent lest people think me hebetudinous (not a direct quote). That pissed me off. It wasn’t the first time.

To be fair, the rest of the country has put up with considerable shit from the former Confederacy. John Edwards recently declared he has an advantage over Hillary and Obama because he can draw voters from across the U.S. — indeed, the South has essentially decided every election since 1972. We’re responsible for Carter AND Bush. We should be ashamed.

I’d like to declare a truce, but I don’t know if a solution can be found. Parts north, east and west will continue to underestimate us, while Southerners will continue to wield undue influence. There should be a middle ground, but no one wants to find it. Stereotyping — and power grabbing — is much easier.

Today’s must-read

Check out Ron Rosenbaum’s savage dissection of Esquire magazine’s Angelina Jolie cover story. The actress, according to the president of her fan club writer, “is the best woman in the world.”

Why?

“(B)ecause she is the most famous woman in the world—because she is not like you or me.”

It gets worse:

“She fulfills her vision of herself as the underdog; because she’s the underdog she connects to the world’s genuine underdogs … and so, in the end, finds meaning and a measure of happiness. It is the kind of conversion encouraged by all of the world’s major religions, but because celebrity is the religion in question here, the conversion of Angelina Jolie is regarded as out of reach—the function of fame and privilege.”

As Rosenbaum points out, this kind of fawning is routine.

The rules of the game, as established by the glossy magazines and the stars’ PR reps, ensure that “access” (well, a half-hour chat in a restaurant that enables the magazine to proclaim it has an “exclusive” interview) and the all-important exclusive cover shot are granted only to those magazines and journalists who will refrain from anything but fawning prose. It works out well for everybody. Celebrity journalists who play along get a good payday, magazines get newsstand sales bumps, and the rest of us are inculcated into the received myths of Celebland, the legends that sustain the illusion that it is somehow truly important.

Having briefly inhabited that world, I can vouch that celebrity journalists rank a rung below attorneys who advertise.

An unapologetic apology I can defend

I despise the pseudo-mea culpa, the forced public apology that usually begins with, “I’m sorry if anyone was offended …” In other words, go fuck yourself.

But this is an exception I can tolerate: “Obviously we are sorry if there are people who have taken very much to heart this honour, which is after all for a lifelong body of literary work.”

I would’ve rather the British foreign secretary told Muslims offended by Salman Rushdie’s impending knighthood to go fuck themselves, but I’m not one for diplomacy. And besides, Margaret Beckett was standing next to Iraq’s foreign minister at the time.

Notice she didn’t apologize for Rushdie’s honor. So far, the Brits are maintaining a stiff upper spine:

Earlier, Home Secretary John Reid said Britain would not apologise for making the writer Sir Salman, despite the protests.

“We have very strong laws about promoting racial intolerance. It isn’t a free-for-all. We’ve thought very carefully about it,” Reid said.

“But we have a right to express opinions and a tolerance of other people’s point of view, and we don’t apologise for that.”

The blogosphere says what?

So many amazing things to report today. First off, just got my tickets to Xtina’s “Back to Basics” tour, which I hear is amazing. That’s one thing Rand-O and I agree on: our love for the amazing Miss Aguilera.

Just saw the new “Fantasic Four” movie and let me tell you: it was an amazing thrill ride. And, I know it’s weird to have a crush on a guy made of silver, but the surfer is amazingly hot.

Isn’t the weather today amazing? It’s been so humid lately, but today it feels just like spring. BTW, if you want a treat for your ears, buy the new “Best of” C&C Music Factory compilation. “Gonna Make You Sweat” has never sounded more amazing.

Are you amazed at how fast summer’s going? One good thing — Pride’s almost here. I predict it’s going to be an amazing weekend.

Okay, bitches, gotta go and get my pride on. Have an amazing day!

Where’s “St. Elmo’s Fire?”

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By any reasonable measure, “Being There” deserves to be among the 400 movies nominated for the American Film Institute’s “100 Greatest Films” ever. Not so. “Hannah and Her Sisters” was also excluded. So was “The Americanization of Emily,” “Barfly,” “The Bad News Bears,” “Crimes and Misdemeanors,” “Ghost World,” “Lolita” (the original), “Lone Star,” “Miller’s Crossing,” “The Player,” “Sid and Nancy,” “Straw Dogs” and “Zelig,” to name a few very worthy flicks.

“American Beauty” — the second most overrated film of the last 10 years — made the cut. So did the first Austin Powers movie, “As Good as It Gets,” “Apollo 13″ and Martin Scorsese’s most boring film, “The Aviator” (though not as boring as Ron Howard’s most interesting movie). And that’s just the A’s.

What else qualifies as an AFI classic?

“Big,” “Boogie Nights” — the most overrated movie EVER, ” “Born on the Fourth of July,” “Chicago,” “Dead Poets Society,” “The English Patient,” “Erin Brockovich,” “Finding Nemo,” “Ghostbusters,” “Jerry Maguire,” “Love Story,” “The Matrix,” “Moulin Rogue!” “Mystic River,” “Philadelphia,” “Pirates of the Carribean,” “Shrek,” “Spider-Man 2″ … I could’ve named more.

Obviously the AFI doesn’t take its list very seriously, opting for popularity over art. Do the people who made this list really believe “Shrek” is a better flick than “Being There?” Maybe if they’re an idiot, a prepubescent or a publicity whore.

Inspiring words from Hillary

So why is she running for president?

“(B)ecause I believe if we set big goals and we work together to achieve them, we can restore the American dream today and for the next generation.” Clinton also believes that “we can give people the education and opportunities they need to fulfill their God-given potentials,” and that “the foundation of a strong economy is the investments we make in each other.”

As Anne Applebaum observed, who could possibly disagree?