The year’s worst movie

Will it be "License to Wed" (starring Robin Williams),  "Good Luck Chuck" (starring Dane Cook) or "Evan Almighty" (starring Steve "yet another sellout" Carell)?

You can check out any time you like

Al Kosa sounds off on obnoxious Yankee transplants:

I’ll skip the carping about foreign fans invading, except to say that it incenses me far more than it should. I feel as if something I hold dear is being desecrated. And today I find myself wondering why all those people who bitch about how they can’t find a proper (fill in the blank — pizza/deli sandwich/snow plow) in Atlanta and cling to their New England/Midwest/New York ways they cherish so much — I wonder why they ever left those urban nirvanas for our benighted South.

Where’s “St. Elmo’s Fire?”

By any reasonable measure, "Being There" deserves to be among the 400 movies nominated for the American Film Institute’s "100 Greatest Films" ever. Not so. "Hannah and Her Sisters" was also excluded. So was "The Americanization of Emily," "Barfly," "The Bad News Bears," "Crimes and Misdemeanors," "Ghost World," "Lolita" (the original), "Lone Star," "Miller’s Crossing," "The Player," "Sid and Nancy," "Straw Dogs" and "Zelig," to name a few very worthy flicks.

"American Beauty" — the second most overrated film of the last 10 years — made the cut. So did the first Austin Powers movie, "As Good as It Gets," "Apollo 13" and Martin Scorsese’s most boring film, "The Aviator" (though not as boring as Ron Howard’s most interesting movie). And that’s just the A’s.

What else qualifies as an AFI classic?

"Big," "Boogie Nights" — the most overrated movie EVER, " "Born on the Fourth of July," "Chicago," "Dead Poets Society," "The English Patient," "Erin Brockovich," "Finding Nemo," "Ghostbusters," "Jerry Maguire," "Love Story," "The Matrix," "Moulin Rogue!" "Mystic River," "Philadelphia," "Pirates of the Carribean," "Shrek," "Spider-Man 2" … I could’ve named more.

Obviously the AFI doesn’t take its list very seriously, opting for popularity over art. Do the people who made this list really believe "Shrek" is a better flick than "Being There?" Maybe if they’re an idiot, a prepubescent or a publicity whore.

On top of everything else, she has terrible taste in music

Hillary has chosen a campaign theme song: “You and I,” by Celine Dion.

John Travolta is a brainwashed idiot (cont’d)

“I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is (psychotropic) drugs at the bottom of it.”

(quoted in the new issue of W magazine)

Inspiring words from Hillary

So why is she running for president?

"(B)ecause I believe if we set big goals and we work together to achieve them, we can restore the American dream today and for the next generation." Clinton also believes that "we can give people the education and opportunities they need to fulfill their God-given potentials," and that "the foundation of a strong economy is the investments we make in each other."

As Anne Applebaum observed, who could possibly disagree?

You can check out any time you like

Al Kosa sounds off on obnoxious Yankee transplants:

I’ll skip the carping about foreign fans invading, except to say that it incenses me far more than it should. I feel as if something I hold dear is being desecrated. And today I find myself wondering why all those people who bitch about how they can’t find a proper (fill in the blank — pizza/deli sandwich/snow plow) in Atlanta and cling to their New England/Midwest/New York ways they cherish so much — I wonder why they ever left those urban nirvanas for our benighted South.

An open letter to the Muslim world

Please, grow up and mind your own business.

The UK wants to honor an accomplished author who, 18 years ago, wrote a book you didn’t like. So you respond with threats of violence, promising bloodshed unless the queen rescinds Salman Rushdie’s knighthood.

Where do you come off making demands? We look the other way (regrettably) while you subjugate women, hang homosexuals and stone apostates. Yet you’re offended by a cartoon. If you want to live in the 14th Century, go ahead. Just don’t expect it of us.

And let’s watch the irony:

In Pakistan, where effigies of the Queen and 59-year-old Rushdie were burned, a minister appeared to justify suicide bombings as a response to the knighthood.

This is an occasion for the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims to look at the seriousness of this decision,” said Mohammed Ijaz ul-Haq, Pakistan’s religious affairs minister.

“The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism,” he told his country’s parliament.

“If someone exploded a bomb on his body he would be right to do so, unless the British government apologises and withdraws the ‘sir’ title.”

So the West (unfairly?) accuses Muslims of extremism and terrorism — and then you suggest someone strap a bomb to their body unless the Brits genuflect? Is that what passes for reason in Pakistan?

I’m tired of understanding the unconscionable. I’m told Islam is not a peaceful religion, but mounting evidence dictates otherwise. Extremists have taken control, and they show no signs of relenting.

(Already the Japanese language translator of “The Satanic Verses” has been stabbed to death. The Italian translator was seriously injured in a stabbing, while its Norwegian publisher survived an assassination attempt. All over a book. And the fatwa against Rushdie remains in place.) 

We make no apologies for choosing modernity. Most of us celebrate art, and our differences. We may protest, but we do so peacefully.

And, hopefully, we’ll stand firm against would-be oppressors of free speech.

(To show your support for Sir Salman — click here.)

On top of everything else, she has terrible taste in music

Hillary has chosen a campaign theme song: "You and I," by Celine Dion.

John Travolta is a brainwashed idiot (cont’d)

“I still think that if you analyze most of the school shootings, it is not gun control. It is (psychotropic) drugs at the bottom of it.”

(quoted in the new issue of W magazine)

An open letter to the Muslim world

Please, grow up and mind your own business.

The UK wants to honor an accomplished author who, 18 years ago, wrote a book you didn’t like. So you respond with threats of violence, promising bloodshed unless the queen rescinds Salman Rushdie’s knighthood.

Where do you come off making demands? We look the other way (regrettably) while you subjugate women, hang homosexuals and stone apostates. Yet you’re offended by a cartoon. If you want to live in the 14th Century, go ahead. Just don’t expect it of us.

And let’s watch the irony:

In Pakistan, where effigies of the Queen and 59-year-old Rushdie were burned, a minister appeared to justify suicide bombings as a response to the knighthood.

This is an occasion for the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims to look at the seriousness of this decision," said Mohammed Ijaz ul-Haq, Pakistan’s religious affairs minister.

"The West is accusing Muslims of extremism and terrorism," he told his country’s parliament.

"If someone exploded a bomb on his body he would be right to do so, unless the British government apologises and withdraws the ‘sir’ title."

So the West (unfairly?) accuses Muslims of extremism and terrorism — and then you suggest someone strap a bomb to their body unless the Brits genuflect? Is that what passes for reason in Pakistan?

I’m tired of understanding the unconscionable. I’m told Islam is not a peaceful religion, but mounting evidence dictates otherwise. Extremists have taken control, and they show no signs of relenting.

(Already the Japanese language translator of "The Satanic Verses" has been stabbed to death. The Italian translator was seriously injured in a stabbing, while its Norwegian publisher survived an assassination attempt. All over a book. And the fatwa against Rushdie remains in place.) 

We make no apologies for choosing modernity. Most of us celebrate art, and our differences. We may protest, but we do so peacefully.

And, hopefully, we’ll stand firm against would-be oppressors of free speech.

(To show your support for Sir Salman — click here.)

Maya Angelou du jour

A new feature highlighting the worst poet ever:

Pretty woman wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to fit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Get the red out

I understand there are many Boston transplants in the ATL. But 20,000, all at Turner Field tonight? Don’t think so. While I have no problem with those who stick by their home team (I remained loyal to the Braves when I relocated to LA), I have zero tolerance for those who pick their favorites based on trendiness.   

Unfortunately, most of those people live in Atlanta (for basketball fans, they are the losers who show up at Hawks games wearing Kobe Bryant jerseys).

I hate them all. I want to punch them. Particularly when they cheer loudly for a visitor to beat their hometown team. Particularly when they are as obnoxious as Red Sox fans (bandwagon or otherwise).

They have no shame. I want to punch them.

Thus, I won’t be going to the Ted the next three nights. I should be there, standing up for the Bravos, but I can’t stomach the infiltration of Red Sox nation. Watching the Braves lose is bad enough; watching the Braves lose while a third of the stadium cheers is even worse.

PC acronyms gone wild

From the Audre Lorde Project:

The Audre Lorde Project (ALP) celebrates a growing movement for immigrant rights in the United States. We proudly marched and stood with other Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two Spirit,Trans and Gender Non-Conforming (LGBTSTGNC) People of Color (POC) organizations and individuals, organizations from the LGBT community, and organizations from the Queens-based Immigrant Communities in Action coalition on April 10, 2006.

That’s L-G-B-TS-T-GNC. What are Two Spirits?

It usually implies a masculine spirit and a feminine spirit living in the same body. It is also used by some contemporary gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and intersex Native Americans to describe themselves.

Sing along with me: We are lesbian, gay, bisexual, two spirit, trans, gender non-conforming and straight together …

Deep thoughts

Former senator Mike Gravel is running for president, and he has absolutely nothing to say — watch here.