The worst 20 — and counting — pop songs ever (cont’d)

I’m going to have to expand the list. Something just made me think of “She’s Like the Wind,” by Patrick Swayze, the 17th song to join the countdown. Then Miss Ellie reminded me of Richard Marx — and I’ve still yet to make room for Michael Bolton. Let’s call it 25 … or 30?

Throw the bitch in jail

What would happen if you twice violated probation, failed to enroll in a court-ordered alcohol education program and then showed up to court 10 minutes late?

You’d be in jail. Why shouldn’t the same fate be visited upon Paris Hilton?

The downside: 24/7 Paris coverage, as long as she was behind bars (prosecutors are recommending 45 days). And the inevitable “Free Paris” T-shirts.