Well, V-Day was a total bust, but don’t worry, ya’ll, it wasn’t Rand-O’s fault. Blame it on Hallmark. I was there yesterday, looking for a card for my baby doll, and it occurred to me — there’s no same-sex Valentine’s Day cards! I was so offended I just collapsed into fetal position and started weeping. The clerk came over and asked me to stop making a scene and then I really lost it.
“Oh, so now I know what it takes for you to notice me!” He totally didn’t get it! I wept some more then finally mustered the courage to rise to my feet and march out of that homophobic store. I had been already been offended 46 times that day but nowhere near as bad as that.
A point needed to be made, and you know me, ya’ll, I like to raise me a ruckus :) So I started calling all my peeps, asking them to join me for for a weep-in at Hallmark. They couldn’t ignore us then. Except no one was interested. Not one. I was so offended — even more offended than I had been 15 minutes earlier when the guy at McDonald’s asked me if I wanted to supersize my meal. What did he mean by that, that I’m some fattie who can’t get by on a quarter pounder with cheese and a medium fries? Or was he making fun of me for being gay?
I asked him, and he acted all innocent. That really offended me. Do you know hard it is to eat a hamburger when you’re crying?
So my weep-in failed. People just don’t care about changing the world, I guess. My Valentine’s Day was ruined. I told Randy that I needed to be alone. He’s so understanding, he was totally okay with it.
There I was, all by myself, crying, listening to my “Best of Charlene” CD. Then it hit me — I can’t give up! I had to keep on believing, ’cause that’s when dreams come true.
And my dream, of a gay greeting card store, will come true, so me and my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters will never again have to feel that isolation I experienced at Hallmark. I’m going to make sure of it.
Now sing along with me and my gal Charlene:
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It’s a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we’d like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It’s that little baby you’re holding, it’s that man you fought with this morning
The same one you’re going to make love with tonight
That’s truth, that’s love……
Hugs and kisses, ya’ll.
I am so offended by this offensive blog entry. I have been crying about it since early this morning…
Making fun of Laura Mallory’s blog again, eh? Shame on you.