The blogosphere says what?

Well, peeps, I learned a very valuable lesson this week. Sometimes, we don’t celebrate our differences enough. And I was just as guilty as the next gal!

For a while I was beginning to wonder just what made me love Randy in the first place. It seemed we had drifted apart. We’ve always been different — he loved ‘N Sync, and I loved the Backstreet Boys. He was an O-Town freak, while I swooned to 98 Degrees. He laughs at "The Ladies Man," but I’m more of a "Night at the Roxbury" fan.

And on and on. Like I told you before, he even likes jelly on his waffles. I know, right?

But that’s okay. All this to say Rand-O and I are back together, and it’s soooooooooooooooooo great ya’ll. Many tears have been shed — I missed three days of work because of the pain and heartbreak. But we’ve reconciled. It’s our differences that make us great, and it’s what makes us such a fantabulous couple. .

Besides, there’s some things we both love. Like "our song," Toni Braxton’s "Unbreak My Heart." And we love to cuddle on cold winter mornings. And raw cookie dough (I ain’t gonna tell you what we do with that! He hee, I’m sooooooooo naughty, just like Rand-O!!!)

We’re kinda like Laverne (him) and Shirley (me). Alone, we struggle, but together, there’s nothing we can’t accomplish:

Give us any chance, we’ll take it.
Give us any rule, we’ll break it.
We’re gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin’ it our way.

Michael Richards is a racist jerk

Kramer may have been one of the more likable characters on TV, but the actor who played him is anything but:

Richards, who played the wacky Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show “Seinfeld,” appeared onstage at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. Kyle Doss, an African-American, told TMZ he and some friends were in the cheap seats and he was playfully heckling Richards when suddenly, the comedian lost it.

The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, “Fifty years ago we’d have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.”

Richards continued, “You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! A nigger, look, there’s a nigger!”

The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, “They’re going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger.

Malcontenter Stanley Roper had his own brush with Richards back when he worked as an extra on the actor’s ill-fated follow-up to “Seinfeld.”

Once on a set i was standing leaning against the wall, he walked by and hip checked me, then looked back and glared.

Another time i was in a restaurant scene and he was doing something where he got into a fight, and kept throwing a chair inches from ny head. Then when Danny (a friend of ours) was playing a cook in a diner, he kept jumping through the little window and hitting Danny, throwing stuff all over him, just going way over the top

Then he left about 40 extras, full camera crew, and all of the directors standing around for maybe 3 hours waiting for him to stop yelling at what looked like network execs, this was right before they dropped his show.

The guy is just a high strung, egotistical asshole, the worst i ever saw out of all of those shows I worked on.

My morning Barium

I wasn’t too worried about my Upper GI this morning — until I heard the woman in the examination stall next to me.

“Heavenly Father, thank you for saving my soul. Please Jesus, help me through this. Bless my children, my mother, my father, my sisters. Help John and Tina, help them get back to church …”

She repeated this prayer, in thick mountain twang, about a half-dozen times, as if the plane was going down and she had minutes to live. I started getting worried, then annoyed. Fortunately — or unfortunately — the acrid taste of the Barium drowned out her lamentations.

Denial ain’t just a club outside McMaynerbury!

Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry insisted on Sunday his “botched joke” about President Bush’s Iraq policy would not undermine a possible White House campaign in 2008.

“Not in the least,” Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee in said when asked if the furor over his comment had caused him to reconsider a 2008 race. “The parlor game of who’s up, who’s down, today or tomorrow, if I listened to that stuff, I would never have won the nomination.”

Might I suggest that, if you lose an election to George W. Bush, you’re never allowed to run for president again.

Bush nominates The Church Lady to oversee family planning

Actually, Dr. Erick Keroack is a man, but so is Dana Carvey:

Eric Keroack is the medical director of an antiabortion “pregnancy counseling” center that refuses to distribute contraceptives or encourage their use — even by married couples. The organization, called “A Woman’s Concern,” says it is “persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality, and adverse to human health and happiness.” It believes — despite abundant evidence to the contrary — that making birth control available, “especially among adolescents, actually increases (rather than decreases) out-of-wedlock pregnancy and abortion.”

These views would be merely bizarre were it not for this additional disturbing fact: Dr. Keroack, an obstetrician-gynecologist, is about to start work at the Department of Health and Human Services, overseeing federally funded family planning programs. To put it simply, the Bush administration’s choice to direct the federal effort to make contraceptives available to low-income women works for a group that doesn’t support using contraception. What comes next — a science adviser who doesn’t believe in evolution?

And, according to Andrew Sullivan, Keroack once posited that too much sex causes brain damage. Is that why I was so stupid in my 20s?

Cumming soon

Are you ready for Global Orgasm Day?

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

“The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it,” Reffell said Sunday. “Your mind is like a blank. It’s like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change.”

I may very well have an orgasm on Dec. 22, but unless global harmony looks something like, say, Reese Witherspoon’s soon-to-be-ex, I won’t be visualizing world peace.

And then there’s Maude …

BFF Bush and Putin model the latest in men’s mumus –

Michael Richards is a racist jerk

Kramer may have been one of the more likable characters on TV, but the actor who played him is anything but:

Richards, who played the wacky Cosmo Kramer on the hit TV show “Seinfeld,” appeared onstage at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood. Kyle Doss, an African-American, told TMZ he and some friends were in the cheap seats and he was playfully heckling Richards when suddenly, the comedian lost it.

The camera started rolling just as Richards began his attack, screaming at one of the men, “Fifty years ago we’d have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass.”

Richards continued, “You can talk, you can talk, you’re brave now motherf**ker. Throw his ass out. He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! He’s a nigger! A nigger, look, there’s a nigger!”

The crowd is visibly and audibly confused and upset. Richards responds by saying, “They’re going to arrest me for calling a black man a nigger.

Malcontenter Stanley Roper had his own brush with Richards back when he worked as an extra on the actor’s ill-fated follow-up to “Seinfeld.”

Once on a set i was standing leaning against the wall, he walked by and hip checked me, then looked back and glared.

Another time i was in a restaurant scene and he was doing something where he got into a fight, and kept throwing a chair inches from ny head. Then when Danny (a friend of ours) was playing a cook in a diner, he kept jumping through the little window and hitting Danny, throwing stuff all over him, just going way over the top

Then he left about 40 extras, full camera crew, and all of the directors standing around for maybe 3 hours waiting for him to stop yelling at what looked like network execs, this was right before they dropped his show.

The guy is just a high strung, egotistical asshole, the worst i ever saw out of all of those shows I worked on.

My morning Barium

I wasn’t too worried about my Upper GI this morning — until I heard the woman in the examination stall next to me.

“Heavenly Father, thank you for saving my soul. Please Jesus, help me through this. Bless my children, my mother, my father, my sisters. Help John and Tina, help them get back to church …”

She repeated this prayer, in thick mountain twang, about a half-dozen times, as if the plane was going down and she had minutes to live. I started getting worried, then annoyed. Fortunately — or unfortunately — the acrid taste of the Barium drowned out her lamentations.

Everybody hates Wal-Mart

Including the Christian right:

Baird had worked for the corporation, in various branches including Sam’s Club and Wal-Mart, since 1992. It was a recent tip she received from her brother that was the beginning of the end, because he told her “my company had joined the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.”

It was during an interview with WND in August that Wal-Mart spokesman Bob McAdam said, “It is correct that we have a dialogue with the (gay chamber). This is just what businesses do.”

“Sam Walton was such a moral man, he wouldn’t even allow music to be sold in his stores if it had bad language,” Baird said. “When it comes to moral values, first of all they started selling smutty magazines, then they brought in nasty music and videos, even ones others refused to sell, like ‘Brokeback Mountain.’”

Now this comes along. “I sent an e-mail (to the company) asking, ‘What have you done to Sam Walton’s store?” Baird said.

Because of the NGLCC deal, Missouri Baptists are threatening a boycott.

Meanwhile, former VP candidate John Edwards, a longtime critic of the retailing giant, was spotted shopping at Wal-Mart a few days back. Some would call that rank hypocrisy –

On the same day Edwards was bashing Wal-Mart on a conference call with a bunch of labor leaders, an “aide” was asking one local Wal-Mart if they wouldn’t mind bumping the former senator to the front of the line to get a Playstation 3 for his son.

(Heads up to Independent Gay Forum)

Look away …

Longtime Atlantans might remember Aunt Fanny’s Cabin in Smyrna. I went there a few times as a child, totally oblivious to the outrageous racial stereotypes being perpetuated for whitey’s entertainment.

It was, as Cliff Bostock wrote a few years back in Creative Loafing, Atlanta’s first theme restaurant:

I well remember the front room of the restaurant. Its walls were covered with black-and-white pictures of big-name celebrities who had eaten there — everyone from Vivien Leigh to Christine Jorgensen, the blond bombshell transsexual of the ’50s. But the most memorable part of a visit to Aunt Fanny’s was the waitstaff. As soon as you sat down, a young black boy under 12 came to your table and poked his head through a blackboard menu. He recited the menu sing-song style: “Aunt Fanny says, howdy, folks, wot’ll it be? Our famous fried chicken … .”

Halfway through your meal — the fried chicken and vegetables really were delicious — the black waitresses gathered around the piano in their slavery gowns and sang old-timey gospel music for the white folks. They shook mason jars with coins in them, gathering tips for their church, the story went. These were the later days of the Civil Rights Movement, and a shocking rumor circulated at one point that the ladies demanded better pay and refused to sing “Dixie.” But in every other way, the restaurant, which finally closed in 1992, was an appalling example of the way white Southerners can romanticize the glory days of slavery.

Worst villain ever!

I’ll spare you a countdown of film evildoers and go straight to Number One:

Give me back my turquoise Albert Schweitzer doll

The visuals don’t necessarily jibe with the lyrics, but this homemade video is the only Brainiac I could find on YouTube, so live with it.

Ultraconservative overstatement of the week

Why would Warren marry the moral equivalency of his pulpit – a sacred place of honor in evangelical tradition – to the inhumane, sick, and sinister evil that Obama has worked for as a legislator?

–Columnist Kevin McCullough

Christian author and pastor Rick Warren invitied Barack Obama to speak at his California church because the two have worked together on the AIDS pandemic in Africa. How inhumane, sick and sinister is that?

It’s time to address a certain, unavoidable fact:

The mean-spiritedness of the far right — almost wholly represented by fundamentalist Christians — is beyond compare. Hell, even conservative/libertarian talk show host Neal Boortz says the most hateful e-mail he receives comes via the extremist right. That’s not to say other extremes aren’t often pissy and petty, but, by and large, they’re not claiming to represent God.

Until the Republicans rid themselves of this crowd, they can expect to lose. And until they choose to cut ties with these priggish, anti-intellecutual assholes, I hope they lose.